Yuri’s lips trembled as the cold water dripped down her tear struck face. She couldn’t face her. She really couldn’t face Jessica. 

And Kris…

Tossing a hand up to stop her trembling lips she slid down to the floor. 

When the door finally opened, he glanced at Yuri with as much gentleness in his smile as he could. He couldn’t talk to her about it. He needed to figure out why the picture had been taken in the first place. He needed to talk to Jessica, but Yuri would come first. Yuri would always come first. 

“Are you ok?” he asked reaching a hand forward to touch her but paused recalling that she hadn’t allowed him to even touch her hair. “Let’s go eat.” 

Yuri followed him into the kitchen and for once, the two of them ate in bitter silence. 

After he walked her to her apartment, he hurried back to the car, and headed off to Jessica’s place. 

He quickly pounded on the door and Jessica opened it, a smile erupting on her face. 

“Kris, what are you…” she began, but he didn’t have the patience to listen. 

Pushing his way in, he kicked the door closed and stared at her. 

“Please,” Kris started, “tell me the truth. Lee Jessica, I always believed in you, please don’t disappoint me.” 

Jessica stared up into his pleading face, her expecting expression disappearing by the second. 

Kris fished out his phone and opened up the picture holding it out for her to see. Jessica’s eyes glued themselves to the photo before she glanced at him. 

“Did you…do this?” Kris asked. 

Jessica’s eyes searched around the room. She wasn’t answering. 

“Jessica.” his voice trembled with depth. 

She bit on her thumb and forefinger nervously.

Kris bit his bottom lip turning away from her, “You weren’t who I thought you were. Let’s not meet anymore.” 

He started away but stopped when Jessica grabbed his arm with both hands. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Kris, I…I was going to tell you about it sooner or later.”

“Ah…I see. Instead of sooner, you chose later,” Kris’s voice dropped a pitch, the disappointment utterly clear in his tone. 

Without a farewell, he walked out. 

“Kris! Kris!” Jessica screamed after him. 

Finally her footsteps came after him and tugged him around when he opened his car door. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried, tears falling from her eyes. But he couldn’t find it in himself to forgive her. “We…we didn’t do anything. I swear. It all just happened on impulse. I’m sorry. Kris, don’t leave me like this.” 

He tugged his arm out of her grasp and got into his car veering off into the road. 

The darkness of the night wrapped its arms around him in comfort as he drove around quietly. He couldn’t go to Yuri, the brave face. There was no way he would be able to comfort her. 

Parking his car by the river, he stepped out and sat down on the grass to stare out at its vast body. When the cold wind wept by, he finally felt the sorrow stinging at his heart. He’d been a failure. He couldn’t see through Yuri’s smile when she pretended that everything was alright. Had had been too focused on only him and his feelings. Kris had been too selfish. He couldn’t deserve a brave face like Yuri. 

Neither contacted the other the next day, but the day following that Kris received a text from Yuri that she would be coming over with pizza. He waited and let her in. 

“Hey,” she greeted with a smile. 

He so badly wanted to pull her into his arms, cradle her to sleep, and tell her that he was sorry. He’d ask her for forgiveness hugging her with all his heart. 

But, really, he just stood there and watched as she gathered plates from the kitchen. When she headed back toward him she grabbed a slice of pizza and placed it onto the plate for him. 

“Sorry, I didn’t call yesterday,” Yuri apologized. 

She wasn’t eating. She hadn’t taken a pizza for herself. So, was she just busying his mouth so he wouldn’t speak? 

“I…got a job transfer to Japan.” Yuri said, her smile barely there. “I’m leaving this weekend.” 

Kris felt the plate slip from his hands and land on the carpeted floor with a soft thud. Yuri stared at him for quite a while before she knelt onto the ground to pick it up. Very quickly, Kris grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to face him. 

His lips shook unable to bring the words to his lips. 

He didn’t deserve her if he couldn’t figure her out. He couldn’t even prevent her from getting hurt by the person who he thought was closest to him. He failed at everything. He was selfish, greedy, just wanted to fulfill his desires. He couldn’t come close to the brave face, Yuri. 

Kris’s hands tightened on her arms and loosened only to tighten again. 

“Kris,” Yuri looked up into his eyes, “I might not come back for a while. Lets lay things to rest for a while.” 

She meant she wasn’t coming back. 

They were breaking up. 

The emotions swelling inside him was on the verge of exploding. But he had to hold it. If the brave face, Yuri, could do it, he had to as well. 

“I love you so much, it hurts,” Yuri smiled. “I’m sorry, Kris.” 

She slid forward, arms around his neck, and hugged him close. Kris buried his face into her hair unable to hold her back. His heart hurt he thought he could feel it shattering within its shell. He couldn’t breathe. 

And so, here he was smiling as he waved to her. Yuri smiled back at him and waved before slowly turning around to head through the gates toward the airplane. 

They hadn’t been able to speak their hearts and that fact had hurt the most. Honestly, Kris didn’t want Yuri to become another regret, another unbearable pain, he most didn’t want her to be in another’s arms. He hadn’t been able to apologize in place of Jessica. Kris had been unable to correct his wrongs. 

When he returned to his apartment, he dropped to the ground, curled up, and cried away. 

While the plane descended in the air and Kris remained seat belted in his seat by the window, he couldn’t help but feel as empty as ever. Where was he going now? What was he going to do now? What would be awaiting him? 

Now that he’d left all else behind…at least he thought he was leaving everything behind. An announcement came on overhead, but Kris didn’t have the mind to pay attention to it. He climbed off the plane after the other passengers had already left and was greeted by the flight attendant at the doorway. 

“Have a nice trip, Sir.” she bowed her head. 

Kris walked pass her without a word and started down the small hall toward the baggage area. 

What was he doing here again? 

His eyes skimmed every bag that came by blankly. 

What was he running from again? 

He picked up his suitcase and started for the entrance. 

Kris didn’t know. 

He could only remember being hurt and living in dark misery for the past 5 years that had gone by. Each day that came just felt longer. For once, he believed he was living in hell. No, he’d lived in hell the past 5 years. If he died now and went to that doomed place, he wouldn’t be afraid. Such a place would definitely serve him better than this place on earth. 

The bright sun seared his eyes and he had to blink back before clearly seeing all the cars parked out from and the busy highway on the other side. Pulling out his sunglasses he slipped them over his eyes and trotted forward hailing himself a taxi. 

Once the car started off he appreciated the silence the taxi driver gave him. 

He didn’t know where he was going. 

The taxi driver drove around a run down city overgrown with meadows, poor homes, and a brick wall. Kris suddenly turned in his seat when something from the corner of his eye caught his attention. Twisting his body around to look through the back window he felt his heart throb, his feelings shattering to pieces. Joy, desperation, and despair overwhelmed him. So many feelings suffocated him that he lost the ability to speak. Before he realized it, what he’d seen had become a speckle of dirt in his eye. 

“Stop,” his voice was an utmost whisper. 

“Stop.” 

“Stop!” 

The car halted to a stop and Kris struggled with the door lock before finally managing to unlock it. His long legs tossed themselves out of the car and he sped back down the road fighting the tears that were choking him up. However much dirt he kicked up with his feet and onto his clothes didn’t matter. What mattered most was what was in front of him. 

His thudding heart, his pounding ribs, his heavy breathing, had no one heard it at all? 

Finally stopping in front of the open gates he heard a d