It was 7 years ago, before Daehyun left, before he left me..

"Youngjae-ah," Yongguk hyung called, "You know you can't stay like this forever, what if Daehyun finds out?" He asked, pointing at my blood that was dripping from my arm, I saw Himchan hyung running with the aid kit on hand.

"Youngjae-ah, you have to stop doing this, please.." He begged as he patched up my new wound, counting all the wounds I have, may be around, nineteen? 

I've started cutting 3 years ago, when Daehyun told me he was going to America, and that we have 2 more weeks together, he looked so happy, to leave me behind like this. His eyes were beaming with pure happiness, I didn't have the guts to tell him to stay, why? It's quite simple actually, I don't want to ruin his future with my selfish actions, if him being happy entails me being miserable for the rest of my useless life, then so be it.

"Youngjae hyung," Junhong called, I lifted my head to see him crying, though for sure my face showed no emotion, he could tell I was sad, "Please," He hugged me, "Don't do that anymore, please hyung, please!" He begged, everyone in my room was crying, especially Himchan hyung, Jongup had his head down by tears were falling like rain on my floor.

"Youngjae-ah," Yongguk hyung sobbed, "Let him go, it may be for the best."

I scoffed, "What do you mean 'for the best', hyung?" I sarcastically asked, looking at him with no emotions, "Youngjae-ah, - "

"Leave, please leave me alone." I cut him, yeah sure we do live in the same dorm, but I can always kill myself when no one's around, right?

"Youngjae, we're not going to leave you," Himchan hyung said, his tone obviously full of anger and concern, "We went shopping for food and we only left you for 15 Goddamn minutes, and look what you've done! We left you yesterday to cook dinner and when Junhong went in, the poor kid saw you bleeding! Have you ever thought of them? Have you ever thought of them getting traumatized?!"

I thought of what he said, to be honest, I never did, proven myself more to be a selfish hyung rather than a caring one, "I don't." His face looked creepier than before, Yongguk hyung looked like he saw Lucifer, same goes for the two maknaes, he looked at them, Yongguk hyung dragged the two out of my room, locking the door, now it's just Himchan hyung and me.. I'm digging my own grave, aren't I?

"Yoo Youngjae," He paused, "If you're not going to stop your self-harm, we have no choice but to tell Daehyun about it."

See? Even Himchan doesn't want to deal with you, you're only a burden to them.

I clutched my head and nodded slowly, tears were running  down, I couldn't stop it, this voice won't leave me alone.

You deserve to die, you are the reason why Daehyun left, don't you remember that happy smile he had when he told you he was leaving? He never wants to see you again, that's why he left, you're nothing but a useless. Piece. Of. Sh-

"STOP IT ALREADY!!" I shouted, I stood up from my bed, still clutching my head, Himchan hyung was staring wide-eyed at me, "I don't want to hear your critisism!" 

Oh really? I'm the reason you're still living. So if I were you, I'd kill myself, make Daehyun proud. I bet he's got some hot girl at US, right?

"No.." I whispered, tears were streaming down, kneeling down on the floor, I heard Himchan hyung shout, "Yongguk! Jongup! Junhong! Come inside! We need help! He's breaking down!"

Oh come on! Seriously? Now you're breaking down? How weak can you get? Why not just suicide? That'd be easier, correct?

I lifted my head, still clutching my hair, beside my bed lie a blade, it looks so tempting, I stood up and walked to get it, the others looked at me; completely shocked, "Y-Youngjae hyung, p-please put that down.." Junhong begged, my vision was to blurry to see if he's crying or not.

Idiot, he's smiling, go ahead, do it. The cold metal against your skin feels good, doesn't it?

I nodded, "Youngjae," Yongguk hyung called, "Whatever you do, don't listen to anything inside your head, please."

Oh come on! He's just trying to show pity! No one ever cared for you, not even Daehyun. So hurry up and die, .

"I'm sorry." Were my final spoken words before I stabbed my stomach, I fell down on the cold floor, something picked me up, it was Junhong, he looked like he was saying something.

"S-Sorry, I c-can't hear.. you, Junnie.."

My eyes became lidded, my breathing became shallow, I saw Yongguk hyung ran out of the room with Jongup,

See? They just left you like that, to show that they don't care. You're a waste of space on Earth, go to Hell.

I smiled weakly, Junhong was still crying, he kept on shouting things, which aren't audible to me. I felt warm hands against my own, I weakly turned around to see Himchan hyung crying, lately did I realize my head was on top of Junhong's lap, Himchan hyung mouthed something, which my guess would be; 'Stay strong,' I heard an ambulance, no.. This can't be happening, they have to leave me here!

Midget, he didn't whisper 'Stay strong,' he whispered, 'Go die,'! Besides, you'll die before you reach the hospital.

I was losing more and more blood, I was feeling cold. I was lifted from my room, with a smile, Junhong cried even more, a few moments later seemed like seconds, I was being surrounded my doctors and nurses, smiling to myself, I let my eyes close, hoping not to wake up anymore.

Memories with Daehyun flashedback, those smiles, that angelic voice that lulls me into deep slumber whenever I can't sleep; everything about him came back, the thing that hurts the most is that the memory of him leaving, visited me. Why can't I be at peace? Even when I sleep. 

Tsk, I'm going to drag you to Hell.

After hearing that voice once more, everything completely turned black..

-~-~-~o0o~-~-~-

I heard voices, "Youngjae-ah," Himchan hyung called, "Please, wake up.. Daehyun's here, please stay strong."

"Jae, why did you try to kill yourself?" He asked, his hand on top on mine, warm hand on top of a cold one, is it fine?

"Please, Jaejae, wake up.. I need you next to me."

I was shocked from what he said, causing me to move a finger, great.

"Jae? Jaejae? Oh please tell me you're awake!" He begged, someone stood up, from the sound of a chair nearly falling down, and went out, may be leaving me and Daehyun alone. Alone.

I give up. I slowly opened my eyes, seeing Daehyun filled with happiness, "Jaejae, y-you're.. awake," He sobbed, and yet, once again, my heart broke, I hate seeing him crying like that.

"Why?" I asked, "W-What?"

"Why did you leave? Why didn't they let me die? Why is this voice, torturing me..?" I asked, I couldn't take this anymore, it's too painful to bear anymore, it hurts, so so much..

"Jaejae," He leaned, our noses were touching, I can't feel any emotions, I'm too hurt, "I left to become a singer, I left to make you proud. And I left to earn money, so if you ever agree to move in with me, we'd be able to live the life we want." He finished, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Jaejae, please, hear me out. I love you, and I want what's best with you." He confessed, I didn't say anything, I couldn't. His face dropped down, but he quickly smiled, "I'm sorry I freaked you out. I shouldn't have told you, it's too early. I'm sorry."

".. No," I spoke, he looked at me, as if expecting the worst, "I... I've been in love with you, f-for 7 years now.." The Hell was I thinking?!

He smiled, our hands still holding each other in a tight grip. 

Jung Daehyun, I've been Painfully In Love With You..

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Okie, ended! Now, which would you prefer first?

Dubu or Jjong? LoL XD

Prequel or Sequel? Which goes first?? :)