9th June 2012

“Well like I said, I really got into the pelvic dance,” Eunhyuk winked.

Donghae chuckled, “You could at least pretend you were attracted by her talent or intellect or something,”

“The way she moves is a talent,” Eunhyuk replied stretching out on the sofa more comfortably.

“I give up,” his friend said shaking his head in mock disapproval.

Although Donghae was the more sensitive one between them and it probably wouldn't hurt to let him in on his more deeper feelings for the current subject of their conversation Eunhyuk had decided to play off his feelings as just  physical attraction.

He pulled out his phone, opened the browser and clicked on his history list. He scrolled down the list of previously opened pages and stopped when he saw the name of her twitter page. He glanced at Donghae and although his friend was busy channel surfing he turned the phone slightly away so that Donghae wouldn’t be able to peek at what he was searching he loaded her page up. 

“When was the last time you saw her anyway?” Donghae asked.

Eunhyuk groaned inwardly, Donghae was like a dog with a bone once he got an idea in his head, “Dream concert…”

“Oh really?” he paused looking a little thoughtful, “Did you talk?”

Eunhyuk clicked on her newest twitter update and as he waited for the picture to load looked up at Donghae, “Just the usual greetings, Leeteuk was with me when we met them getting ready to go on stage,”

Donghae nodded and turned back to the TV.

Her most recent tweet featured her eating a jjujjuba ice treat and looking thoroughly adorable while doing it. The caption on the image read, 'When it’s hot, as expected, jjujjuba!'

“Ah so cute,” he murmured.

“What?” Donghae turned to look at him.

“Uh, I didn’t say anything.”

Donghae fixed him with a suspicious look for a few seconds before turning his attention back to the TV screen.

It was hard to believe it had been almost two years since the day he’d first met her on the “Flower Bouquet” variety show. They hadn’t spoken much at all during the taping but just like every other guy on set he hadn’t really needed any words to be exchanged for an interest in her to spark. Needless to say, despite the PD attempting to make it seem as though her pelvic driven dance to Hyuna’s song “Change” was just a kkap dance, it had become popular due to its appeal.

As part of the show’s script he’d been required to give a flower bouquet to whichever female guest present he thought was interesting and he’d chosen her. Their eyes had met only for a moment as he’d handed her the bouquet, instead of the shy awed look he’d often come to expect from rookie group members she’d just looked at him straight in the eye and smiled in thanks before turning away to bow for the cameras.

There was a fierceness and self-assurance reflected in her eyes had caught him off guard for the brief moment their eyes had met. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she wasn’t the most popular member in her group, she spoke the least on the show amongst her members, it was like an unofficial rule company’s put in place, the visuals in the group were the talkers. He would know, after all his star had only in recent years began to shine.

He returned to her main profile page, focusing on the grey button to the right of the screen asking if he wanted to follow her page. He’d considered adding her for a few months now but the fact that they were in essence still little more than just acquaintance had stopped him. That and his more observant fans tended to keep a note of who he followed, which just made things all the more complicated.

‘Well you do greet each other at events,’ a small voice in the back of his head said, ’And the fans won’t notice one little extra follow.’

The former statement was true. They had met quite a number of times, exchanged greetings and talked on a few of those occasions. Their conversations had featured mainly generic stuff like, ‘how have you been?’ ‘I like your new song’ ‘I’m looking forward to your comeback’ but conversation was still conversation.

“What are you thinking so seriously about?” Donghae asked.

“Nothing,” Eunhyuk replied quickly closing his browser window.

Donghae laughed, “It’s funny how you still think I can’t read you after all these years.”

Eunhyuk looked up at his friend. That was the one drawback to having a friend who was almost like a brother, secrets were hard to keep. Donghae knew that he was casually interested in Hana at least in as far as finding here physically appealing but further than that, he was fairly certain his friend couldn’t know that he was actually interested in her on a more personal level. Heck, the realisation had been fairly recent to him actually.

He sighed, the look Donghae was giving him was slightly worrying.

“Really I was just looking at something on my twitter page.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And this something happened to be ‘ah so cute’?” Donghae imitated him with startling accuracy.

With Donghae, pretending you didn’t know what he was on about was often the best policy, “What?”

His friend smiled, “Hand me your phone,”

“Why?”

