10 Days before Wedding Day.

Time stopped when he saw her sitting in another man’s lap. She didn’t see him at first, she just laughed at whatever he was telling her. That laugh he saw many times before but never failed to make him hysterically laugh along in response until this moment. Changmin froze when her eyes (finally) met his. She looked confused at first, then recognition hit her and her smile immediately disappeared to be replaced with a frown.

“This is my cousin’s future wife, Yoona” Victoria told him, wiggling and clapping happily as she eyed the couple sitting next to the pool, “She’s so pretty, right?”

 “Very,” Changmin agreed.

Yoona was wearing a simple white t-shirt and black shorts. Still likes comfortable clothes, noted Changmin with a faint smile that only lasted for a few seconds. Her boyfriend—her fiancée was also wearing a white t-shirt and black sweat pants. They’re matching.

Probably Yoona’s idea of telling the world that they belong to each other. Didn’t change at all, Changmin thought as he shook his head. And I still analyze everything about her… Maybe I didn’t change that much either.

“The one she’s practically sitting on is my cousin. They look so happy together, don’t they?” Victoria said as she looked at him warmly, “I hope, one day, we’ll be like that too”

Changmin wasn’t paying attention to what his girlfriend was saying. He knew he loved Victoria and he wouldn’t be here without her but he also knew he didn’t like seeing Yoona with another man.

“Changmin,”

His eyes never left Yoona’s and all he thought at that moment was she grew up beautifully.

“Changmin!”

Yoona looked uncomfortable with his public staring and he didn’t like it either but he just couldn’t tear his eyes away. It’s like his brain is sending messages to his eyes telling them to look up--down--anywhere else but the eyes won’t listen. They can’t listen.

“Hello,” Victoria stepped in his line of vision, blocking Yoona, so he had to eye her, a little disturbed.

“Sorry,” he said, breaking out in an unconvincing smile, “I’m just really tired.”

“Come on, let me introduce you to them then I’ll show you your room so you can rest,” Victoria said as she held his hand, taking them to the very first person who made his heart beat.

“We’re not interrupting something, are we?”  Victoria said to the pair as Yoona tried to get up from her fiancée’s lap but he refused to let her go.

“Don’t be shy now Yoong, we’re getting married next week, this is nothing,” her fiancée teased and Yoona pinched his nose playfully, momentarily forgetting that Changmin and Victoria were touring over them.

“Well…” Victoria interrupted them then chuckled when she saw her cousin’s annoyed expression, “I’ll leave you alone soon, I promise, I just want you to meet my boyfriend, Changmin”

It took Changmin a few good seconds to realize she was talking about him so by the time he managed to compose a friendly smile, Victoria introduced the fiancée.

“Changmin, this is my cousin, Donghae” Victoria introduced, “And this,” his heart skipped a beat as he and Yoona exchanged looks one more time, “is Yoona, his fiancée”

“Hey,” Changmin said.

“Hi,” Yoona said, smiling a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes then looked away quickly.

“Okay then, we’ll leave you guys to be all lovey dovey again!” Victoria said then looked at Changmin adoringly, “My boyfriend and I have other things to do too,”

Donghae wooowed as Victoria pulled Changmin (unwillingly) away.

Changmin wanted to stop this marriage.

He wanted Yoona to stop seeing this man.

But, he knew if he wanted Yoona, he’d have to give up Victoria. And he’d never do that.

What Changmin was feeling as he looked back at Yoona and Donghae laughing together again is confused, he didn’t know what he wanted. Or who he wanted as a matter of fact.

He was completely lost.

*******

Knock. Knock.

Changmin heard the door knocking but he didn’t reply. He knew who it was. Victoria, the one he thought was the love of his life, was calling him down for dinner.

“Changmin, are you there?” she called.

“I’m changing,” Changmin said too softly for anyone to hear him but she heard him. She had always heard everything he said.

“I’ll wait for you so we can go together for dinner,” she said.

Victoria had always been too kind for him to actually deserve her. When he was lost with no money two years ago, she was there when it was his fault he was homeless to start with. She took him in despite her two roommates’ protests. The next day he had a job, was back in university and had a place to go back to after lectures were over.

“I’m coming,” Changmin said, finally getting up.

When he opened the door, she was there with her dazzling smile.

“You’re coming in those clothes?” Victoria asked. He looked at his jeans and t-shirt.

“Yeah. Something’s wrong with my clothes?”

“No,” she smiled and held his hand, “I just thought you’d wear something more formal.”

“Should I change?” he asked. She shook her head.

“No, you look good, let’s go, prince Changmin” she said, giving him a smile he knew he didn’t deserve. “If you wore a suit, all other girls would be looking at you anyways. I don’t want to share my prince with anyone!”

Changmin finally smiled back genuinely as if he deserved to. Victoria grinned when she noticed he smiled his real smile now. She liked making him smile. He decided that it’s best for him to try and stay away from Yoona until he and Victoria go back to their University and go on with their lives. Yoona looked very happy with Donghae too so he had no right to be confused.

