"I don't think singing in Japanese is hard," Sungyeol says, grinning slightly as he looks over at Hoya.

He doesn't expect Hoya's scathing reply. "That's because you don't have any parts."

The smile almost slips off his face, but somehow he finds the strength to keep it in place. He hopes nobody saw his grin falter for that split second, but the look Myungsoo shoots him says otherwise. Still, Sungyeol pretends to look offended (even if he's not really pretending), sending a teasing comment back.

He doesn't let himself feel upset.

Not until the interview ends and the cameras stop rolling. Not until he stops being Sungyeol of Infinite and starts being plain old Lee Sungyeol again. Only then does he let himself feel hurt.

He doesn't let the others know. It's a little stupid to sulk over a small comment that was meant to be teasing (even if it didn't feel like a joke to him). He doesn't want the others to know about his bad mood, least of all Hoya. It would only bring on more criticism and he's had enough of that for one day.

Sungyeol can't help but slam the van door as they're making their way home though. It's not a particularly hard slam, but it makes Sungjong jump and Myungsoo give him a concerned look. Neither of them says anything about it, though. Sungyeol guesses it's because they respect his privacy (somewhat) and he's grateful for that.

He settles down next to Myungsoo, but doesn't talk to him. Instead, he puts on his earphones and blasts his music, successfully tuning out the rest of the world.

He supposes it's a little too late to hide his discontent now. Sungyeol rarely shuts out the rest of the world unless he's in a bad mood. He finds himself not caring as he huddles next to Myungsoo. The younger glances at him, but still refuses to comment. Instead, he continues staring intently at his phone, scrolling through some sort of social networking site. He doesn't say anything, but he leans in slightly, placing a comfortable pressure on the elder's shoulder to tell him he's always there to talk.

Sungyeol smiles slightly, feeling a little bit of his bad mood dissipating. Myungsoo is a good friend. He doesn't know what he would do without the visual around. He might probably go insane (although it doesn't make a difference, since Myungsoo drives him crazy on a regular basis anyway).

He doesn't think he can talk about this to anyone though, not even his best friend. It's complicated and vexing and Sungyeol himself can't even explain it. It's a tangled mess of 'I shouldn't' and 'I wish' that the tall choding can't be bothered to untangle.

It would be easier to start with the cause of the problem. That was simple. It was Hoya.

Sungyeol blames Hoya for his bad mood. He didn't have to say that in front of the camera, on television.

He's gotten enough crap from the rest of the world. Critics who say he doesn't contribute to the group, who say he doesn't work as hard as the others, who say he's not good enough. They pick on him because he doesn't have many lines. It's true, but he'd rather not be reminded of it (least of all by Hoya).

It's not that he doesn't want to have more lines. He does. It's just that he doesn't feel he's quite good enough, so he asks for lesser lines. Maybe in the future, when he's better at singing – better at being an idol – he'll stop rejecting the parts that come his way. He might just even cherish them. But for now, he'll keep improving until he's as good as the others.

As Sungyeol forcefully presses the button on his mp3 to skip to the next song, he can't help but find it vexing that Hoya actually mentioned his lack of parts. He didn't even bother to offer an explanation. He simply tosses out the comment like it's nothing, like it means nothing. It might not mean much to the Busan native, but it means a lot to Sungyeol.

He realises that he's being overly sensitive about this. He can't help it though, because it's Hoya. He probably wouldn't have minded so much - would have even expected it - if it had been anyone else, but it hurts more because it came from the one person he actually respected who wasn't older than him by much.

He doesn't want to say he likes Hoya, because he can't. There are so many reasons why he can't like the Busan rapper, but at the moment, he can only think of two.

Society would probably reject their relationship, Sungyeol thinks viciously as he turns up the volume a little more. Myungsoo looks over at him, his eyebrows furrowed. The elder knows he's acting strangely, but he just feels so angry that he can't bring himself to care. Myungsoo can obviously hear the song that's blasting in his ears, but he doesn't comment that it'll damage his ears or that he'd suffer for that in the future. Sungyeol thinks that Myungsoo respects him enough to pry, even if he'll end up discussing this with Sungjong later when he thinks the elder doesn't notice (he does).

Sungyeol is practical. Most people wouldn't think so, but the choding is actually very logical when he wants to be. He just doesn't choose to be logical that often. Liking Hoya is not practical, but it's just another one of those moments where he doesn't want to be practical. Fans might joke about ships, but he doesn't think they'll actually accept him liking Hoya.

