The room seemed dimmed even though there was nothing wrong with the lights. The curtains hung loose, blocking the outside views from the people inside the building, or vice versa. On the particular living room, there sat two people in their mid twenties. An age where people reach the stage where they should start thinking of settling down. And they were trying to.

A couple, a man and a woman sat on the couch. The man, Donghae trying to watch the TV, although sometimes his glance turned to the woman beside him, who was hugging her knees. The woman’s face was hidden, not giving any clues what emotion she was trying to show.

She’s always been like that. Donghae sighed.

He then walked to the kitchen to make some drinks. It was cold outside, maybe something warm. As bad Donghae was at cooking, making hot drinks are still on his capability list. You just have to pour the powder, add some spoons of sugar, and lastly pour boiled water. Done.

Bringing two cups of hot chocolate back into the living room, he tried to call her name. The name owner just shook her head, still burying her face on her folded arms. Donghae then put the cups on the coffee table in front of them. He turned off the TV, “You can’t keep going on like this, you know.”

“Try me,” She said. Her voice sounded vague, but enough for Donghae to hear.

“Can I.. touch your hair?” He said uncertainly. Hearing no response , he approached until he was sitting right next to her and her hair. “You know we need to talk about each other.”

She moved her head, away from Donghae’s hand. “I just at this.”

“And don’t you ever change. I like that about you, your oddity,” The man assured.

“Doesn’t that just make me.. weird? I mean I.. I..” By now she already released her knees and sat leaning to the couch. She cleared her voice, avoiding any sobs.

Donghae moved his hands to catch her in his embrace, “I love you. Just continue.”

Deep breath, everything is alright.

“I don’t want to be just another person in a million. I know we’re destined to be this way but I just don’t want to. I don’t even care right now if I sound self-centered, I just want to tell you all this.”

She then added, breathing hard. “I want to be my random self but as much as I want that, I’m afraid to be called weird—which is what I already am. I tend to think too much about everything, is it a bad thing, Donghae? Is it? I think too much even if it’s not really that important. Hell, I’m just.. really, really, tired. Can’t I just be my freakin’ self? I’m not that strong so can’t people just shut up about anything I do? This is really selfish of me, isn’t it..”

Donghae kept on her back while she controlled her breathing. Both of them closed their eyes and enjoyed the warmth shared that night.

“Thank you for sharing it with me. I love you more.”

“Then you are cheesy,” she retorted, still burying her face on the embrace. They went silent for a few while.

“Oh fine, I love you most.”

That time, Donghae might didn't see it, but he was sure that his girlfriend's face was smiling warmly.