*******

The odds, however, were not in Changmin’s favor because the moment he entered the hall with everyone sitting on one big rectangular table, Victoria took a seat facing Yoona and Donghae.

“I’m so hungry!” he heard Yoona telling Donghae.

Didn’t change at all, did you now, Yoong? Changmin thought with a smile, forgetting about the decision he made a few minutes ago.

“So, what’re we eating?” Victoria asked.

Yoona seemed to have made the same decision as Changmin because she, too, didn’t acknowledge his presence when he sat across from her.

“Good stuff,” Donghae answered, patting his soon-to-be-wife’s head proudly. “Yoona herself was in charge of making the meal so it’ll be good,”

I hope your cooking improved, Yoong thought Changmin. Oh how much he wanted to but he knew he had to control himself for her (and his) sake.

“It better be good because Changmin, here, is very picky when it comes to eating,” Victoria said.

“Oh I’m sure he’ll eat it. This man can eat anything” Yoona said before she could stop herself. Changmin looked up, alarmed by the fact she still remembers something about him. He noticed her cheeks were getting pink, “like Donghae,” she added before Victoria and Donghae got the chance to say anything, “men eat everything, Victoria, you see”

Everyone including Changmin laughed.

“For a second, I thought you knew Changmin very well” Victoria laughed.

“Yeah…haha” Yoona said uneasily, avoiding eye contact with Changmin who was looking at her, amused.

 It seems like your cooking skills aren’t the only thing that improved, Your lying also improved, Changmin thought as he looked at Yoona was looking at her hands that were tightly clasped in her lap, still, I’m glad you remember.

“But, honey, you eat everything also” Donghae replied, “It’s going to cost me a lot after we’re married. I’m already worried about my bills as it is”

Yoona slapped his shoulder, “You still have time. Do you want to cancel out this marriage and save yourself?”

“Never,” Donghae said and kissed her forehead.

“Aw” Victoria looked at them admiringly, “How sweet.”

Donghae grinned while Yoona shyly smiled and stuck her tongue out. Changmin suppressed the urge to give her a bear hug. She’s too cute.

“So, Changmin, how did you get Qian to go out with you?” Donghae asked, “She doesn’t easily fall for guys”

“I didn’t do anything. She was the one chasing after me,” Changmin shrugged his shoulders playfully.

“Yeah,right.,You were the one who was shouting ‘I said I love you! Give me a chance, please!’ when you were drunk, remember?” Victoria retorted. Changmin saw Yoona look at him with an amused look, like she didn’t believe Changmin did that.

“I wasn’t in my right state of mind,” Changmin said, earning another pout from his girlfriend.

“They say guys say the name of the girl they like when they’re drunk,” Donghae said, grinning, “You must really like her.”

“He does!” Victoria said, grinning and wrapping a hand around Changmin’s shoulder.

“Well…” Changmin pretended to scratch his head and Victoria lightly pushed him away.

“How mean!” Victoria said, pouting again.

“Yah, you better not hurt my cousin,” Donghae said half-joking half-serious.

“I would never,” Changmin said although he knew he wasn’t sure.

“The food’s here,” Yoona said too calmly, Changmin knew she wasn’t as enthusiastic as she wanted to sound just by her tone.

In a few minutes, the table was filled with food and the gossiping stopped momentarily as everyone admired the great display of dishes that Yoona personally chose.

“The rice and beans is perfect, Yoona!” Donghae exclaimed happily, “You’re going to make a great wife”

Yoona chuckled at his words and as she did,  her eyes darted to Changmin who was about to start eating the french cake.

 “No!” Yoona screamed as she stood up and snatched the fork from Changmin’s hand.

“This one has peanuts. You can eat the vanilla ones,” she breathed heavily.

The hall was quite as everyone eyed Yoona, who was starting to feel her palms sweating badly. In Changmin’s case, the fact Yoona saw him ready to eat the cake meant that she was looking at him all this time—that she was aware of him. At this thought, his heart started to jump in (surprise) joy, but of course, he didn’t let it show on his face. He tried to look as indifferent—uncaring as always for Yoona’s (and Victoria’s) sake. He felt bad for Yoona, who was looking extremely nervous and he wished he could say something to save her from this embarrassment.

“Sorry for scaring you like that,” she said to Changmin, a minute later as everyone around them listened for her explanation, “I just remembered when we met earlier in the laundry room and I told you I helped prepare the food then you said you were allergic to peanuts”

Changmin saw her eyes begging him to play along and of course, he did.

“Ah…thanks, Yoona-ssi” Changmin said, the “ssi” part sounding very foreign to his tongue. “you saved my life”

Yoona managed to smile at him as she sat back down and everyone around the table went back to their little chats. Victoria and Donghae were quite though, each of them studying their partners closely.

Victoria was nice, kind, understanding, but she wasn’t a stupid woman. And neither was Donghae a stupid man.

They knew Changmin and Yoona weren’t just mere strangers like they said they were, they knew there was something more than that just by the looks they shared when Yoona was nervous. That worried look Changmin had on and the way Yoona’s eyes seemed to ask him for help. No, they were definitely not strangers.

