[Lee Jaejin’s POV]

It’s almost the end of the year. December. It’s very cold. The cold breeze of December was brushing through my cheeks. Snow continuously falling down like pieces of cotton.  The green lawn last spring was now freezing and white. The park was full of dazzling and twinkling Christmas lights like the stars. Everyone around me was happy and together with their love ones. While I was alone, standing there, looking up the twinkling stars that was visible at the dark night sky.

I remember her…

It’s as if she was looking at me. It’s as if she was smiling at me. The stars were like her eyes that are always twinkling. I miss her. Her voice. Her smile. Her everything!

Still hoping that she would be here beside me… holding my hand with her small fragile hand. Easing the pain that lingers in my heart. Warming me with her sweet warm hug.

It feels like it was just yesterday that she was there for me. It feels like she was just there smiling at me, and then slowly fading from my sight. I always thought… and ask myself… Why does she even need to leave me?... Leave me with such a very passionate goodbye? Wouldn’t it be better if she just hurt me instead of leaving me with such a goodbye?

My lips have started to freeze. I looked down as I restraint the tears from falling that has started to swell up in my eyes.

I looked back then walked away, passing through people that were around me. My surrounding was blurry. Time continues passing by. Those memories will continue lingering in my mind forever.

If she would have told me everything, she would be here beside me right now.  But she didn’t… and yet… And yet she was still smiling despite those suffering she’s feeling.

I miss her. I miss her so much.

As soon as I was in front of my car, I immediately opened it then went it. I sighed. I looked at the passenger’s seat. I can see her image there, smiling at me with her sweetest smile.

I shook my head, then started to fire the engine and then maneuvered wherever I can go just to forget about the past. And yet, her image was very clear. A year has already passed and yet why was she very clear in my mind?

Tears have started to swell up in my eyes again making the way blurry. Remembering how she said goodbye. Remembering those smiles despite how much she has suffered. Remembering how she struggled the words ‘I love you’ before leaving me.  Remembering how she invited me to have our last date with such a smile. I never knew that that was the last time I would be with her. I never knew that she was suffering with such sickness. I always thought that I should be the one who had those. I should be the one suffering, not her… But what can I do? She’s already gone. Forever. Forever and not coming back. Leaving me with such sadness and pain lingering inside me. Leaving me in this cruel world.

My way was blurry. I can’t see anything.

As I was driving… all I can see right now was light. A very bright light that was covering my way. I squinted my eyes, as I saw some figure. A very familiar figure. Is it her?

No. It can’t be right? She’s gone. Forever. She can’t be back.  Have I gone crazy?

I continued driving, not minding what I see, and yet the light continued blocking my way. It was very bright and far away. With my curiousness, I continued driving that way. Making my maneuvering faster.

“Jaejin…” A very familiar voice called. It was full with tenderness.

I knew it! It was her.

“Wait for me… I’m coming…” I mumbled.

“No… Don’t…” The voice called.

“I want to see you… I miss you…” I mumbled again, as I continued driving faster. The light was becoming more and more visible.

“Jaejin… Please… Don’t…” There it goes again as it continued answering me.

“I love you…I miss you… Please come back…” I muttered, as tears started to stroll down my cheek.

The snow has turned into a blizzard and I can’t see my way.

My driving has started to get faster and faster… and without knowing…

I bumped into something really hard. All I knew is that, everyone around me started panicking. I wonder what happened.

My vision has started to change and turning into pitch black. I can hear the shouts and screams around me.  I can also feel something warm strolling down my forehead. Why am I feeling dizzy?

Slowly… The light has started to fade, and I can see a figure standing right in front of me. I can feel its hand touching mine. My vision has started to turn into pitch black, and I can see nothing.

The blazing fire-like sun has started to set. I was standing with her. Hand in hand. Feeling each other’s warmth. She looked up to me with a smile. A smile that was full with sadness.

“Jaejin…” She called. I looked down to her with a smile, as I caressed her soft cheek.

“Why?...” I asked.

She leaned up to me, then placed a soft kiss. My eyes widened in shock, yet of course, I still responded to her kiss. I cupped her face to deepen the kiss. After a moment, she let go and I see her eyes was full with tears. “I love you…” She struggled as I notice that she was restraining her tears.

I don’t know why she’s suddenly telling these to me, but all I can do was to brush of the tear that has started to fall from her eyes.

“I love you too…” I answered.