"Just hand it to me. Am I not allowed to be curious about what was so cute yet thought provoking on your page?” Donghae held his hand out.

“Look on your own phone!” Eunhyuk tucked the phone safely into his pocket.

“My phone’s in my room.”

“Go get it then.”

“It’s too far. Come on…show me, show me,” Donghae sang the last part wiggling his eyebrows.

“No.”

Silence.

“Why don’t you just add her? Or ask Sunwoo to find out her phone number for you?”

“What?”

“Pelvic Hana!”

“How did-” Eunhyuk paused midway realising the trap Donghae had set for him.

Donghae laughed, “Honestly, the only reason I cottoned  on to you liking her-”

“I don’t like her…I just think she’s interesting,”

“Okay, okay, the only reason I knew you thought she was interesting is because I’ve seen you checking out her page every day for the past few months.”

Eunhyuk’s brows furrowed, he hadn’t been on her page every day. Maybe every other day but definitely not every day.

“So… you and Jieun are off for good or is this just a phase?” Donghae asked, trying as hard for nonchalant.

Eunhyuk shrugged, “That’s her call I guess…”

“Hm…”

Eunhyuk clicked onto Hana’s homepage screen, idly scrolling through her previous posts.

“I know what I’m doing Hae…” he said after a moment’s pause.

“What are you doing?”

Eunhyuk paused. He didn’t really have an answer to the question. He thought of Jieun and their tumultuous on again off again relationship. Their relationship was all drama and passion…hot and heavy for a while before petering out to frigid cold where they were just completely terrible for each other. They'd break up "for good" and then they’d make up and it would be incredible again, for a short while anyway. But he’d had enough of that. He was sure of it.

His growing feelings for Hana were enough proof of that. So yeah he knew what he was doing.

“I’m moving on, that’s what I’m doing.”

Donghae smiled faintly, “That’s what you said last time, but…”

His friend didn’t need to finish, the last time he and Jieun had called it off, he’d sworn off a reconciliation on his grandmother’s grave, and as soon as she’d called him, he’d jumped back into bed with her, metaphorically and literally.

“Well, that was last time. It’s different now.”

“I hope so for Hana’s sake anyway.”

July 12th 2012

“Where are you off to so early in the morning?” Hana read aloud, “Comment from…AllRiseSilver. AllRiseSilver? Eunhyuk? EUNHYUK!”

Her heart did a little flip. She read through his comment again trying hard to fight off the giddy feeling welling up in her chest. Just last night she’d been thinking about him, thinking of finding some way to get in touch with him and now this morning like some twist of predestination he had commented on her picture.

‘Calm down, calm down, fan girl,’ she commanded herself, ‘Cool and composed.’

She typed in her reply, I’m just taking a walk around the park near our dorms. Why are you up so early?

A few moments later, his reply came through.

“Choco, my dog, woke me up. Taking a walk around the neighbourhood? It’s too early, you’re making the rest of us look bad!” she laughed at the angry face emoticon he added at the end of the message.

I’m an early riser! It’s a beautiful morning, you should take a walk too.

“It is a beautiful morning but I’d rather be in bed. Walk enough for me too?”

Oh…I need some incentive before I can agree to that.

It took her a much too long moment to realise the double meaning her reply and before she could erase the message and write a new one, he’d already replied.

“What kind? I’ll treat you to a nice meal,” Hana stopped in her tracks.

There was no amount of commands to be cool and calm that would allow her to be calm at this point. He was offering to buy her a meal? She tried to think of a non-plussed reply, something a cool city woman would write but the only thing she wanted to type was ‘when?’ Her reply was something of a cross between excited fan girl and cool city woman.

‘Really? In that case I’ll add an extra km.’

She walked across the walking track and settled down on park bench waiting for his reply with what could only be described as bated breath. Five seconds. Ten seconds. Fifteen seconds. A minute. Two minutes.

‘Why isn’t he replying?’ she wondered.

She refreshed her page. Nope, still no reply. She let out a long unsteady breath. How could she

She nearly jumped in surprise when her phone began to ring. Her heart seemed to rise and drop in an instant as she thought that he could be on the other end of the line but a hesitant glance down at her phone screen let her know it was her group's manager, Dongwoo.