Fortunately though, neither Victoria nor Donghae confronted their lovers that night.

*********

7 Years Ago, Freshmen Year.

“Welcome to Jinyeol High School, I’m your English teacher, Ms.Lee. I’ll call your names, you say here and introduce yourself to the class, easy enough?” said Ms.Lee to her new students. Ms.Lee was a young teacher in her late twenties. She was humorous but firm at the same time making her the favorite of many students.

“Hwang Miyoung,” called Ms.Lee.

“Here!” said Minyoung, standing up, “Hi, My name is Stephanie Hwang. Miyoung is my Korean name and I don’t really like it… so please call me Tiffany. I like fashion, pink and shoes. My hobby is singing. I’m still new to korea so my Korean isn’t very good yet so if I say something improper please correct me and know that I’m not trying to offend you…And that’s it”

Ms.Lee continued to call her students’ names in order. Many, made, their classmates and teachers laugh by their introduction.

“Hi, My name is Kim Hyoyeon. 15 years old and I’m single!” Hyoyeon, who was with no competition the funniest student in their graduating class had said.

“Im Yoon Ah,” Ms.Lee called.

Changmin looked up from his seat, remembering the elementary school friend that moved to another city before they started middle School.

“Hello, my name is Im Yoona,” Yoona said, as bright as ever. Her hair had grown long and she lost some of her baby fat since the last time Changmin had seen her but she still had the same doe eyes and tan skin, “I moved to Busan when I was in 6^th grade but now I’m back in Seoul with my father and older sister. I like dancing, making new friends, traveling and cooking. I want to be either a chief or a dancing teacher when I grow up.”

Ms.Lee nodded and the students clapped then Yoona sat back down.  The teacher called more names until she finally reached Changmin.

“Shim Changmin,” Ms.Lee ca;;ed. He noticed Yoona turned to look at him, recognition in her eyes as she smiled at him. He didn’t smile back though.

Changmin stood up, “Hi, I’m Changmin. Nice to meet you”

Then he sat down.

“Well…” Ms.Lee eyed him curiously, “What do you like to do in your free time, Changmin?”

“Nothing,” he replied.

“Okay. What do you do after school?”

“Nothing,” he repeated.

“What do you want to do when you grow up?”

“Nothing,” Changmin echoed.

“Okay…we’ll try again some other time.” Ms.Lee said, “Shin Sunye”

********

“Hey,” a doe-eyed girl said to Changmin who was sleeping on the desk.

He raised his eyebrows, showing her that he was listening and that if there was anything she wanted to say, she should say it.

“Do you remember me?” Yoona asked, hopeful.

“Nope,” Changmin answered.

“I’m Yoona…does my name sound familiar?”

“Not at all,” Changmin replied, making it obvious that he was annoying.

“Well…We were friends in Elementary school…so…I kinda thought you would remember me,” Yoona tried again.

“I don’t remember you,” Changmin stated clearly.

Much to Changmin’s shock, Yoona didn’t seem to mind his attitude and sat on the desk next to him.

“It’s okay,” Yoona said, “So, which middle school did you go to?”

“None of your business” Changmin said.

“Do you like it over here?”

“Leave me alone”

“Do you think the classes are difficult? ‘cuz I think so. I especially hate algebra”

“Go away.”

“It’s not that I hate math, it’s just Mr.Kim isn’t very good at explaining, I suppose”

“Didn’t I make it obvious enough that I don’t want to participate in this conversation?” Changmin asked, raising his voice.

“Fine. Your loss,” Yoona said, fed up herself as she followed her friends to the cafeteria.

**********

“I invited a friend over today,” Kyuhyun said as he the PlayStation for him and his best friend to play with.

“Okay,” Changmin said, indifferent.

“It’s a girl,” Kyuhyun said, “She’s really cute too”

“What’re you trying to say?” Changmin said, looking at the back of his friend who was setting up the game.

“What I’m saying is, you’ve never had a girlfriend” Kyuhyun said, finally turning to look at his friend.

“I don’t want a girlfriend, dude. They’re a pain in the ,” Changmin sighed.

“Look, if you’re…different. Just tell me okay?” Kyuhyun said, dead serious.

Changmin laughed, “I’m not attracted to guys in any way, Cho Kyuhyun, if that’s what you’re implying”

“Then what’s wrong with you?” Kyuhyun asked.

“Nothing is wrong with me,” Changmin insisted, “I just don’t want a goddamn girlfriend, Kyuhyun. That’s it.”

Kyuhyun opened his mouth, ready to voice out yet another remark of his but then someone knocked on the door and he jumped, excited.

“She’s here!” Kyuhyun said, “Her name is Sunny and she’s really cute. At least be nice to her, Okay?”

“Whatever.” Changmin rolled his eyes.

Kyuhyun came into the living room a few moments later with two girls following behind him.

“Hi,” they both said and Changmin heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Changmin,” Yoona said when looked up to her. He saw it in her eyes that, she too, was surprised to see him there but that didn’t stop him from saying what he said next.