Another reason would be Dongwoo. He likes Dongwoo. He really does. But Hoya likes Dongwoo more. It's obvious in the way he's always hanging around the elder. It's difficult to find one without the other.

It's sickening, Sungyeol thinks to himself as his phone buzzes. Hoya is so pathetic in his little crush on the second eldest member. He conveniently forgets his own crush on Hoya. He's not talking about himself, so it doesn't matter. He punches in his password and notices he has a text message from Myungsoo of all people.

He glances at the visual, but the younger is absorbed in a video he's watching on his phone.

He opens the text message, not knowing what to expect.

Hyung, you can talk to me, you know? Don't keep things bottled up. As someone once told me, it's not good for your throat (even if he was lying) XP

A smile twitches his lips and Sungyeol feels his bad mood dissipate a little more. He nudges his seat buddy, who looks over at him after pausing his video.

"I wasn't lying," Sungyeol defends, pulling out an ear bud. "I was just bending the truth a little."

"It's a lie and you know it," Myungsoo argues, although there's a slight smile on his face.

"It's not good for you either way, so your argument is invalid." He holds out the ear bud in his hand, showing his best friend that he isn't in such a bad mood anymore. The younger accepts his offer, although he knocks his knee against the elder's (which is a difficult feat since Sungyeol's legs are much longer than his after all and Myungsoo barely has leg room) to tell him that the argument is far from over.

His bad mood is far from disappearing, but he doesn't want to worry his favourite dongsaeng anymore (not that he has that many dongsaengs anyway, being third youngest). He doesn't want to think about Hoya anymore either (it isn't because the Busan rapper fills his thoughts every other minute of the day).

At least now his grin doesn't feel as forced as Myungsoo's phone lays forgotten on his lap while he's trying to distract the elder from his Candy Pang. Sungyeol tries his best to keep his concentration on his game. He refuses to let Myungsoo's finger swiping across his phone's screen distract him. It doesn't work, of course, but there's no real menace in Sungyeol's voice even as he cusses out the group's visual in Korean, Japanese and some broken English.

The visual snickers, shooting a mischievous grin at his hyung. It quickly morphs into a scowl as Sungyeol's hand smacks the back of his head.

"You brat," Sungyeol says, an affectionate tone in his voice.

"That's why you love me," Myungsoo replies cheekily. He receives Sungyeol's bony elbow in his side, unable to dodge due to the cramped space.

Sungjong looks over at Myungsoo as the visual presses closer to him to escape Sungyeol's abuse. A pout forms on his lips. "Hyung, don't you love me too?" the maknae asks, giving his hyung the puppy eyes (and succeeding in making Sungyeol feel guilty, not that he'd admit it).

The ride back to the dorm passes like that. Sungyeol and Myungsoo are constantly prodding each other, distracting themselves from their phones. Sungjong occasionally interrupts, but is generally ignored by his two hyungs.

The whole ride, the eldest of the three can feel a pair of eyes boring into the back of his head. He doesn't turn to see who it is. Maybe it's because a part of him secretly wishes it was Hoya who was trying to burn a hole in his head in a jealous fit. It's all wishful thinking, of course, but he'll always be hopeful.

(It's probably just Woohyun trying to tell us to keep it down, Sungyeol tells himself, even though he doesn't feel that it’s quite right.)

He just wishes he isn't so that he won't be so disappointed when Hoya goes back to Dongwoo, like he always does.

Sungyeol is the first one off the van for a change. He hops out of his cramped seat, stretching out his legs. It's not good for him to sit in the back, but he can't hope to get the front seat. Sunggyu is as protective of the passenger seat as a mother cat is protective of her kittens. He'd sooner take his shirt off during a live performance before he gave up that seat.

"Ah, I'm so tired," Sungyeol exhales loudly before he gets pushed out of the way by Woohyun.

"You're blocking the way," Woohyun complains. He doesn't see the face Sungyeol makes at his back, but Myungsoo does. The visual snickers, causing the choding to elbow him to keep him quiet. "You and your stupid long limbs."

"Woohyun-ah, if you're jealous that I'm taller than you, just say so," Sungyeol says off-handedly, a cocky smirk on his face as he gloats slightly. Even if his vocals might not quite match up with Woohyun's, he'll always have a height advantage over him. At this point, Sungyeol will take any advantage he can get over s.

Unintelligible muttering can be heard from the main vocal, although the words 'giraffe' and 'immature' might have been thrown somewhere in there.

"Kids," Sunggyu says, a warning tone in his voice, "no fighting until we reach the dorm. We don't need your fights to be caught on camera."

"It's a little late for that," Sungjong mumbles, referring to his and Sungyeol's tussle on Sesame Player not too long ago.