Silly, how could he have your phone number?

Dongwoo's anxious voice came through as soon as she answered the call.

"Hana, where are you? I know you were supposed to be free this morning but you need to get back to the dorms. An opening on Come to Play just opened up."

Come to Play was an open formatted variety show hosted by two of Koreas top MCs. It was an honour for any celebrity to appear on the show.

"I thought Sunhwa and Hysoung do the big appearances," she stated, confused.

It was rare for variety shows to call for all four members of their group unless they were shows that were formatted for single group appearances, Come to Play tended to feature a number of guests at a time, which usually meant, Hyosung and Sunhwa the two more popular members of the group usually went for the shows.

"Yeah, we were going to send Sunhwa and Hyosung but the PD specially asked for you, so you and Sunhwa will go."

"...really?"

"Yes, really. Now hurry back, we don't want to be late."

Hana hung up the call, and stood up from the bench. The sun had only just come up and she'd already had two totally unexpected events occur all in the space of a few minutes. Eunhyuk...she shook thoughts of him from her head. He was an idol in an A-class group and she was in a B-class group, sure SECRET had become more popular of late but there was still so much distance between them.

As she walked towards the dorm she tried to focus on the schedule ahead but thoughts of Eunhyuk kept coming to the fore of her thoughts.

How she'd come to like the "anchovy" as his fans referred to him was still a mystery to her. The first time she'd officially met him was on the set of a variety show where she'd done a power dance, a dance that had apparently impressed him enough for him to give her the bouquet he'd been told to give to whoever had struck his interest.

At first, she'd thought he seemed like a nice person. She wasn't sure why he'd given her the flowers but she'd been touched. She hadn't felt anything for him then. She did remember absently thinking that he had amazing bone structure. But then he'd made a point to greet her at events and on the set of variety shows they happened to both feature in, the attention of a sunbae such as Eunhyuk had drawn attention to both her and the rest of her group and they'd got more attention from staff members and other idol groups as a result.

He was...nice. There just wasn't any other way to describe him. Their conversations were always short but ever so sweet. He'd ask if she'd eaten and tell her he was anxiously wait for their next comeback or compliment her on her performances.

She’d learnt early on that once you started feeling grateful towards a guy that was the time to turn and run in the opposite direction. But if there was one thing she was a er for it was a genuinely nice guy. Her feelings had grown from casual observer to fan to something a little more over time and now…well now she was screwed.

She shook her head and quickened her step. Now wasn't the time to day dream about her secret crush. She was still puzzled about the fact that the PD had specially requested her.

Just as she reached the dorm she glanced down at her phone screen and saw the new message icon on her twitter homepage flash. She clicked open her message screen. Her stomach did a little flip. It was Eunhyuk.

See you on set :) Fighting.

She read the simple message over three times before it hit her, like a tonne of bricks. Eunhyuk was an MC on Come to Play. He'd recently been brought onto the show.

The first thought to pop into her head was whether he had talked the PD into bringing her on the show.

No...it couldn't be. But why? Her heart had an answer but her head kept her from thinking in that particular direction. It was probably just a coincidence. He couldn't possibly have requested the PD to bring her on the show. Could he?

But once the idea was planted in her head, there was no turning back.

Was it possible that Eunhyuk liked her too?

But he was out of her league. The self-deprecating thought entered her head before she could stop it and she silently cursed herself. He was part of Super Junior, one of the country’s biggest super groups. It seemed farfetched that he’d approach her and not someone of equal stature. Someone in Girl’s Generation maybe…

She huffed in annoyance. Trust her to make a mountain out of a molehill. They’d just exchanged some banter over twitter and here she was practically planning the rest of their days out together.

Focus. That’s what she needed to do. But now with all the conflicting thoughts in her head she just knew she was going to do something to embarrass herself on the show. Then she'd have to quit show business and get the business degree her parents had always thought she'd pursue.

She took a deep calming breath in and then exhaled before walking into the building to find her manager waiting for her at the elevators. Well this was it.

Get it together girl, she thought before flashing her manager her best let’s get started smile.

 

"You did what?"

Eunhyuk's smile faded, "Was it a bad idea. Did I do wrong?"

A moment earlier he'd just explained how he'd talked the PD into bringing SECRET in as extra guests on the show. His attempt at a grand romantic gesture. A guest spot on TV’s most popular variety show.