“Are you stalking me now?” Changmin asked.

“You wish,” Yoona said, sitting next to him.

“Hey be nice to Yoona,” the blonde petite girl said as she sat on the floor, grabbing the remote control off the carpet.

“Don’t tell me you girls want to play too,” Changmin said, not suppressing a smirk. Kyuhyun sent him a death glare and he shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

“Yes they do, Changmin. I’ve seen Sunny playing and I guarantee you, she’s a real threat” Kyuhyun said, sitting next to Sunny and grabbing the other remote control. “I barely won against her last time”

“And you’re not going to win this time,” Sunny said with a grin.

Yoona and Changmin watched Sunny and Kyuhyun playing closely. Changmin had to admit, Sunny wasn’t that bad. Okay, she wasn’t bad at all. She was pretty good actually…for a girl, Changmin added.

Much to his shock though, Sunny ended up winning the first round.

“You got owned!” Sunny cheered, holding up the remote control in victory.

“I’ll win the second round,” Kyuhyun said, genuinely bitter and embarassed.

“I’m not playing anymore,” Sunny stuck out her tongue to him, “Yoona, you can take it from here now”

“Wait, that’s not fair!” Kyuhyun groaned.

“Life isn’t fair, my friend,” Sunny said happily, getting up so Yoona can take her place.

“Good job, Unnie” Yoona said and hi-fived her friend before sitting on the spot that was accompanied by Sunny a few seconds ago.

“Move, Kyu. I’ll play now” Changmin said, looking at Yoona with a broad rare grin.

“Sure...” Kyuhyun said, breaking into a knowingly smile. It’s not every day that you see Changmin interested in playing against a girl.

**********

1 Year Later.

Yoona opened her family’s front door to a nervous-looking Changmin.

“Hey,” he said, hands in his pockets.

“Hello there,” Yoona greeted him curiously.

“Can you help me study Biology II? It’s really confusing me,” Changmin said. Biology II was hard and confusing but Changmin knew deep within him that the reason he came was to see Yoona who he haven’t met in a whole week because it was the week before midterms and their school gave them that week off to study. They were supposed to meet at Kyuhyun’s yesterday to play like they did every other week but Yoona had excused herself, saying she had to study. So the next day, Changmin found himself standing in front of Yoona’s front wooden door.

In other words, Changmin wanted to see her. He missed her.

Yoona smiled to him, “Sure, Come in”

“Who is it, Yoona?” Yoona’s Dad called from the living room.

“It’s my friend, Dad” Yoona called back.

Changmin followed Yoona into the living room, looking terrified. He clearly remembered that Mr.Im wasn’t very fond of him when he was little.

“Hello, I’m Shim Changmin, Yoona’s classmate,” Changmin introduced himself once he was in, crossing his fingers that the older man wouldn’t recognize him.

“You’re Changmin? Holy cow you have gotten a lot bigger since the last time I’ve seen you!” Mr.Im exclaimed.

“Well, Changmin doesn’t remember you, Dad. He doesn’t even remember me,” Yoona said, eying Changmin suspiciously.

“You don’t?” Mr.Im asked, raising his eyebrows.

“No,” Changmin lied.

“That’s unfortunate, I’ve always thought you had a good healthy brain” Mr.Im said, “Well…guess not”

Yoona chuckled at this as Changmin cursed himself inside for lying. Even he didn’t know why he pretended to not remember Yoona.

“Anyways, you kids go study upstairs and I’ll bring in some of the leftover cake Yoona made, alright?” Mr.Im offered.

“Thanks Dad,” Yoona said, already climbing the stairs.

************

“I still don’t get it!” Changmin whined after a few minutes.

“There’s nothing to get, Changmin! It’s simple. All you have to do is know the difference between an animal and a plant cell, what organelles each have and what are the organelles’ functions. It’s not that hard!” Yoona said, frustrated.

“Like that’s easy!” Changmin rolled his eyes.

“Well…you just have to memorize them! I can explain them to you but you have to memorize them yourself!” Yoona groaned.

“You guys really need a break,” Mr.Im’s voice echoed into the room. He was standing in the doorway with two cupcakes and hot coco in his hands.

Yoona sighed, “You’re right, Dad. We do need a break”

Mr.Im grinned as he placed the food in front of Changmin and Yoona, who both looked more than ready to eat.

“Hope you like the food, Changmin” Yoona’s Dad said as he excused himself from the room.

“I’m so hungry,” Changmin muttered as he grabbed the cake with his hand. He looked very childish to Yoona but she didn’t mind. She liked this side of him too.

After the first bite though, his face and ears turned bloody red and he started to sweat.

“Are you okay?” Yoona asked, genuinely worried.

“How did you make this cake?” Changmin asked.

“What?” she half-said half-whispered as Changmin’s eyes closed.

He opened his eyes again though, to stare at her coldly­­—weakly.

“Did I just eat anything that has peanut?” Changmin mumbled, taking heavy breathes.

