Staring at the sleeping beauty beside me as I tug her body closer to mine sends another painful heartache; that she can only be mine at the worst times. I tried to distant myself before but whenever I see her crying, it always breaks me within into the tiniest bits, a million folds than what she feels... just like today. I moved a few hair strands away from her pretty face and caressed her cheeks with much more gentleness I can ever do.

I can't even count how many times I have wished she's mine; the whole her.

She groaned; a sign that everything will end again today, that she will wake up and leave me in the room once more, waiting for another day of her miserable comeback.

Just how many times have I wished that time will stop whenever she’s lying next to me?

She slowly opens her sense of sight; obviously adjusting on the room’s light. After a short while, she sees me gazing at her. She lifts her hand and lays them flat on my face as she heartbreakingly stares at me… but I ignore that. I close the distance between us and cover her lips with mine.

All I yearn for is to be with her.

The feelings we share in the process is mutual; that we can never be together. She breaks it and pushes me cautiously away from her. I start to feel it again for the nth time, my chest clenching, together with my fist.

I want to hold her longer.

She looks away with guilt, biting her lower lip whenever she’s at the verge of crying; the scene I hate the most. “Sorry,” she apologizes. I hiss and secure her in my arms yet again. Expectation comes, she’s sobbing on my chest, saying that single word over and over again.

Sorry—the most painful word I would always hear.

She stops and tries her best to smile at me. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

And I constantly wonder how a simple thanks can make my heart flutters.

I move nearer, stopping millimeter before her, our lips touching as I speak. “Have I ever told yo—” Loud knocks dominated the peaceful room; she immediately gets up and picks her clothes on the floor as she puts them on. “It must be him,” she states. I nod and stand up as I decide to help her fit her dress. She sweetly smiles at me once in awhile when I fix her garments neatly as a final retouch. She jumps for a tight embrace and whispers. I smile at her as she parts away from me. She quickly runs to the door and disappears, holding another guy’s hand.

“Have I ever told you? I love you.” I wasn’t even been able to finish my little confession.

A soft chuckle comes out as I lean my head on the bed’s board, clearly remembering her final words: “I love you too, Joon. In the way that I know.”

But not as much as she loves the guy who breaks her being, Yong Junhyung.

But whatever happens, I am just and will always be the man in the background who makes her forgets about tearing apart; but sooner or later, the man she would forget whenever he will come and get her back. A laugh burst out from my mouth as I hit my face with my palm. I feel a lump in my throat upon realizing what my existence is. Tears slowly stream down even though I ask them not to come out.

But I guess it’s okay; as long as... she needs me.