"No..." Donghae said shaking his head, “It’s just you always play it safe and quiet. Engineering meetings like that is more Kangin's style."

Eunhyuk laughed thinking about how passionate Kangin, another member of their group, could get at times.

“I had my doubts about you and her but…you’re really serious about her aren’t you?”

“Yeah I am. I’d like to give this a shot.”

“Well I’d say you’ve started off on the right foot then.”

"She didn't reply to my message though..."

Donghae shrugged, "She's probably busy prepping for the show, which is what you should be doing too if I'm not wrong."

"Yeah I guess..." Eunhyuk nodded absently.

"Kids these days," Donghae said.

"What?"

"Playing so coy when you could just call her up and say, "I like you. Want to go on a secret date in my car?""

"Remind me who took half a year just to work up the courage to confess his feelings to a certain special someone?"

"That was different. Besides Hyoyeon had already turned me down once before, I was scared she'd do it again."

Eunhyuk shook his head, "She turned you down the first time because you drunk texted her a picture of your abs with the oh so clever caption, "You like?" Hardly your best line."

His group mate had the good grace to blush. He and Hyoyeon had been going out for over two years now but the beginning of their relationship had been one rocky ride.

"Touché my friend. That was definitely not the most romantic way to confess my feelings. Go, now, before you're late."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," Eunhyuk chuckled.

"By the way, what exactly are you planning to say to her."

Eunhyuk paused and pulled up his shirt, flashing his abs, "You like?" he quipped.

He had to dodge a pillow thrown at him by a flustered Donghae as he made his way to the door.

What was he going to say? He wondered.

Despite his early assertion that he was moving on from Jieun he wasn't even sure what his feelings were. Yes he thought she was attractive. And funny. And down to earth, so different from the crop of highbrow and high maintenance girls he'd been running into lately. They had similar interests and taste in music, which was always a good thing he’d found. She was quiet and soft spoken at press conferences and not a stage hog who wanted all the attention on herself (a trait he could quite easily say was lacking in his profession) while at the same time her stage presence was amazing, she could go from adorable to scorching hot in the span of a moment.

He groaned. What was he doing? He didn’t usually overthink this kind of stuff. She was a girl. He was a guy. He had feelings. All he could do was put himself out there and hope she had feelings for him too.

As he climbed into the company van scheduled to take him to SBS studios his phone rang, a specific ring tone assigned to one particular person. He glanced down at the phone and read the caller ID even though he already knew who was on the other side of the line. Just the sight of her name set his heart racing.

He silenced the call and tossed the phone onto the seat beside him. Immediately he felt a weight settle in the pit of his stomach.

What was he doing?

 

The studio audience cheered as she and Sunhwa were introduced and she knew she ought to be paying attention to the cues from the production staff but her eyes roved over the stage where the other guests and the MCs were already settled. Searching for him. She nearly missed her cue to introduce herself but Sunhwa nudged her slightly and she managed to get a quick hello and her name in.

“Is something up? You totally spaced for a minute there…” Sunhwa’s spoke out of the corner of .

“No, I’m good. Just froze for a second.”

Just as she was settling into her seat she spotted him out of the corner of her eye. He flashed her a smile and she felt her heart stop for an instant. Blushing, she turned away and focused on Yoo Jae Sook, Come to Play’s main MC. She laughed faintly at the joke he told, following the PD’s cues even though she hadn’t really heard the punch line or the entire joke for that matter.

She could feel his eyes on her, seemingly watching her every move. He made her nervous but it was a tingly kind of nervous that left her excited one moment and apprehensive the next. She and Sunhwa answered some questions concerning their next come back. They hinted that it would be a y concept showing a different, more mature, side to them. Sunhwa made a comment about her most recent appearance on the reality show “We got Married” and joked about her whacky on screen husband before the attention shifted from them. She relaxed for a moment only to find her gaze wandering to Eunhyuk again.

He mouthed something to her and forgetting where they were she raised her eyebrows and mouthed “What?” back to him.

“Get ready.”

Her eyebrows rose again, get ready? Ready for what? She wondered.

Before she could think anymore though, a familiar song began to blast from the studio sound system. Hyuna’s “Change”. She knew what was coming even before Kim Won Hee, the other half of the show’s main MC duo introduced it.