“Well yes… I used peanut butter for the frosting…”

“Perfect,” Changmin said, his voice low and soft, “Just perfect. I’m allergic to peanuts, you idiot. How can you forget that?”

Something ticked in Yoona’s memory. She remembered Changmin reminding her that he’s allergic to peanuts back when they were kids.

“Oh my god, Changmin. I am so sorry, I’ll tell my Dad to take you the hospital now!”

“I hate hospitals, did you forget that too?”

“Urgh…What should I do” Yoona panted, standing up, “I can’t just leave you like that!”

Changmin continued to look at her, blinking here and there, unable to say anything.

“How about this,” Yoona said urgently, already on her way towards the door “you lay on my bed and I’ll go call our neighbor, he’s a doctor. I don’t think he’s working today…I’ll go call him and get back to you, Okay?”

“No, don’t go,” Changmin called.

“Why?” Yoona asked, worried.

“Because I don’t want you to go” Changmin replied.

“Why?” Yoona asked again.

“Because I lied when I said I don’t remember you,” Changmin breathed out, his voice getting fainter the more he talked.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t like liking people, it’s not my…thing” Changmin’s voice was barely audible.

“Why?” Yoona pressed.

“Stop that!” Changmin’s voice suddenly rose.
 

“Why?” Yoona said, almost sheepishly. Changmin’s breathing fastened and his eyes closed peacefully. Yoona nudged his arm harshly.

“Changmin! Hey Changmin! Are you okay?!” Yoona shouted. “Dad! Dad!”

“What’s wrong?” yoona’s dad asked as he rushed into the room.

“Call Doctor Choi please! Changmin isn’t feeling okay!”

Mr.Im nodded and urgently exited the room.

“Changmin, can you hear me?” Yoona held his hand in hers.

“This feels good,” Changmin smirked as he his eyes fluttered open.

“Why?” Yoona asked, serious.

“I don’t know,” Changmin closed his eyes again but he was still conscious for he added, “Do you feel it’s good too?”

Yoona hesitated before whispering, “Yes”

“Why?” Changmin asked as a smile crept its way to his lips.

Yoona looked down at their interlocking hands. “Because I like you”

“Ah…I guess it means that I like you too then” Changmin said, looking at her as she avoided eye contact.

Yoona smiled a shy, happy, smile, “Yeah…I guess”

“I suppose, I can’t kiss you now, with my condition,” Changmin sighed, gazing at her. Yoona looked up to him, grinning from ear to ear.

“No you can’t” she said firmly, “But I can kiss you”

Changmin was faintly surprised as Yoona leaned in to him and their lips met, it was a soft and a tender one for both of them were inexperienced.

It was their first kiss.

***********

1 Year Later

“Hello?”

“Hi, Yoona”

“Why didn’t you answer my calls? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for the past 2 weeks”

“I was busy,”

“Busy doing what?”

“Don’t be too nosey now, Yoona”

“Changmin,”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to go for a date? It’s been 2 months since we last went on one.”

“When?”

“How about Friday?”

“I’m going to play soccer with Junsu hyung and the boys.Sorry”

“It’s okay, how about Saturday?”

“I’m going to Busan with my parents to meet my grandma, Sorry”

“Okay…Sunday?”

“I’m going to be busy the whole week,”

“Ah..,okay”

“I’m sorry,”

“Are you, really?”

“What’re you trying to say?”

“….”

“Yoona,”

“Nothing, Changmin. Good bye.”

“Bye”

************

“Hey, Yoona”

“Oh, it’s you”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,”

“Okay,”

“….”

“There’s something that I want to tell you. No, something that I have to tell you”

“….”

“You know…it’s not the same between us anymore, right?”

“….”

“Maybe…it’s not working out, Maybe, we’re not right for each other”

“….”

“What do you think?”

“….”

“Are you there?”

“I’m listening, Changmin”

“Okay…”

“Okay…”

“Good bye then,”

“Changmin, wait!”

“….”

“Don’t leave me. Please. Just…just give it sometime. Maybe it’s just…just something that can get better with time. Please, don’t waste our love. I loved you since I was a child and I still love you even now and—I think your feelings were sincere when you said you love me. Something like that doesn’t end easily, right? I mean, I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? I never hurt you or ignored you, right? So…so…I don’t know why this is happening…I know it’s not out of nowhere because you seemed distant the past month but—I don’t want this to end. Changmin. You do understand, right? Please just-”

“Hey,”

“Just don’t break up with me!”

“Don’t cry…”

Sniff. Sniff

“I’m sorry, Yoona. It’s just not the same anymore”

“Changmin…wait”

“Good night”

“Changmin!”

“I’m sorry, Bye”

“Wait!”

Beep. Beep.

***********

Yoona didn’t give up on Changmin. She believed in their love. She believed that once she wasn’t by his side, he’d realize how much she meant to him. How much he loved her and couldn’t live without her.

But soon she found out, he didn’t love her as much as she loved him and he could, in fact easily, live without her so on one rainy night, she decided it’s about time she stopped being so desperate.

