Kai watched as the girl beside him slept peacefully. It was in the middle of the night yet he couldn’t close his eyes. He took a deep sigh and smiled bitterly while fixing the girl’s bangs. The girl whimpered a little and furrowed her eyebrows as if she was in pain. Her breaths quickened and she clutched the bed sheet tightly. “Please, don’t leave me… I need you, JongIn.” She whispered in agony as tears started streaming down her face. Kai touched her face and wiped away the tears. “I’m here, Yul. I’m here and I won’t leave you.” He cooed softly as he caressed her cheeks. Slowly, her tight grip on the bed sheet loosened and her breaths went back to normal rate.

Kai laid down as he kept his gaze at her face. She still looked uneasy, though. She reached out her hand and he immediately clasped his hand with hers. He moved closer to her and she snuggled deeper to him, seeking for his warmth and comfort. Kai her hair and hummed a lullaby mindlessly. A lone tear fell from his eyes without his realization. He quickly wiped it off. “Kwon Yuri, what am I going to do with you?”

FLASHBACK

“Yuri noona, this is my brother, Kim JongIn. Kai hyung, this is my girlfriend, Kwon Yuri.” Sehun said excitedly as he dragged a young girl to the living room where Kai was laying lazily on the sofa. Jumping off of it, Kai smiled at his brother and gave him a quick hug before darting his eyes to Sehun’s back. Yuri smiled shyly and offered her hand for a handshake. “It’s nice to meet you, Kai-ssi.” Kai shook her hand as he fixed his gaze on her face, couldn’t help but felt mesmerized by her beauty.

He smiled back at her while speaking softly. “Please, just call me Kai…”

*******

“Hyung, please pick up Yuri at her campus right now. I won’t make it on time because I still have one more meeting to attend.” Sehun spoke hurriedly through the phone. Kai looked at his watch and sighed. He could never say no to his beloved brother’s request… correction, he could never say no if it was about Kwon Yuri. “Fine, I’ll go now. You owe me once, Hun.” He said before hanging up.

Driving his car slowly, Kai remembered the first time he laid his eyes on Yuri. It felt like just yesterday for him, when it was already happened 5 years ago. He chuckled dryly as he felt an unbearable ache inside his heart. He had his first love that day. He fell in love with his brother’s girlfriend. As wrong as it was, he always prayed silently for them to break up. But it never happened, of course. Just like him, Sehun was a one-woman man. Parking his car in front of the campus building, he could see Yuri was sitting at the bench. She seemed lovely while she was reading her book.

Getting out from the car, Kai approached her and sat beside her. Yuri looked up and gave him a tiny smile. “Hunnie can’t make it again?” She asked as she returned her attention back to her book. Kai just sighed and nodded his head. “He should manage his time to spend it more with you…” He muttered lowly, but loud enough to be heard by Yuri. Closing the book, she looked up to the sky and smiled. “It’s okay. He’s always the type to work hard and give his best on what he’s doing. That’s one of his charms, right?” She spoke happily and laughed after that. Kai could only gulp the lump in his throat as he pushed back the tears that threatened to fall. He loved a girl who could never be his. How cruel life could be?

*******

“Hyung, what do you think about this ring? Is it beautiful?” Sehun asked Kai as he showed a diamond ring to his little brother. The younger was forcing the older one to accompany him to go to mall. Kai frowned and nodded his head nonchalantly. “Sehunnie, what is it? Why do you suddenly want to buy a ring?” He asked Sehun as his eyes scanned other rings in the display counter. “I’m going to ask Yuri noona to be my wife tonight.” Kai could swear that his heart stopped beating for a few seconds when he heard the words. Turning slowly towards Sehun, he gulped down. “What did you just say, Sehun? Aren’t you too young to be married ?” He whispered barely audible.

Sehun looked up from the ring he’d been examining and faced Kai. “Yes, is there something wrong? She’s turning 22 this year and we’ve been dating since 3 years ago. I think it’s time, don’t you think?” He spoke to his little brother excitedly, oblivious to Kai’s pale face. “Congratulations, little dongseang. I hope you’ll be happy.” He managed to say weakly as he gripped the glass counter tightly, trying so hard not to break down there. Looking back at the ring, Sehun smiled sincerely and replied softly. “Of course I’ll be happy. I’m going to marry the love of my life…”

*******

Kwon Yuri said yes and the marriage would be held in 3 months. Kai booked a VIP room and wasted himself at the bar while crying his heart out. It hurt so much when he saw Yuri cried in happiness as she accepted Sehun’s proposal. He felt like dying right there at the restaurant. Forcing himself to fake a smile, he walked to them and hugged them, telling them how happy he was for them. Lie, it was a lie! He wanted to take Yuri away and tell her about his feeling and marry her in Paris, the city where she so wanted to go. But his rival was his own brother. The perfect brother whom he looked up to and loved dearly. How could he steal Kai’s fiancée away? He was torn between his love for Sehun and Yuri.

Sitting at the sofa after finishing 3 bottles of wine, he clutched his chest and hit it hard repeatedly. Why did it still hurt? Why didn’t he feel the numbness he’d been seeking for? Feeling frustrated, he threw the glass to the floor as it scattered around his feet. He slumped down and pulled his hair as he shouted his lungs out. It was a pure luck that the VIP room was soundproof. He was a mess yet he could care less. Taking out his phone, he dialed Yuri’s number. She picked up the call and Kai went silent as he listened to her soft voice. Right before he hung up, he whispered the words he’d been keeping inside his heart faintly.

“I love you, Kwon Yuri… I love you so much it hurts.”

*******

Sehun was caught in a hit and run. Kai’s body shook violently as he received the bad news from his mother. Getting into his car, he drove to the hospital with nothing in mind but his brother’s condition. He cried as he prayed silently. It wasn’t long before he reached the hospital and saw Sehun being brought to the operation room. Kai cried harder as he held Sehun’s hand. His younger brother looked terrible. “Sehun… Hunnie, open your eyes. It’s me, your hyung. Sehun…” Kai spoke as he touched his brother’s face.

Sehun opened his