The                   Last
                                                                 

**Gif does not belong to me.**

“...I love you,” Daehyun whispered, giving the top of Youngjae’s head a kiss.

A beautiful morning, with beautiful weather. Daehyun and Youngjae were still in bed, snuggling up against one another. Youngjae was lying on Daehyun’s chest, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat, fresh in the morning.

Youngjae smiled, hearing Daehyun’s tender, honest words. But it also made Youngjae curious.

“Hey,” it was barely a whisper, and Daehyun questioned why Youngjae left his warmth.

Youngjae lifted up a knee to his chest, steadying himself with his right hand before he spoke:

“How many were there before me?”

Daehyun smiled a little, “What do you mean?”

Youngjae scooted closer to his lover, thinking about what to say. “How many people did you love before me?”

“Love?” Daehyun asked, pursing his lips in thought.

“Five,” he began and Youngjae nodded, “I loved five others before you.”

“What were their names?” Youngjae asked, smiling.

“Who, what, when, where, and why,” Daehyun replied.

“Can you tell me about them?” Youngjae asked, clearly intrigued.

“Who I loved,” Daehyun started, “was a friend from college. We weren’t really all that close, but with a few little interactions with a person I barely knew, filled in the blanks like a fairy tale author. What he became in my head became a little more than a reality.

“He was a third year, fraternity guy. He had a voice lower than the lowest possible octave. Several times, we got to spend together, outside of class, it really allowed me to see how he had a great heart, and he had a big attachment to children. Problem is, so did every other person,” Daehyun laughed, and continued, “and while he turned me down nicely, I swear there were times when the laid back, good-looking third year felt something for the dumb, typical freshman.”

“What I loved, was an old friend. Just a friend. We met early in college, and kept in touch through the years after. We saw each other grow, and change, and through multiple relationships. His voice was deep too, but raspy. He’s always had this eye dimple I enjoy staring at, and an unstoppable coffee addiction. I saw his different partners come and go, he was also there for all his other friends, and when I broke up with mine.

“Personality, humor, taste...it was all there. He and I were almost perfect,” Daehyun nodded, as well as Youngjae, “the only thing that wasn’t perfect was our timing.

“We were never single at the same time, and what we loved about each other, it was never enough to leave who we were with. This was something we eventually had to face, and we had to leave behind what we had.”

“When I loved, was my first boyfriend in high school. He was always much of a smiler, and I didn’t understand how his cheeks never went sore. It’s a bit unfair, because he embodies the combination of both. Love and youth. The feeling of young love was unique, and impossible to replace with a replicate. Because we can only be that age once. High school was a time of innocence, discovery and adventure.

“We shared these three elements together and things like, our first kiss, late nights sneaking out, and rom-com movies, all of which now have become, a nostalgic love. Preserved at a time where neither of us can touch, but know was there. Even though we were just kids, there was no doubt that when we were there....we were in love.”

“Where I loved was the guy I met during a dance practice I had when I lived in Seoul temporarily. I never intended then to stay that long. It was just the six-month internship after graduating. But it all changed when I met him. Soon a year had passed, then somehow another year after that, I couldn’t leave the city. I couldn’t leave him.

“Maybe it was my desire to be on my own. Or prove something to everyone back at home. But he helped me accomplish it over there! With a relationship reflective of this city we were in. A new energy, and new experiences, that, really pushed me to mature more than anyone; or anywhere else. When people ask what city I love the most, I say...Seoul. The city where I loved the most.”

“Why I loved was a close friend of mine who passed away. She was the only girl I dated, and really enjoyed every minute with her. She accepted me for who I am, thankfully, and I accepted her. She was part Korean, so we had some type of language barrier. But I still loved her.

“She told me after she was diagnosed that, death was not what saddened her the most. The fact that she never really felt like she had fallen in love, she wouldn’t have to get those emotions, good and bad. Of being hurt, and of being held. After she passed, those words...stuck with me the most. Teaching me to see that one of the greatest gifts we have of is, the ability to give and receive, and even lose love. There are so many like her, whose lives end before having any of those experiences. What a waste if we strive to love in our lives. She may be understanding why. Why waste this life of, not loving?”

Youngjae took a deep breath, many things going through his head, at the same time, feeling proud about how Daehyun admitted those things to him and, how he put his own feelings into such beautiful, poetic words.

“I understand now,” Youngjae said.

“You are the sixth,” Daehyun says with a reassuring smile, making Youngjae think.

“Hmm, a sixth...which one am I by then?” he smiled.

“You’re none of them,” the elder laughs internally, his radial smile directed towards his love.

“Because you’re all of them.” Youngjae chuckles as Daehyun speaks again, “You are who I love.

“The guy on the pedestal, the fantasy, the make-believe things that are actually true.”

“You are what I love, the depth, the inside jokes, the best friend...” Daehyun kissed Youngjae’s nose, making the younger scrunch his face cutely.

“You are when I love. A new history’s being started with you. We are the young lovers our older selves will someday reminisce about.

“You are where I love. Because I’d go anywhere, just to be with you.

“You are why I love. Because before you, I didn’t truly understand what I was looking for. And now that we found each other, you’ve given my past a future and meaning.

“You are the sixth. You are the last.” Daehyun leaned in and stole Youngjae’s lips into a kiss, the younger smiling uncontrollably, the older can’t seem to contain it either. They parted, and their foreheads were against each other. Youngjae still couldn’t stop smiling.

“That’s ‘when’ right there,” Daehyun said, chuckling.

They held a gaze at each other, just enjoying each other’s company, when a question popped into Daehyun’s brain.

“So,” he smiled and massaged Youngjae’s hands with his, “how many were there before me?”

“Um...” he looked out the window, thinking, “Five as well.”

“What were their names?” Daehyun asked, kissing the back of his boyfriend’s hand.

Youngjae smiled.

Who, what, where, when, why.

Sobsob.

The video is a bit better lol.

Thanks for reading!

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-Emma