She didn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt when she saw Changmin talking to the popular Nana during lunch.

She didn’t pretend it didn’t hurt when he ignored her when she smiled to him (just to be nice).

She didn’t pretend it didn’t hurt when he declared his love for Nana in front of the whole school after singing on the talent show.

But at least, she finally accepted that he’s never going to be hers anymore and thus, she finally moved on and had her heart back, ready to be given to someone else. Someone who deserves it.

************

9 Days Before Wedding Day

The next morning, Yoona woke up, exhausted. She slept late because she spent the night reminiscing about her past with Changmin. It never crossed her mind that they would meet again and they’ll meet even more in the future since he’s Victoria’s boyfriend. On Christmases, family dinners, family weddings and other events, they’ll have to face each other. She decided to talk to Changmin about it all so in the future; there won’t be any awkward situations.

“Yoona, it’s almost 10, let’s go eat breakfast,” Donghae called from behind the door. Yoona and Donghae had different rooms because both of their families were traditional. Talk about family, Yoona reminded herself to call her Dad and tell him that Changmin will be in the wedding so he doesn’t get shocked(and make a scene) when they meet.

“I’ll eat later. I’m really tired, Donghae,” Yoona replied.

“Do you want to see a doctor?” Donghae asked.

“It’s not a big deal,” Yoona laughed, or pretended to, “I just stayed up watching movies last night”

“Okay, darling. I’m meeting with my Dad after breakfast so I’ll see you for lunch, Okay?”

“Okay,” Yoona said. She heard him taking a step away then she remembered.

“Donghae!” she called, louder than she intended to.

“Yes?” he said almost immediately.

“I love you,” She said, loud and clear.

“I know, Yoona” he said, breaking into a wide smile, “I know”

“Okay, go eat now” she said, feeling better.

“I love you too, Yoona” he said.

Yoona heard his footsteps fading again but she didn’t call him back this time. She just pushed her head into the pillow and tried to sleep. But of course, she didn’t.

After about half an hour, she gave up going to sleep and decided it’s time to go and eat breakfast.

When she arrived to the dining hall though, she found it empty except for one person who, judging from his plate, is just starting to eat or this is his second dish. Yoona guessed the latter part made more sense.

She almost rushed out of the hall, forgetting about her earlier decision of facing him but then Changmin looked up and saw her.

“Changmin, hi” she said.

“Hey, Yoong” he replied, if he was nervous, he hid it well.

“It’s been a long time” Yoona said, approaching him.

“Yup” Changmin uttered, continuing his meal.

“You changed quite a bit” Yoona said. She didn’t know what else to say.

“You didn’t change at all” Changmin replied, finally look at her.

“Somethings did change though” like my feelings for you, Yoona thought.

“Yeah…” Changmin said, looking at his meal again.

“So…how’s college?” Yoona asked, mustering up the courage to sit facing him.

“Alright. I’m studying pre-law like I said I would,” Changmin answered indifferently.

“And I finished studying and became a chief, like I said I would, ”  Yoona said even though he didn’t ask her about what she’s up to.

“Oh yeah, nice meal yesterday,” Changmin said, remembering last night’s events. Yoona’s thoughs seemed to follow his.

“Thanks…about that…I’m sorry…for you know, starting a scene” Yoona said, apologetic.

“Don’t be. You did that for my safety so thank you,” Changmin said, finally breaking into a smile.

“You’re welcome,” Yoona grinned.

“So…how are things with you and Donghae?” Changmin asked, his expression as unreadable as ever.

“Perfect. He’s everything to me, he’s kind and caring and nice and loves me and would never ever hurt me” Yoona said almost curtly. She didn’t mean for her tone to be accusing but it just came out that way.

“Oh…” was the only thing Changmin said.

“Yeah…” it was Yoona’s turn to look down at the wooden table.

“I would never hurt you too, Yoona” Changmin declared.

even though she had decided to let Changmin go after graduation and never let his memory hurt her again, something made her feel that pain again.

“You did before,” Yoona choked out, her voice betraying the cold appearance she wanted to possess.

“I didn’t mean to. I was at that age when I didn’t know anything,” Changmin said lamely.

“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” Yoona laughed bitterly, “You have Victoria and I have Donghae…and we’re both happy”

“I’m not happy that you have Donghae though,” Changmin said.

“Why?” Yoona asked.

“Don’t start the ‘why’ thing again” Changmin said and Yoona almost laughed. Almost.

“Tell me, Changmin. Why aren’t you happy that I have Donghae?” Yoona said. “Could it be…?”

“I don’t know, Yoona” Changmin shook his head.

“What about Victoria?” Yoona raised her eye brows.

“I love Victoria,” Changmin stated calmly.

“Then for god’s sake, what were you trying to say?” Yoona’s voice rose as she stood up.

“I don’t know. Yoona. I told you!” Changmin said, frustrated with himself.

“Fine. Whatever,” Yoona said, turning to go to the door, ignoring her hungry stomach.

“Yoona, wait…” Changmin called, his voice so desperate it reminded Yoona of an old memory when he called her like this.