"I guess grandpa's memory is running a little," Sungyeol stage-whispers to the younger, not realising that their leader can hear every word. "His age must be catching up with him."

A sharp smack is dealt to the back of their heads, causing their heads to jerk forward. A whine escapes the maknae's mouth while Sungyeol groans. The impact was closer to his neck than his head due to the height difference and that makes it hurt a little more.

"Hurry up or you two are on bathroom duty for the next two weeks," the leader says apathetically, not bothering to turn and watch the two scramble after the others to avoid getting that undesirable job.

An hour and a half later, all seven members are finally washed up and in their pyjamas, getting ready for bed.

Sungyeol flops down on his bed. He knows he should be sleeping, but he promised Myungsoo he'd finish watching his drama (and it was starting to get interesting). He turns over onto his stomach, reaching for his laptop and plugging it into the socket. The door to the room opens and Hoya walks in, a towel draped around his neck.

The atmosphere of the room suddenly becomes tense as Sungyeol busies himself with his laptop, adamantly not looking in the rapper's direction. He might not be as upset anymore, but that doesn't mean he doesn't still feel hurt. He doesn't want to feel hurt, but he likes Hoya more than he should. Who wouldn't feel hurt if they were in his position?

Sungjong, who had been chattering idly about nothing in particular to Sungyeol, suddenly falls quiet as he watches his two roommates interact - or not interact. Sungyeol chooses to ignore that, instead focusing all his attention on starting up his laptop and looking for his earphones among the mess of sheets he calls his bed. He doesn't want to bother Sungjong and Hoya while he stays up late to watch another few episodes of Myungsoo's drama. That's all. It doesn't have anything to do with the hurt he feels deep inside or the ache in his heart that he gets every time he stares at the rapper. Quietly, Sungyeol can't help but admit that he's pretty pathetic too; trying to get the attention of someone who has only eyes for one person. He doesn't even know why he tries anymore. It just ends with Sungyeol being pushed to one side and Hoya finding his way next to Dongwoo.

He can feel Hoya's eyes on him, but concentrates on untangling his earphones from each other.

"Sungyeol, is something wrong?" Hoya asks, almost causing the other to flinch. Sungyeol manages to cover it up with a cough, but he notices Sungjong wince even as the younger buries his face into his favourite bear.

Sungyeol shrugs, looking much too focused on his earphones. "Why do you ask?" he asks, the right shade of nonchalance in his voice.

 "You're just… acting weird tonight," Hoya mutters. Sungyeol hears a rustle as Hoya sits down on his bed. Inwardly, the choding curses the fact that Hoya can still see him even though he's on the top bunk from his bed.

He barely bites back the 'why do you care?' that threatens to slip out of his mouth. He doesn't want to snap at the rapper. That would just mean that he'd look at him and it'd be that much harder to hide the hurt that he felt; that he still feels.

A sigh escapes his mouth as he finally untangles his earphones from each other, wishing he could untangle his mess of a life that easily.

"It's nothing," he finally answers, "just stuff. Nothing you need to worry about." Not that you care… "If you don't mind, I have a drama to watch so…" He leaves the sentence hanging, finally glancing at the rapper.

Hoya nods, not looking at him. He reaches over and switches off the light, leaving the rest of the room dark except for Sungyeol's bunk, which is bathed in the light of his laptop.

"Goodnight," Hoya says. Sungyeol watches as Hoya opens his mouth to say something, but then shakes his head and lays down on his bunk, turning his back to Sungyeol.

"Night," Sungyeol replies, turning his attention to his laptop and inserting his ear buds into his ears. He doesn't know what Hoya wanted to say, but he doesn't think he wants to know. It probably wouldn't have been an apology (not that he wanted one, he tells himself) and he doubts there was anything more the elder could have said to him.

He doesn't start the video for a moment, staring at the wallpaper of his laptop. It's a picture of Infinite before they were Infinite. Back then, they were just seven boys with a dream that they were so close to reaching. He glares at the happy faces of himself and Hoya, arms slung around each other. He wishes that they could go back to those days when they used to be close, but that can't happen. Wishes don't come true. He should know.

He clicks on the episode he needs to watch, covering the faces of everyone. He just wants to get away from reality for a moment and immerse himself in a world where Myungsoo isn't Myungsoo and where he doesn't play a part in anything at all but is simply a spectator.

As he glances at Hoya's back just before the opening credits end, he forcefully wipes away the lone tear that escapes his eye.

No, wishes don't come true. If they did, maybe Hoya would look at him sometimes.