Yuri’s POV

“Yul I love you” he said as he kissed my forehead it’s been a year since I started to date Donghae

“I know” I said as I walk away from him I sensed him smile a little

Call me a but I’m not the kind of girl who shows my affection to my partner and I know Hae will never leave me I know he’s different his always with me near me and I love it in fact I really do love him but I’m scared I don’t want to be the clingy girl I once was I don’t want to freak him out just like my Ex’s

He walks me home just like all the other days and like those days we walk in silence

“Yul good night” he said as he kissed my forehead again I nodded and went inside our house when I reached my room I still saw him outside looking at my room with a sad smile

I felt my heart clench why is he smiling like that it’s not like his usual jolly smile, we stared at each other for a short while and I gave him a smile he mouthed I love you to me and I gave him my sweetest smile and mouthed to him to go home he gave me one last glance before he walks home

The next morning I saw him at our gates again waiting for me and we walks to school together

“Hey Yul” he said in a low voice

“Hmm” I responded as I sat next to him under the big tree during lunch breaks we eat our lunch here under the big tree in the school’s garden

“Nothing” he said as he ended it with a sigh

I looked at him confusedly but he just gave a small smile as he gave me a piece of pork on my lunch box

“You should eat more” he said and I just look at him, he’s definitely acting strange

“I don’t want a skinny girlfriend as much as possible I want my girl to be a bit chubby” he said as he forced himself to laugh

He keeps on laughing and acting cheerful the whole day and our walk home is a bit different he keeps on talking and he keeps his hold on my hand when we reached our gate he tightened his grip on my hand

“Yul can we stay a bit longer” he said as keeps his gaze to our linked hands I shrugged his arm and I saw his sad smile again

“You know we can’t Hae you know my brother hates you and if he sees you, you know he’ll kill me” I said in a low voice he just smile at me that stupid smile

“I guess our relationship is still hidden from your family” he said as he took a step backwards I want to hold his arm to prevent him from leaving but my body won’t move I just watched him take another step back

“Yul wanna know my wish” he said and I watch him as he took something in his pocket he showed me a necklace

“I want to stay with you forever Yul” he said as he throw the necklace towards me and I caught it

“Wear it it’s for you, Yul please treasure every moment that we have if you really like me because you know I’m not her beside you forever right” he said and he started to walk away

What does he mean why does he sounds as if he’s saying his good bye

 

DONGHAE’S POV

I asked Yuri to be my girlfriend last year knowing that I have a brain tumour I asked her because I love her I want to take a shot on her I want to be happy before  the surgery before I completely loose all my memories

I love her for almost 5 years and when she said that she’ll be my girl I was so happy I tried my best to show her how much I love her even though I never felt that she loves me back as time goes by my surgery date is coming nearer and nearer and still my relationship with Yuri is still a blur she never told me she loves me even though I told her every single day that I love her and when the day before  the surgery came I gave her a necklace a necklace that my grandma gave me

I want to make her happy actually that’s my dream to make her happy and that’s the last thing I could think of the last thing on my deck is to let her go to let her free before we even date I saw her being clingy and happy jolly kind of girl with her Bf but when we started to date she started to be a quiet and reserve girl maybe she doesn’t really love me all this taught was playing on my mind so I decided to send her a text message

“Donghae sshi it’s time” the nurse said as she enters my room I gave her a smile I pressed the send button of phone and placed it on the bed side table as I walk out of the room

 

                Yul, ai my Yul I know I’m not the best Boyfriend you’ve ever had and I know you never really accepted me because you love me but never the less I’m happy that you gave me a chance to be with you I want to tell you how thankful I am for letting me experience being with a girl as perfect as you actually its one of my dreams J but I think I need to wake up from that dream Yul I’m letting you go but before that I want to say I really and genuinely love you

                You may not see me in the school starting tomorrow please don’t look for me and don’t worry about me I know you pity me that’s why you accepted me but Yul please treat my existence as one of your dreams if you could consider that I know I have a lot of request and all but Yul one last thing before I really, really let you go Yul when a time comes and we accidently meet each other on the streets can you promise me that you’re the one who will approach me Yul when we meet each other on the streets can you introduce yourself to me again I want to start a new with you again that’s if we’re going to meet again Yul Your free now I’m letting you go so please be happy

Yuri’s POV

I received a weird text message from Hae so I decided to go to his house but luck is not on my side they said that their family is out where could he be I don’t like this kind of prank Hae please I started to call him but no one is answering his phone