“Wait what?” Yoona asked, anticipating. But he didn’t reply so she continued,“Do you have anything to say, Changmin?”

I still love you, he thought.

“No…” he said.

“I thought so,” Yoona shook her head, disappointed “I thought so”

Don’t leave me, he thought.

“Sorry,” he said.

And with that, Yoona took her leave.

**********

2 Days before Wedding

Changmin was going insane. As per usual, he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Stop this wedding? Tell Yoona that he still (might) love her and see how she reacts? Run away and not attend the wedding? Jump off the ship?

He didn’t know but after walking around the ship for the past 2 hours, avoiding Victoria, he decided that there was still somethings he wanted to talk to Yoona about. He called her room from his after dinner and told her that he wanted to talk to her. He knew she was hesitant to meet him but he was still grateful when she agreed to meet him.

After he called her, he went upstairs to wait for her. It was dark, quiet and late, around midnight. Changmin was sure that Victoria had given up on trying to find him and went to bed. The only thing he heard as he leaned forward to look at the pitch black water below him was the sound of waves slamming into the ship.

He vaguely wondered if he jumped off now, would there be starving sharks that are ready to eat him?

“It’s cold,” he muttered knowing perfectly well that the person that has just arrived wasn’t Yoona, “Go to sleep, Victoria.”

How did he know it was Victoria without having to turn around? Even he didn’t know the answer to that. He just felt her presence.

“What’s wrong, love. You’re looking down lately,” Victoria said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Changmin answered sincerely, “But I don’t want to talk about it, Okay? Just go to sleep, don’t worry about me. I’m fine, I just need to think”

Changmin was afraid that if Yoona sees Victoria, she would go back to her room so when Victoria didn’t press him any longer, he was relived(and guilty)

“Okay, love. Good night” Victoria said, giving him a short back hug that sent immediate warmth through him, “If you want to talk, you know where to find me”

Victoria looked back at Changmin once before sighing and finally going down the stairs.

A few minutes later, another woman arrived, her steps nosier than the first one. This time Changmin turned around to greet her.

“Yoona,” he said, breaking into a genuine smile.

“What’s so important that you had to wake me up this late, Shim. Spill it out” Yoona said, walking to him without smiling.

“Nice to see you too, Yoona,” Changmin said, turning to stare at the ocean again.

Yoona waited for him to continue. Her hair flying behind her due to the wind that she found too sharp for her comfort but not too bad that she have to go inside.

“You know…” Changmin began, “Victoria is perfect for me.”

Yoona looked down, waiting for him to continue.

“And Donghae…Donghae is perfect for you. You’re thickheaded and Donghae is understanding, You’re not the type to apologize easily but Donghae seems like the type that be first to apoligize. When you feel lost, I believe Donghae will understand. He will wait for you to be happy again and never give up on you. And Donghae…again, I’m just guessing from our earlier encounters, will never question his feelings for you. He’s sure he loves you and only you…So…yeah I think he’s perfect for you.”

Yoona listened attentively as words continued to rush out of Changmin’s mouth.

“Victoria…I was horrible to her. When we first met, I made fun of her Korean, I called her names, I played pranks on her that were not even funny, I bullied her in front of my friends and classmates But you know what? When I was kicked out of the university with no money, when even my family abandoned me. The girl that I thought hated me the most leant me a hand. She helped me. Her unconditional generosity made me appreciate her. She changed me. She understood me. She didn’t give up on me. She’s perfect for me…”

Changmin finally turned to glare at Yoona, who’s eyes were watering and it wasn’t because of the wind. His glare was strong and full of emotions.

“What I’m trying to say is. Even if I loved you ever since we were in elementary school, even though I loved you even more when I was in High School and even though I’ve never truly loved anyone as much as I loved you…Even though…even though I might still be in fact in love with you, I will never be perfect for you and you’ll never be perfect for me…You get it? You gave up on me months after my feelings wavered. And even though I still loved you, I never admitted how much I exactly loved you back then….and because I left you and because you didn’t tell me to not go…well you did but you it wasn’t enough. We were separated. If I was Donghae back then, I wouldn’t have left you. I would’ve been honest with my feelings for you. And if you were Victoria, you would have insisted on meeting me, talking to me. You would have understood that I was wavering and…you would’ve made me admit my feelings…”

Changmin sighed, turning to look at the ocean again. This time smiling painfully.

“…Do you understand what I said? We’re both good people, You make a good girlfriend and I make a good boyfriend, I hope so  anyways,” he laughed darkly, “ But, we don’t make a good pair when we’re put together. We’re just not meant to be together…you get it?”

This time Changmin waited for Yoona to reply. When he was talking to Yoona, he wasn’t just talking to her, he was talking to himself too. And surprisingly, after his own realizations, he felt both less guilty and less sad.

“You get it, Yoong?” Changmin insisted.

