{YOUR P.O.V}

I stared at the ceiling for a long time thinking of what I should do. Should I consider suicide? It's a faster way of ending what I'm about to face. I never knew it was possible to like and not like something at the same time. I want to live but at the same time I don't want to if the consequences are me dying anyway. 

There's no way out. It's like I'm destined to die. Out of all the people in this world this sickness chose me. Why me?

I want to cry but I'm not that type of person. To be honest, I want it to be like in the movies but I'm scared. What if I tell Wonshik and he leaves me instead of what I expect or rather want him to do? Taking risks is not in my vocabulary right now. Not when I'm dying. I'll tell him soon. Like I promised... or maybe I'll just wait til it's evident enough for him to notice by himself. Just now.. I realized that dying is easy and living through this is hard. Why can't I be normal?

I want to have my own family. I want to get married and have kids. I know now that's not going to happen. 

----

I walked around the campus with an hour left to spare before my next class. I sat on the grass under the tree and closed my eyes for a while when someone suddenly kissed my cheek and sat beside me. I opened an eye knowing it was Ravi. I smiled as I lightly nudged his side. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him and made me rest my head on his shoulder instead. I'm trying my best not to cry so I didn't talk and just hugged him instead.

"You know... If you have a problem you can always tell me right? It's just so frustrating that maybe I can help you if I knew." He said. But the thing is... He can't. He can't make me well. 

"You might leave me if you found out." I sighed. "That you have a lopsided ? Don't worry I really don't care about that." He said teasingly and I just hit his arm lightly. He kissed the side of my head and just kept quiet. Am I making it hard for him? It hurts me too bu