They say that when someone dies, they become a bright star on the evening sky, and they shine their brightest when their loved ones think of them.

So here’s Dongwoo, sitting on the rooftop of his home, staring at the black canvas on the sky, hoping to see one of those bright stars; hoping to see her. He doesn’t really know how he’ll know it’s her, maybe she’ll be the brightest among the stars. For Dongwoo, it has been hard, sometimes he still feels her soft touch, and he can hear her honey-like voice singing. His friends tell him he has gone crazy, insane even. His mom says it’s normal, but he just can’t accept the fact that she’s gone. All he can do is hope that he’s only living a nightmare; that she’ll return and wrap her small arms around his large torso. He just wants to see her once more and see her bright smile.  Every single day he goes back to the places you liked to go, hoping he’ll find her there. But she’s not and his heart breaks a little all the time, because she’s not coming back, and the reality is too harsh to accept it, even though he was there the moment she left forever. He still remembers the day clearly.

He knew she had a severe disease, but she was getting better, she took rough treatments, and took her pills when she had; the doctor said she was almost clear. So when he got a call from the hospital, saying she was in a very delicate state, all color drained from his skin, and all he could do was run to the hospital where she stayed. Once he got there, he screamed for her, nurses telling him to calm down while he demanded to know where she was. He ran to her room, where she was asleep and doctors were surrounding her. All of them whispered to each other, neither of them wanting to tell him that her chances of surviving were of a 20%. When he found out, he dropped to his knees and cried, screaming like a mad man and begging for them to save her. Nurses and doctors shared sad looks, knowing the chances were slim.

He spent days and nights next to her, holding her hand and whispering that she would be okay, and she just looked at him, unable to talk because of the machine keeping her breathing. While she slept, he listened to the steady beeping of the different devices, each noise they made were signs that she was alive, that she was still with him. He spent all the time he could with her, afraid that if he left, she would leave too. Sometimes, he felt that the machines made fun of him, the constant beeping mocking him and telling him that she couldn’t live without them; he just wanted to rip them off, because she was going to get better…or so he thought. A shiver runs down his back as he remembers the night vividly. Her soft caresses woke him up, and a small smile graced her lips, and he smiled back, and no words were shared; because both knew that time was up for her. And he just stayed by her side, holding her hand. He was not going to break down in front of her; he wanted her to leave in peace. However, before she left, she mouthed a sad “I love you”, and that was all it took for him to break down and cry. And that was all he did as her hand went cold on him. Cry, scream and beg for her to come back; because life without her seemed too hard. He just wanted her back, to hold her forever in his arms. His heart broke twice as she was scrolled out of the room, her body covered in a white sheet. He continuously asked himself why it was her and not him, why couldn’t they pass together. And since then, he just thinks about that day.

And that’s all he does, day and night, he just thinks.

His best days however, are when he doesn’t; because sometimes, just thinking brings him back to the floor, tears spilling from his eyes while his heart gets stabbed by the cruel reality.

So here he is now, sitting on the rooftop, hoping she’ll appear next to him. He’s really worried for her, he wonders if she has any regrets. So he just sits on top of the rooftop, hoping that a star shines brightly for him, begging for her to answer all his questions. He just stares at the sky, and he remembers the days he spent with her, tears spill once more from his eyes as he calls out her name.

Will this pain ever stop for him?

She and him, both became like the moon and a star, both so far away. Like the sky and a cloud, they belong together. Their chemistry was undeniable, and every day they spent together just added to the love. The night blows in between his now empty hands. The moon must be so happy to have her in that sky now, being a star must be fun right? Is she okay? He just hopes she doesn’t have any regrets, like he does, because he wanted to spend his life with her, now she’s the only thing missing from his nights. He wanted to give her a personal concert, now he’s singing to the sky with his head hanging low, praying she listens to his worries in sorrowful verses.

“How are you?

Are you hurt anywhere?

You’re not crying alone are you?

You seem sad, I can only see you.

Add on the love in our chemistry…

Lonely, I pray to the starlight”

Dongwoo raises his head and calls out her name, and suddenly, a star shines at its brightest, and he smiles while tears leak from his eyes, as he once more calls out for her, and suddenly, he doesn’t feel so bad, because he has his star up in the sky.

“I promise that I’ll only wait for you, because I miss you even more today, my only love”.

A song for the starlight from a boy who has fallen in love.