Note: I would edit it but I'm very scared my parents are gonna find me awake ahahah....6:18am XDD
Sorry, for mistakes. 3

I made this on some sort of whim I guess. Just felt the need to write it you know :OO

I'm gonna go pretend to sleep bye~

Everything hurts.

My eyes tiny slits after crying so long.

My skin sleek with perspiration.

My lips trembling

My heart beating fast and irregular.

Aching…everything aching.

I don’t understand why.

No…I do

But why admit to those things?

Why admit that your world isn’t perfect?

Just

Pretend.

That’s what everyone does.

Pretend that some certain person

Means the world to them.

Pretend that the names people call you

Don’t hurt.

Pretend that everything is

Fine.

Imagining

Your world is

Perfect

Saves you the pain

The tears

The ache

The numbness

That nothing will be okay.

I used to

Think

That it was

Just

Me.

MY life was .

My mind was full of .

But I was

Wrong.

I’d rather it just be me.

To have this weight on my shoulders

To have this deep gut feeling

Gnaw at my insides

Settle in my stomach.

But I have buddies now.

You can see my

Jubilance.

Now….

These people

These girls

That were with me and made me

Feel safe

Tiffany, Yuri, Sunny,

Seohyun, Hyoyeon, Sooyoung

Yoona and Jessica

They’re…they’re not what I

Thought.

Not who I thought

They were.

All these

Frightening

Secrets.

I hate them.

Those secrets…

That shouldn’t have existed.

I am the

Leader.

I am the one who solves

Their problems.

But I can’t

Help them.

What they do to

Their skin.

Mutilate it with all

Sorts of utensils

Is something I can’t

Fix.

Can’t solve.

Such a deep burden they

Carry.

And mine as well.

I am their

Protector

Their guidance yet

I cannot save them.

They don’t share their thoughts.

They don’t share their tears.

They don’t share the knives

Razors

Pencil sharpeners.

I don’t belong in their group.

Not in that kind.

But I love them

Love them all.

Together forever.

So…I guess we’re all going to

Hell.