“Everyone it’s that time of the show!” the MC paused as fan girls cheered in the background, “Eunhyuk’s Corner…featuring special guest star SECRET’s Jung Hana!”

Hana saw three of the studio cameras shift to her and she smiled vaguely. Get ready, he’d said, but for what…? Was she supposed to dance? Was she supposed to clap? Sing? Rap

Eunhyuk then sprung to his feet and slid across the dance floor in his signature gliding move towards her. He held out his hand and without thinking she put her hand in his. He pulled her up out of the chair. She cast a look back at Sunhwa, who only grinned and started to clap along to the beat of the song.

“Just do what you do best,” his breath tickled her ear, sending a shiver down her spine, as he leaned down to whisper, “Go with the flow.”

She followed his lead and together they improvised a dance that seemed, to those watching, as though they’d rehearsed many times before hand. The song started out with “Change” but quickly shifted through 4 different songs. Two slow and two upbeat. Thinking of the dance routines she and her friends had put on at the various festivals they’d performed at before she had debuted and working them to follow his lead, they tore up the floor.

“You’re a natural,” he said as they did a synchronized body wave, “Just a few more beats, five, four…” he counted off just as he’d done to let her know when the tempo and rhythm changes would come in the songs he’d picked out.

She didn’t reply, instead she pulled away from him and pushed him away, timing the move to the end of the song. As soon as the audio faded away the audience erupted in cheers and Hana felt her legs go wobbly underneath her. She looked at Eunhyuk who seemed to be doing his best to hide his surprise by her impromptu shove and winked.

His shoulders slumped in relaxation as he realised she wasn’t really upset. He smiled back at her, a devastating smile that froze her to the spot she was standing. He walked slowly toward her and when he got close enough to her, reached for her hand, intertwining their fingers. The touch of skin on skin shaking her from her monetary trance. He turned to the audience and bowed while she curtsied.

“Everyone, the one and only Jung Hana!” he announced, “Thank you!”

“Thank you,” she intoned with equal energy

The show cut away to a commercial as they separated and walked back to their respective seats.

Hana could feel the attention of the entire studio focused on her. It was odd feeling so many people watching her. She’d stood in front of audiences of 10,000 plus people but the attention always seemed to be focused on other members of the group.

Not that she minded. Her dream had always been to perform, it was the thrill of doing her best on stage that drove her not being the centre of attention. Now though, the entire audience seemed to alternate between staring at her and Eunhyuk. But the vibe she got was good. It warmed her and she couldn’t help smiling.

“That was great!” Sunhwa whispered to her.

“Thanks!” she held up her hands, “My hands are trembling though!”

Whether the shaking in her hands was because of the rush of the impromptu performance or the electric feeling of Eunhyuk’s hands on her she wasn’t sure. Sunhwa gave her a brief hug.

“Well, you were totally amazing out there!”

The show came back from the commercial and the studio fell silent.

“Wow! What an amazing performance! Do we perhaps have a new contender for the dancing queen title?” Yoo Jae Sook asked.

“I definitely think so!” Eunhyuk replied, “We… didn’t practice for that routine.”

The audience gasped in surprise.

Kim Won Hee turned to Hana, “Eh? You mean that wasn’t pre-planned?”

“I was just as surprised as everyone else when he glided over here,” she confessed.

“As expected of a professional!” the MC commended her to more applause from the audience.

The show carried on to the next segment.

Despite herself Hana couldn’t help but feel pleased, it wasn’t even noon but she was already feeling like she’d had enough good fortune to last her a month of Sundays. She knew the feeling well. She wasn’t just happy about the performance and the reaction to it. The reason for the giddy feeling coursing through her was seated across the room cracking jokes with a fellow guest.

But she wondered what Eunhyuk’s end game was. Did he like her? Was that why he had done that? But he had someone he was seeing. She was sure she’d heard something like that from a stylist before. Well, rather overheard a conversation between two stylists from his entertainment agency while at SBS studios. According to them he was dating an extremely popular solo artist.

Then why? A kind sunbae giving an admired hoobae her proverbial 15 minutes of fame?