“Damn it Hae please pick up” I said as I walk in circles in my room I don’t know what just happened but I just decided to sleep it off maybe he’s just playing pranks on me I know Hae wont leave me I know he wont

When I walk up in the morning I felt a weird feelings inside me but I shrugged it off I started to get ready fro school and when I walk outside our house I felt something is missing Hae he’s not here he didn’t wait for me does he hate me because of what happened the other day

When I got in the school I didn’t see him and the lunch came but still no signs of him and classes ended but still no Hae I want to cry but I cant I just don’t want to

Days have passed and I never saw Hae in school I heard from some of my classmates that they migrated to America but that didn’t stop me I still went to Hae’s house after school but still no signs of him I always try to call him but I cant connect to him did he really leave me is he really gone does’nt he told me his wish is to stay by my side stupid Hae

I didn’t help it my tears started to fall when I saw Donghae’s mom coming out of their house with a box on her hand

“Mrs Lee is Hae here” I said and she gave me a warm smile

“I guess your Yuri sshi” she said and I nodded he handed me the box

“Those were Donghae’s most treasured things its his daily journal and diary” she said while giving me a soft smile she reminded me a lot of Hae

“I’ve read his diary and I can tell he really do loves you Yuri sshi too bad he can’t…” she stopped as she wiped her tears

“He cant what auntie” I said

“He cant be with you Yuri sshi his gone” his mom said

“What do you mean auntie he’s dead?” I said afraid of the words that I said

She didn’t answer me instead he runs to her car and went away

I went home with a puffy eyes my brother keeps asking me why but I just went inside my room and I took Donghae’s diary

 

August 08, 2012

Dear diary,

                I’m so happy today she finally noticed me she said to me and she’s my GF now

 

I keep on reading every entry with my teary eyes one entry caught my eye

 

October 15, 2012

Dear Diary,

                It’s my birthday but I think Yuri didn’t remember it, it hurts but it’s fine I’m the one who wanted this and the best present that I received today is the news that my brain tumour is getting bigger that I need to undergo surgery

 

My tears started to fall continuously he has tumour and he endured it all to himself Hae I wish I could help you, I’m so stupid why did I acted so cold to him if only I could turn back time I’ll be happy to spend my days with him

 

January 01, 2013

Dear diary,

                I didn’t manage to spend my Christmas with her but its ok I know I can spend new year with her but I was wrong she didn’t came I waited for her for 6 hours but it’s fine I love her I really do

 

I’m such an he said he didn’t waited for me he lied so that I wont feel guilty

 

August 07 2013

Dear diary,

                Tomorrow is our anniversary I gave her my grandmas’s necklace, but tomorrow I’ll undergo the surgery I’m scared diary I’m scared that when I wake up I might not remember her I’m scared I don’t want to forget about her she’s my everything actually diary I wanted to spent a little time with her earlier but she turned me down I just want to spend my last time with her more or even just to hear her say she loves me but she didn’t she never did Diary it hurts a lot

 

I cried a lot as I clutch the necklace that he gave me

“I love you Hae I really do Hae please come back let me say to you the words that I always wanted to say” I said as I hugged his diary

 

Every single day I read his diary over and over until I almost memorize it and now it’s been 4 years since his gone

I graduated from school and I’m quite successful now I own a small coffee shop down town and its quite popular I used him as my inspiration up until now I never dated anyone I felt like he’s still owns my heart I want to see him so bad that I even thought of ending y life but as a coward as I am I couldn’t do it

I was walking down the street to buy some flowers for the tables in the shop when I saw a familiar figure

“Donghae” I said as I followed him and it was Donghae he’s fine he’s alive

“Hae” I said a bit loudly and he turned to look at me he smiled at me

“Yes” I smiled at him and just like what he said in his text 4 years ago I offered my hand

“I’m Kwon Yuri and I’m in love with you” I said and he was a bit shocked but never the less he took my hand

“Lee Donghae nice to meet you” the moment he touched my hand my tears started to flow

The guy that I waited for 4 years is here in front of me smiling alive and he looks healthy even though he doesn’t remember me I’m still happy that he’s alive

“Would you like to have some coffee” I said as I smiled and he smiled at me too

“Yeah sure ms I just met you now and you love me already” he said and I gave him my best smile

“Because I really do love you” he gave me his old sweet smile and nodded

“Got it” he said

Maybe even though he forget about me maybe his heart still remembers me and right here right now I wont be tired to tell him that I love him even if I needed to start all over again