"Cat and Dog" [1 / 2]
Tales From Retail
Himchan sighed, walking to the back of the store. His cats needed his motherly love, and damn it all to hell if he wasn't going to give it. But, his lovely Jongup wasn't with him because he was mad at him.
It wasn't his fault, really! That chick obviously knew that they were together, but oh, she still had to give him his number. "Being friends?" Ohoho, Mama Himchan knows exactly what happens after you start being friendly to each other for awhile. Then comes the touching, and then downright snogging. Jongup was a not-so-flaming homo too, so that dumb girl can shove that excuse up her—
"Meow~!" A ball of fur called out to him from his cat fortress, and he immediately hurried in, cooing.
"Derpy Cat, you fat ball of cat, how are you?" he cooed, only to get slapped by the cat's paw. Was it offended? Nah, it couldn't be. "Yah. Is that how you treat your temporary-until-Key-kicks-you-out owner?"
The cat stuck out its tongue in defiance. It really seemed like it understood him, and the diva scratched his head in thought. Nah.
"Silly cat, you're not supposed to understand me." Himchan poked its nose, and the cat sprang out from the cardboard box it was sitting in (perfect cat traps, by the way, for the inexperienced cat hoarder). It seemed to explode into a cloud of smoke, a yowl echoing through the room of lazy cats.
"WHAT THE FLIPPITY FUDGE BUCKETS WHAT IS GOING ON!" Himchan screeched, waving his hand through the smoke. Was he holding a cat bomb the entire time? Holy hell! "DERPY CAT, PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NOT A MESS OF CAT GUTS RIGHT NOW!"
"Excuse me, but I am NOT a mess of cat guts." A voice seemed to growl, appearing from the smoke. There was a… boy in the room now, instead of his lovely cat. "And I am NOT fat, I'm rail-thin, seriously, look! It's the fur!" The boy flapped his arms about, and indeed, he looked like a walking skeleton.
"WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAT?" Himchan screamed, looking around for the fat cat. No way that the cat he adopted was a boy in disguise. How can the kid even fit into a tiny cat suit? Unless it was witchcraft…
Yep, probably witchcraft…
"Right here. My name is Lee Taemin, apparent 'lazy wanna be cat-boy'. And you…" The boy named Taemin pointed an accusatory finger at Himchan, "You practically kidnapped me when I was taking a nap." Himchan raised his hands up in the air, playing innocent.
"I adopt cats, and you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time then, Mr. Cat-Kid." Himchan said, tilting his chin up sassily. His pride was his greatest asset. And, only asset.
"I only stayed here because the food was free, but I have to leave and head back to my friend." Taemin pretended to look at his watch he didn't have. "Also, I'm a wizard, . I just like walking around as a cat."
Wow, this kid has a potty mouth. Himchan raised an eyebrow. I like it.
"Oh, you're a wizard, Harry! A wizard!" Himchan said dramatically, clutching his chest.
"It's Taemin."
"Whatever. Anyways, compensation for your stay at Chez Himchan?" The diva never forgot about money, and he stretched out his palms, expecting money.
"You practically captured me for your amusement, so I paid with that, you greasy old man." the boy replied, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. "I'll be leaving now. Be lucky that I'm being polite and not doing anything bad to you for trapping me here."
Himchan snorted, and stuck out a foot as the boy started to leave. As soon as the boy tripped, he started cackling with laughter.
"YAH, YOU GREASY OLD MAN! I TOLD YOU TO BE RESPECTFUL!" Taemin growled, voice muffled because his face practically ate the floor. Himchan simply flipped his short hair as much as he could, rolling his eyes.
"I'm your elder, so shouldn't you be paying me so I could live well?" he played the pity card, earning him a smack as soon as Taemin stood up again. Oh, this kid wanted a catfight, didn't he? He almost snickered at his pun. Do you see what he did there? Because he sees what he did there.
"Well, I'm pissed now." the boy said childishly, glaring at Himchan. He raised his hand up suddenly, snapping a finger, and sparks shot out in the room, cats yowling in wonder. "Don't come crying to me when you see what I did."
"Pff. Like a little 'wizard' like you can do anything." Himchan stuck out his tongue, blowing a raspberry as the kid poofed out of the room with another snap of his fingers.
What could a kid like him do? Besides, the guy probably just used some weird party trick to make those sparks, and the smoke, and to turn himself into a cat… Haha… Only Key could use some weird witchcraft! Yeah!
Nothing could possibly go wrong!
He soon left after petting each of the twenty two (now twenty one after the leave of Derpy Cat), and stomped out, still furious over the slap on his cheek. Stupid kid. He was better as a chubby cat.
☆
"THEY WHAT?" Himchan screeched. He had just been called over by a furious looking Yongguk, who was ready to beat the crap out of his friend.
"I was right in front of those two yelling at them when they started crunking in front of me because they were bored…" Yongguk said between grit teeth, huffing in annoyance at the memory, "Then my Zelo turned into that!" He pointed at the tiny white kitten sitting on the floor on its , the cat's tail tipped with a familiar shade of blue that indicated that it was indeed, the maknae.
