She is lost.

That is the first thought that sprang to Kai’s mind when he saw her for the first time. Kai was in the hospital, doing his job when he saw a girl crying alone.

He wasn’t sure what made him go over to her nor what made him sat beside her as she cried. It was a good thing that she never noticed him because he wouldn’t be able to mask his shock in his eyes.

Kai had an uncanny ability to be able to see how long a person had got to live but this ability comes with the job, a job he had never liked. He was used to seeing people’s number dwindling but there was something different about this girl because she had too much ‘life’ in her to die so young.

He was curious but his duties were pressing so he went on his way but he couldn’t get the girl out of his mind.

The second time he saw her was in the hospital as well, she wasn’t crying but she was still lost. It was as if she didn’t know what she should be doing with her life. Against Kai’s better judgement, he took the first step and spoke to her.

“Are you lost?” Kai asked her softly and saw the girl widening her eyes.

“I am not lost, I know where I am.” The girl told her and attempted to walk away from the creepy guy who asked such a weird question.

“I don’t mean it that way,” Kai said quietly. “I mean lost as in, you lost your direction in your life or something like that.”

“Sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.” The girl told him and she picked up her pace, walked out of the hospital.

Tiffany was lost, she didn’t expect things to turn out this way at all. She gave Taeyeon a weak before sitting down and taking out her textbook. Throughout the lesson, her mind wasn’t on the teacher, it was on the boy who asked her if she was lost.

She touched unknowingly before her hands trembled and she excuse herself to the ladies. Tiffany took a good look at herself in the mirror, wondering what she did in the past to warrant such fate for herself.

Eventually, it got too much for her as she sunk down to the floor and started crying again. Something she had been doing a lot the past few days.

“I am sorry,” Kai muttered as the man in the bed took his last breath while looking at him in horror. He couldn't blame the guy though, he had been doing this job for so long and he had never seen someone smiled at him without fear.

Tiffany wanted to be a singer, singing had always been her passion because it let her expressed herself in ways that she usually couldn’t do so. She wasn’t good with words much less drawing yet singing was something different.

In singing, she found that she could let out what she trying to convey with each words that came out of but soon this will be taken away as well.

Kai saw her the third time, staring blankly at the cherry blossoms. He walked over to her and sat beside her, wondering what she was looking at because cherry blossoms didn’t seem that interesting.

“You are right,” she told her after a while. “I am lost.”

Kai simply hummed in response as he waited for the girl to continue.

“I have throat cancer and I probably can’t sing anymore in the future.” The girl confided in him. “It hurts because singing is my life and now they are taking this away from me and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what should I do with the rest of my life, I wanted to simply sing but – “

“Your throat hurts, right?” Kai muttered and the girl nodded.

“Is this some sick joke to tell me that I am not suitable for singing? Is this some sick joke to tell me that singing isn’t my – “The girl broke down and started crying.

As much as Kai wanted to gather her in his arms, it would went against the rules so he clasped his hands together to fight the compulsion. “I am sorry.”

He learnt that her name was Tiffany Hwang and he liked how her name rolled off his tongue. He learnt what her favourite colours was and what food she liked to eat. Kai learnt about her habits and quirks.

She was colours in his monochrome life and he wanted to see more and learn more about her. He wanted to hold her hand and ran his fingers through her hair, he wanted to hug her when she cried. But most of all, he wanted to listen to her singing until the end of time.

Kai wanted to see her smile that eye smile of hers at him and he wanted to keep her, to simply make her belong to him but death gods and human were never meant to be together.

Tiffany found Kai to be weird, he liked wearing black coloured clothing and there was this unnatural calmness to him that made him so still as though he was a statue instead of a living, breathing human.

She learnt that Kai abhorred touch and he had specifically told her not to touch him, Tiffany kept that in mind because there was this one time when she accidentally brushed her hand against him and Kai dropped down to the floor as he clutched his heart.

Tiffany was shock but Kai simply asked her to stay there and don’t move, it was only after a while that Kai stopped writhing in pain but there was the shortness of breath and his pale face as he reminded Tiffany to never touch him again. It scared her and she never do so again.

Tiffany’s illness went on a downward spiral and Kai couldn’t do anything but to watch on because death gods weren’t meant to interfere with human lives

He watched how she cried for days and nights because she couldn’t say anything at all much less sing. He watched on she kept to herself and stopped coming to the hospital ever since, he watched on Tiffany Hwang gave up on her life.

For the first time ever, Kai felt a strange emotion in his heart. This wasn’t a normal occurrence because death god weren’t meant to feel anything since the higher ups didn’t want death god’s feelings to interfere with their job.

Kai could feel his heart ached as Tiffany hummed a tune but had to stop after a while because it hurt too much. He watched the blood she coughed out because she tried to sing again and again but failing to do.

He couldn’t simply do anything when Tiffany tried taking her life once, he saw her looking broken as she laid in the hospital bed. Her wrist was bandaged as she looked out of the window, probably seeing nothing since Kai had never see anyone’s eyes so dead.

Kai briefly looked up at her life timer and he was determined to do something for her.

Tiffany had the company of Kai since she was admitted to the hospital, the guy was quiet but she felt assured by him. There was something about him that put her at ease, she could get lost in his eyes and forget for a while how she couldn’t sing anymore.

For the first time ever, Tiffany thought that if she had Kai at her side then maybe losing her voice was worth it.

Kai crept into the room and placed a kiss on the forehead of the sleeping Tiffany, he had made his choice and it was fine because this woman in the bed gave him something.

She taught him feelings, she gave him colours in his life and Kai had lived enough. He took her hand in his and bit down hard on his lips as the pain spread throughout his body, but he couldn’t stop now otherwise, it will be all for naught.

5 minutes seem like an hour when he could feel his power being drained away, Kai felt his body becoming lighter and soon, his legs started disappearing first.

The process was painful but it was worth it, as he continued to hold the hand of Tiffany.

“I love you.” He told her before disappearing fully.

Tiffany stirred and sat up on her bed when she didn’t feel hurts anymore, she tried speaking and it sounded like it always does.

She called the nurses and true enough, she had recovered. Tiffany was baffled until she saw a note on her bed.

“Tiffany-ah! Can I call you this for once? You probably would have guessed that I am not human or anything close to that, as to what I am I will let you guess. Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I won’t be appearing by your side anymore. I am sorry about that. Can I tell you a secret? I love your singing voice and it is the best thing in the world. Don’t give up on your passion because I know how much you love singing. Even though I am not here by your side to listen to you sing, I will be watching over you so please continue because I know how much it hurts you to not be able to sing. Last but not last, don’t lost that smile of yours because that was what made me fall for you.”

Tiffany crumpled the paper in her hands as she cried. The silly boy was the one who gave her back her voice at the expense of himself.

“I love you,” Tiffany whispered. “Thank you.”

As you would have probably know, I am not the best at girlxboy pairing and I don't ship kaifany. But hope that this is fine and please do comment. Thank you!