“Yes. Changmin, I do,” Yoona smiled widely to him, her own confusions finally coming to rest but tears still flowed down her cheeks. “I understand, Changmin. And I agree”

The young Yoona in her died at the reality of Changmin’s words. It wasn’t Changmin’s fault that their love died before, like she thought before. It wasn’t hers either. It wasn’t, in fact, anyone’s fault. It was just that they’re not meant to be together. Simple as that.

They stayed quite for another 5 minutes. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a rather comforting silence that made neither uncomfortable.

“Hey, Changmin,” Yoona said after a while, smiling a little. Her tears finally stopped.

“Hm?” he looked back at her.

“I’m glad you remembered me this time around,” Yoona said, sincerely.

Changmin chuckled, “I remembered you before too”

Yoona looked at him strangely, but Changmin only shrugged.

“Come to think of it, I don’t know why I pretended to not remember you back then” Changmin laughed, “I guess I was angry at you for moving”

“I kept sending you letters though,” Yoona said, “but you never replied then I eventually gave up”

“I never got them,” Changmin said, hardly surprised as he recalled that his Dad never liked Yoona or her family.

“Your Dad,” Yoona said knowingly.

“My Dad,” Changmin agreed.

Silence enveloped them again, this time it was a little bit awkward.

“I’m going to bed,” Yoona declared. Changmin looked at her and nodded.

As she walked away though, Changmin called “Yoona!” before he could stop himself.

She stopped in her tracks but didn’t turn to look at him.

“I don’t know how I should say this,” Changmin mumbled, suddenly feeling nervous, “Can I…hug you? One last time? As a friend, of course”

This made Yoona finally look at him and Changmin was startled to see that tears were running down her pink cheeks again.

She nodded and walked to him, slowly at first but then her steps were getting quicker until she was literally running at him and not to him.

Changmin’s arms extended to receive her immediately as he staggered back at first then gained back his balance.

Once she was in his arms, he sighed deeply as if he was choked up since sophomore year and hugged her tighter.

“This is the last time I’m shedding tears for you, Shim Changmin,” Yoona vowed in his ears and it didn’t hurt him, not at all. It’s not like he wanted Yoona to shed tears for him.

“Wonderful,” Changmin breathed out.

***************

Wedding Day, Changmin.

I stood studying her breathtaking beauty as everyone else clapped for her and my heart started to clench again.

Her eyes found mine as she smiled so sweetly at me, and even though smiling was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, I couldn’t not return her smile.

She winked at me then and I gave her thumbs up, to show her that I’m okay, that I’m truly happy for her.

Then…Then…

Then she went to him and everything else happened painfully slow. I was still fighting the urge to go and blurt out that I take back everything I said. That I’m not happy that she’s getting married. That I still want her.

But then she says, “I do” and my heart grows heavy really quickly then light as quick then something stung then everything went quiet and a sigh escaped my lips.

Good bye, Yoona.

****************

Wedding Day, Yoona.

Walking down the aisle wasn’t as difficult as I imagined it’d be. Everyone I loved stood there, clapping happily. My friends, my family, my soon-to-be family and Changmin. Changmin didn’t look happy though, he didn’t even clap. I wished that there was something for me to do to make him happy too but I knew there wasn’t. The person standing next to him could do. I heard from Donghae(and Changmin) that Victoria is a strong but also a caring and a loving woman. And I’ve come to agree with them since I spent most of my time with her(decorating, preparing and chatting) the past 10 days. I’ve seen with my own eyes the effect she had on Changmin. When he looked down, she would brighten up his mood rather than try to get him to talk about why he’s upset(like I would).

And because I knew Victoria would eventually make Changmin happy again, I smiled to him, hoping that he would know that I’m still his friend and when he smiled back, it was the cutest thing ever so I did that silly thing I used to do when we were kids, I winkled. I chuckled softly when he gave me thumbs up then I walked past him, to the one perfect for like Changmin said, Donghae.

Soon, I was announced Donghae’s wife and we exchanged a soft,short  yet sweet all the same kiss.

When I turned to our cheering audience with Donghae’s hands still in mine, the first thing I saw was Victoria crying and Changmin hugging her and kissing her forehead . Changmin was laughing again at his girlfriend’s happy tears, all thanks to Victoria Song.

My smile widened.

Goodbye, Changmin.

A/N I don't know if any of you understood why Changyoon aren't meant to be like I wanted to so if you don't understand just leave me a comment on which part you exactly don't understand and/or why you think they're not meant to be. I'm sorry if you didn't understand though, I tried. I really did!  And the reason this story ends up with Changtoria and Yoonhae is because I think Victoria and Donghae are perfect for Changmin and Yoona. And you may ask why I don't ship either is because even though Changyoon might be an unsual pair, I think they both have the ability to overcome their differences and be a happy couple. 

And I'm really not the type to think there's an "Only One" (sorry kwon boa) for a person. I think a person have multiple people that they can be in love with. Not at the same time of course, but if it doesn't work out with someone, it's not the end of the world...get it? ugh, I'm confusing even myself. Thank you for reading anyways :) Oh and comment! I want your opinions. You don't have to subscribe I don't care about subscribers but I do appreciate comments.