"And Jongup… He's the puppy?" Himchan yelped, jabbing a finger at a chocolate brown puppy with floppy ears that insisted on chewing Zelo's ears with sharp teeth. Thank god the maknae seemed like a patient kitten, he sat there and mewled adorably. It'd almost be cute if it wasn't… You know… Their (boy)friends.
"Yep. And the puppy's been trying to chew Zelo's ears off for a while now. I blame you. What did you do?" Yongguk was quick to accuse, but he was right this time.
"I pissed off a wizard boy?" he laughed sheepishly, and Yongguk punched the side of his head bluntly, making the diva screech in annoyance.
"I'm not even going to ask. What are we going to do with these two? Can they even change themselves back?" The older male hissed, looking down at his precious Zelo who was now the tiniest kitten he has ever seen in his entire life. He could fit in his shirt pocket easily, and it annoyed him. Where was his baby giant?
"I… Have no idea." Himchan half-laughed, half-sobbed as he picked up the Jongup puppy. He didn't like dogs, really. Only the stuffed one he had at home that he affectionately named Brownie. Now his boyfriend was a dog, one that enjoyed chewing people's ears. Or anything, really.
"You stupid little idiot, why did you have to drag Zelo into this?" Yongguk was practically wailing now, picking up his teenager who squirmed awkwardly in his hold, tiny claws digging into his skin. "He's a cat for the SECOND time because of you."
"Hey, at least you got some now." Himchan said smugly, trying to make Jongup the puppy stay calm in his own arms. He was practically bouncing on them, nipping at anything he could get his mouth on. If only he could get him to behave that way when it came to the bed…
"Well, you have a little to take care of." Yongguk said gruffly, shaking the other male out of dirty, dirty thoughts. "And that wizard kid. You better take care of him. Maybe I'm dreaming. I BETTER BE DREAMING." he decided, loudly announcing his choice.
"Oh, you're dreaming! You're definitely, definitely dreaming! You're sleeping at the help desk, with Zelo! Yeah! The maknae's sleeping in your arms right now and it's great! Keep sleeping, soldier!" Himchan laughed loudly, backing away from his friend slowly. "Pleasedon'tkillme."
As soon as Yongguk let his guard down, Himchan fled, fled for the wind and for help from someone less… Insanely violent.
☆
"Ay babay, thanks for helping me with the sorting…" Daehyun winked at a poor woman who fell under his charms, who was now on a ladder and attempting to shelve some canned pineapples. Hey, at least he didn't tell her to paint the store. Again.
"Excuuuuuuseeee me." Himchan snapped his fingers, and the flirtatious worker sighed, turning to him. His tone of voice was one he knew all too well. He wanted something, and Daehyun was going to make sure that he didn't get it. Wait. Why did he have a puppy in his hands? You know what. I shouldn't even ask.
"Yes, my favoritest homoual?" he chirped back, plastering a winning smile on his face. Himchan rolled his eyes; where was the mask that they used to make Daehyun wear? And Taemin called him greasy.
"I need your help, since apparently you're a magician, right?" Himchan raised an eyebrow. His chain of thought was flawed, very, very flawed. But wasn't he always like that? Oh well, he'd roll with it.
"Yes, amateur expert magician majoring in experticious magic!" Daehyun said with jazz hands, waving them about wildly. He almost did a clothesline on a customer walking by, and pulled back his hand sheepishly.
"Hahhaa… Yeah, whatever. Are you in a club or something?" Himchan waved his hands around himself, except this time, he successfully clotheslined a customer walking by. A small groan of pain was heard before the man continued, ignoring the poor victim. "Like, is there any other people around who do… Magic?"
"Yeah, I have a membership card!" Daehyun dug around in his pockets, showing off a flashy, hot pink piece of plastic. Himchan bit his lip in envy at the color before shaking himself out of it, snatching the card quickly.
"Jung Daehyun, Expert at Amateur Magic… Blahblahblah, : Male? Oh yes, please." Himchan murmured, reading the information out loud. Daehyun facepalmed, waiting for the older male to finish, tapping his foot on the floor. "Head of Magic Club… The …? Oh, ohohoho…"
"AHAAHAHAHAH!" Daehyun almost fell over from surprise when Himchan started cackling insanely, waving the hot pink card around in the air. The poor puppy he was holding in his other arm whimpered at the loud sound, starting to gnaw on Himchan once again.
Flaming. Gay.
"LEE TAEMIN, I'M COMING AFTER YOU AHAHAHA!" Himchan war-cried before charging out of the store, a disgruntled Yongguk holding a weird white kitten following after him.
I… really shouldn't ask.
DaeJae stew has been temporarily recalled to the factory due to recent heart problems arising, and high demand from the greedy greedy creator Daehyun
Anyways, to make this note even longer and more annoying, I made this fic look nicer for your lovely, lovely, eyeballs. The shop is linked in the foreword, by the way.
Thank you to subs, and comments, and votes, and people who actually click this too.
… This note has officially reached an annoying length.
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