Justine calmly and gracefully hastens past the hall and into her room. As soon as she locked the door shut away from the world, her tired green eyes turn into rage and torn the whole room apart. In the mist of rage, she accidentally slipped over a pile of freshly washed clothes and fell harshly on the marble floor.

‘OUCH!’ She thought for a moment before blushing red in rage all over again.

Reaching out for the nearest object, she threw it in the direction of the mirror. The cracking sound of the mirror snapped her out of the rage she was in, as she realized that it was the end of her mobile lifespan right here, right there.

‘My phone!’ She grasps quietly and crawled over to where her mobile had landed.

Holding her precious mobile in her hands, she starred blankly at her refection in the distorted mirror. She started to yelled hysterically, barging to the mirror and bang her head again and again, “Why mom? Why??”

Rivers of tears streaming down her cheeks, reflecting more on her emotional pain then the physical pain she’s feeling. “What am I doing all this for?? Who am I doing it for?? Isn’t it for you mom…” Justine yelled to herself as she started ripping off her simple yet elegant clothes that made her look innocent and pure. Justine is the eldest child in her family and have always vie to get her mother’s love and attention as she had been labeled to be the black sheep in the family. Justine had tried everything to prove to them it wasn’t true but it all came to waste.

“Why can’t you be like other girls Justine? Soft-spoken, graceful and know just how to please others? You are so… ragged!” --- Those were the exact words that were unleashed from her mother. The words that would be invading her mind for eternity, just to ruin her self esteem over and over again.

“I don’t need these clothes anymore!!” Justine threw the clothes out of the window. She fell to her knees, covering her face sobbing uncontrollably. Suddenly like as if light dawn on her, she stopped sobbing and shot up, “No Mom I had enough of trying to pretend to be someone else!” She declared to herself as she ran through her wardrobe picking up the most favorite outfit: a pair of baggy trousers and a baby tee. She ran through the eye liner around her eyes, applying black colored lip stick on her pale lips; she grins at her own reflection as she let her raven curly hair down from a bun.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Slipping her hands into her side pockets, she dragged her feet as she walk. Having no idea as where she could go to ease the pain she was feeling. Her thoughts were brought back to her past. The happiest time spent was always with her grandparents and her foster family. A tear escape from her eyes as she quickly wiped it off, ‘Atuk…’ The thoughts of her granddad always had that impact on her as he has always been close to her and loved her until his very last breath. No one would dare to pushed any blame on her… he would always be her protector. Things are just not the same anymore without him around.

A familiar voice was heard, snapping her back to the dreading reality she was in. “Justine!! I know it must be you…” Yoona voice trail off as she scanned through Justine’s outfit. “Ouh! You are back to those ragged clothes of yours.” Yoona commented with a slight disgust in her tone of voice.

Justine’s green eyes turn cold, remembering Yoona was one of the reasons her mother bombarded her again. “Leave me alone!” She snapped.

“Oh dear… what did I do?” Yoona asked in her soft spoken tone.

“Just stop pretending being all soft spoken it annoys me! Do you have a problem with my dressing? I don’t need this right now alright!” Justine replied harshly as she pushed her way through and dragged herself away from Yoona. “Girls who only cared about dressing up and being so soft spoken – guy magnets… annoying!” Justine muttered to herself as she headed straight to the jamming club.

“Hey Justine!! It’s been a long time! Where have you been?” One of the guys she got to know from the club greeted.

“You know, I heard some really weird rumors that you had a make over into one of those typical guy magnets around. You know, nice decent clothes, light make-up, soft-spoken, those kinds of girls. But you still look same old to me.” Another guy commented.

Justine gave them a sarcastic grin as she slopped into one of the sofa. “Aren’t you glad I’m still the same old, same old?”

Suddenly someone hugged her from behind, “Hey sis, I figured you’d be here… ermmm your room’s a mess…” Ryle was hoping for an answer from her elder sister.

“Let go of me, you are embarrassing me. Ryle, can’t you give me some space?”

Ryle gracefully takes a seat next to her sister, “I understand what you’re going through sis but… mom would always be mom, you know…”

“I thought we've been through this so many times before and I’ve changed for the better... but no matter how hard I tried, in her eyes I’m still the wreaked girl that she regret giving birth to. I struggle my whole life just wanting her to see me in a different light but it seems like it’s wasted...” Justine clench her teeth as she continues, “It’s never about how mom’s other children made her upset, it’s never about how you two made mistakes, it’s never about how bad you both were.... but the arrow always pointing to me. How I was a big disappointment, how screwed up I was, how messed up I was, how she hated to even see the sight of me. You’ll never understand me Ryle”

“But sis…” Ryle tries to reason things out although she knew there was nothing she could say to make her sister feel any better.

“Justine, you’re next!” One of the guys called out.

As Justine sat on the high stool, gently strumming the guitar her eyes was looking straight into Ryle’s. “This song is for you…” She announced into the microphone as she started singing…

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life...