Eunhyuk tried to focus on the show, they had another 25 minutes to go. He felt as though everyone could see through him and his interest in Hana but he didn’t care. Their dance had electrified him. He didn’t know why he’d been sure she’d go along with it or why he’d known she’d do so well. Pulling a stunt like that on a live show was daring. And he didn’t do daring that often, he did safe. That was why he’d avoided scandals for so long.

She wouldn’t meet his gaze though, something he found both cute and annoying. Did it mean she was into him too and was feeling shy around him or was she just not interested and was finding him unnerving?

He needed to get her alone, away from the cameras and lights. He’d decided to just confess his feelings. The old, “I like you” staple would have to do because that really was the only way to describe his feelings.

The remaining twenty odd minutes of the show’s run time seemed to drag on endlessly but at last Yoo Jae Sook and Kim Won Hee made their closing comments and the PD called for a wrap of the shoot.

The bright overhead lights dimmed and the studio was filled with the buzz of chatter as audience members were escorted out by ushers and managers and assistants and other staff members flooded onto the set to take their charges away to their dorms or next schedules.

He walked towards her-glad she was standing only with one of her group mates- taking advantage of the commotion around them to whisk her away.

“Follow me,” he said simply, taking hold of her hand and pulling her after him backstage.

He led her past the guest dressing rooms and to the second floor where the MC’s dressing rooms were. The halls were peppered with only a few staff members most of whom didn’t pay them much heed, with the things that went on backstage they were probably tame in comparison.

A security guard near Kim Won Hee’s dressing room gave them a curious glance but walked on past them.

Only once they were inside his dressing room did he let go of her hand. He stood before her and his breath hitched in his throat as he took her in. Burnished red hair tumbling over her shoulders, smoky eyes wide with confusion, glossed lips, he didn’t let his eyes wander any lower. How many times had he watched her on her TV appearances both cursing and blessing her stylist for the short form fitting outfits she always seemed to wear?

He placed his hands lightly on her shoulders, her questioning gaze shifted to his hands then back up at him, lips parted in question. Before he could stop himself he leaned down and kissed her, his arms snaking around her waist and pulling her up against him. The feel of her body, soft and warm against him, the taste of her lips sweet and soft heated him up beyond reason. The way she responded to him made him weak in the knees. He hadn’t guessed that she might like him too, that she might want him too.

Her hands, trembling, pressed flat against his chest and she pushed him away slightly.

She broke the kiss long enough to call, no, breathe his name out, “Hyukjae…”

His real name. He only moaned in reply and kissed her again loving how she melted against him when he angled his hips against her and grinded into her.

“This isn’t how I intended this to go,” he confessed breathily against her ear, smiling as she shivered against him, “I had a speech planned…”

“What kind of speech?” she asked softly, kissing the corner of his lips.

He twirled a single soft curl of her hair in his fingers.

“A confession of my feelings for you,” he whispered, “I don’t know if you can tell…” he laughed lightly, “But I like you.”

She pulled away slightly and looked up at him, eyes searching his. She was quiet for what seemed like an eternity.

Although he'd been sure of her feelings a moment before her silence threw him. A strange oppressive little panic filling his chest and Eunhyuk broke the silence, “Hey, you don’t have to give me a reply right away…”

She rested her head on his chest and her shoulders began to shake. It took him a moment to realise she was laughing.

“I think I already gave you my reply,” she smiled.

He cocked his head to the side, “I’m a little slow…”

“I like you too.”

He hugged her close to him, resting his chin over her head.

Hana’s heart beat so wildly in her chest she was sure he could hear it, or was that his heart? They were so close, she couldn’t tell.

How could a day that had started out so ordinarily have turned out so extraordinarily? He smelled so good and felt so good and the moment was so perfect she didn’t want to pull away from him, fearing this might all be some vivid fantasy. But he felt warm and solid in her arms and she knew it was real. This was real.

He made a move to pull away from her but she held him close, “One more minute?”

He gave her a little squeeze and chuckled, his warm laugh reverberating through her, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Eunhyuk’s phone bearing three missed calls and two text messages rang again. In the back pocket of his jeans the vibration was only faintly audible but it drew Eunhyuk out from the intimate moment. His attention wavered only because he knew who was calling. Because he knew that despite his hardest attempts to resist the temptation he was going to call her back when he got home later.