When the tall, dark haired  chinese boy had stepped inside SM Entertainment for the first time, Donghae had instantly been blown away. He himself had been standing at the hallway of the building, waiting for other members of his group to come. Super Junior had been practicing and finished early that day. Donghae had been faster than others so all he could do was to wait for now.  As he had been leaning against the wall, front door opened and the boy he saw stepping in changed his life for good.

     Donghae actually never talked to the boy, mainly because he didn’t speak Chinese and the boy didn’t know much Korean. And besides, he always hang out with another tall, angry looking Chinese guy, whose name was Wufan, if Donghae remembered correctly.  For a while, the singer actually thought the two had something going on, but later he found out that Wufan only took care of the other until he learned enough Korean.  

     Years went by and Donghae’s small crush grew out to be not so small.  It took him over a year to find out the boy’s name, mainly because he didn’t want to seem… well, like he was interested about the other. But as Heechul one day gave him the name, Zitao, it never left his mind.  And when he heard that Zitao would debut in a group, it made him a little too excited – this meant that he actually could interact with him.  Not everyone in SM liked if debuted  artists hang out with trainers, especially Chinese.  So these news were really pleasant to him.

     But soon enough he realized how it did not make him happy. Seeing Zitao, who now used a stage name Tao, interacted with other members of his group, made Donghae’s heart clench. He wanted to hate other members, prevent them from touching something he had been admiring for so long. Of course, Donghae didn’t admit this to himself, he wasn’t allowed to feel these warm feelings towards his label mate.  Who was so much younger than himself.

     God, how that situation made him angry. So frustrated he  wanted to just cut off his contract and walk away like Hangeng  had done.  But in the end, he didn’t do it, knowing he would regret it sooner or later. So he kept admiring Tao from the distance, changing glanced from time to time by accident. Everytime the Chinese one smile at him and bowed slightly. Those little acts made Donghae’s heart flutter.  

~*~

It was the end of their first SM Town tour with EXO on board.  All the shows had been just perfect and Donghae felt so damn good about practically everything: himself, Super Junior, the fans, travelling and more than all, Zitao. The Chinese boy had been just perfect with his wushu in the dance battle, also with  choreographies.

     As all the artists were lining up for a mutual bow, Donghae managed to sneak himself next to Tao. He felt himself so small next to the tall figure, who actually turned to him with a big, happy smile on his face. All of this was yet so new to Tao, when Donghae was getting used to big crowds, flashing light and unbelievable noise that always filled the arenas.  Not that he didn’t appreciate it or loved it any less than before.   Slowly, he worked his hand to rest on Tao’s hips, feeling how a smile on his own lips grew wider. For his surprise, Tao bent over, close to his ear.  “You were amazing, hyung”, the Chinese said and chuckled happily while he didn’t notice how deep blush covered the elder’s face. Donghae did manage to mumble something to thank the other but kept himself in total silence after it. His heart was bounding too hard, too fast, he almost felt like fainting.  After the show, it was Kyuhun who looked at him a bit worried. “Hae, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just a bit tired”, Donghae flashed a smile, a faked one of course.  Even thought he was happy that Tao spoke to him, for some reason it made him realize how far away the tall boy actually was. He had kept his hand on his hips, even leaning slightly closer, but knowing  all that time, that Zitao would never be his.