The sun reflected off the pristine surface of the pool, causing SeungHyun to squint and look away. JiYong sat beside him, fiddling with the corner of his shirt, waiting for SeungHyun to say something. JiYong was retrieving his literature text from the locker when he got dragged away by SeungHyun. And now there they were, sitting on the beach chairs around the school’s swimming pool, JiYong knew that the reason SeungHyun pulled him out was most probably because of family issues, so he just sat there and wait.

“They fought again.” SeungHyun whispered and looked down into his hands. JiYong did not know how to respond. SeungHyun parents’ fighting has been going on for months now. You would think that he would have gotten used to it. But it just seems to get worse every day. JiYong threaded his finger into SeungHyun’s hair, it.

SeungHyun sighed. He took a shaky breathe and gazed up into the sky, as if the sky could save him from the tears that were about to fall, as if the sky could take all the pain away. He did not tell JiYong that he screamed at them to stop. He did not tell JiYong that the last words he told them was that he hated them. That he wished he was never born.  He contained his tears and stood up, pulling a forlorn JiYong up with him. Giving JiYong a quick peck on his lips, they walk back into the school building and went their separate ways to the different classes. Just in time for the next period.

It was lunch time when it happened.

SeungHyun was packing his bag in the classroom while JiYong was in the washroom.

The unmistakable sound of gunshots echoed around the school compound.

Once. BANG!

Twice. BANG!

Silence.

Faint screams were heard as students push past each other to get into any classrooms. The corridors were empty in less than a minute. In the class rooms, teachers instructed the students to close the windows and shut the curtains. Doors were closed as quickly and quietly as possible. Everyone worked together to push the desk and chairs up against the doors. Once that was done, the shaking forms huddled at corners of the room. They were too afraid to say anything, too afraid to make a sound, too afraid that the person with the gun will come their way if they did.

A million thoughts were running through SeungHyun’s mind. Where is JiYong? Is JiYong safe? Is he dead? Alive? Please, oh please let JiYong be alive. There were so many things he has yet to say, so many things he have not done. When was the last time he said ‘I love you’ to his parents? The last time he saw them he did the exact opposite. SeungHyun struggled to calm as he took a deep breathe, trying to still his hand from shaking so much. Tears flowed freely as he squeezed his eyes shut, wishing and wanting this hell of a situation to be over soon.

A whimper sounded from his left and he turned to see a girl, just as scared as him, shaking just as much as him. He slipped his hand into hers and gave it and encouraging squeeze. He could tell that the girl wanted to smile at him to thank him but she could not, face too contorted in fear to do so. SeungHyun looked around the classroom. Everyone was trying their best to keep silent, even as the tears flowed. Hands were linked around the classroom. It did not matter who bullied who than, who hated who, who had a crush on who. Their hands were linked as they were all equally scared, all equally terrified that that moment would be their last.

When JiYong heard the gunshot, he immediately stopped what he was doing and scrambled into a cubicle, locking it. He climbed up the toilet bowl as fast as he could, using the walls of the cubicle to support him. He too tried his best not to make a sound as fear shot through him, eyes tearing up as he held on for his dear life. He pursed his lips so that any sound from his mouth would not escape.

At that point, not a single sound could be heard in the school.

Someone started it, SeungHyun did not know who, but slowly, people started to take their phones out. Everyone was taking a video of their last words, things they should have said to their close ones a long time ago, apologies that should have been made since forever. SeungHyun followed because he too knew that this may be the only way he could say what he really wanted to say to his love ones, could make amends for the wrongs he did in the past.

“Dear Mom, Dad. I know I said that I hated you this morning, that I wish that I was never born. That’s not true. I love you guys so, so much. So much that it hurts so badly every time I see you guys fight. I know you guys are trying very hard for me, and I really appreciate it. I never hated the fact that you are my parents, because you have given me so much. My words must have hurt you, and I’m sorry. I don’t mean it. Thank you for giving birth to me, thank you for giving me the opportunity to see the world, to meet the person that I’m pretty sure I am in love with.

“And JiYong, if you are alive and are able to see this, I love you. I will always love you. You are the best boyfriend anyone could have. And if we make it out of this together, I want you to be mine forever. I want to go to sleep with you, wake up next to you, do everything I can with you, because I love you, and I want to cherish every second I have with you. I love you mom, dad. I love you Kwon JiYong.”

SeungHyun pressed the ‘stop’ button achingly. His heart hurts so much. The video was shaky, choked at times as he swallowed his tears. He never felt so regretful of his life. He wanted so much to hug his parents and JiYong, to know if JiYong is safe. But he knew he could not lose his cool know, because than he would be putting the life of everyone in the class room in danger.

Just then, someone knocked on the window. Everyone in the room hushed up. Several knocks came across again, more urgently this time. Much to everyone’s disapproval, the teacher manned up and shifted the curtain to the side. Everyone held their breathe, waiting for gunshots to sound again. When nothing came, everyone heaved a sigh of relief at the same time. There was a man clad in black with the word “SWAT” printed on the front of his jacket. He signalled to them that it was safe now.

Everyone started to shift the desk and chairs away from the door, still in shock from what just happened. SeungHyun was especially hurried. He did not care if the desk will break; he just needed to get out of there. He needed to see JiYong. Once the hole out was big enough, SeungHyun slipped out into the corridor, looking over heads, trying to spot JiYong. He could not find JiYong in the corridors, so he ran out into the open field where everyone was gathering, but still no JiYong. SeungHyun started to panic.

He pushed and shoved against the crowd as he entered the school again. He knew that the police would have gotten to the classrooms already, so JiYong would not be there. He spotted a toilet sign and rushed towards it. He searched the first toilet, no one. Second, third, still no JiYong. SeungHyun could hardly stand now. He could not bear to lose JiYong. When he entered the fourth toilet though, he hit the jackpot.

JiYong’s legs were weakening as he struggled to balance on the toilet bowl. He had no idea what was going on out there and he was quite sure an hour has passed already. When the door of the toilet slammed open, JiYong nearly fell into the toilet bowl. Only when SeungHyun called out his name did he let go, open the door and let SeungHyun carry him. He never felt so relieved before, that SeungHyun was alive and alright. SeungHyun’s grip on him was suffocating, but he didn’t care, because he was hugging SeungHyun back just as tightly.

So much tears were shed that day, all because of a person.

Lessons were learned, decisions were made.

Say what you need to say;

When you still have time to say it.