Taeyeon’s POV

Today is the start of a new semester. I just hope Heechul sunbae doesn’t pick on me again. I thought as I fixed my hair, a sigh escaped my lips. Why does he have to bully me of all people? What did I ever do to him? Gosh and why does it have to be him that I like? I just hope… I can live through his bullies and –

“Big sister how long are you going to be in there?” Hyuna; my younger sister interrupted my thoughts. “You’re going to be late,” she added.

I looked down at my watch and gasped. “Oh my god,” I panicked and immediately opened the bathroom door. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” I asked, knocking her lightly on her head.

“I did, but I guess you were deep in your own thoughts to even hear me banging on the door continuously.” She shrugged; pushing me aside and went inside. “You should go sister.” She reminded me again.

I nodded, taking my bag that was already packed last night.

“Bye Hyuna,” I said to her and went downstairs. Both Hyuna and I don’t have parents. To be honest we were actually abandoned but Hyuna doesn’t know the truth. Hyuna was only 3 years old when we were abandoned; too young to understand anything. She thinks that our parent’s had gone overseas to work and support us from there, but it’s far from the truth.

I took the slice of bread with strawberry jam that was probably done by Hyuna. I took a bite from the corner; leaving it there in my mouth as I put on my shoes. What a pain! It’s the second semester and I’m going to be late for my first class and I bet he is going to poke fun at me again.

Be bold Kim Taeyeon! Ignore him. I heard my own voice said to me.

I don’t know… anyways now that I have my shoes on, I immediately bolted out of the house, not forgetting the house keys and if I did then… I’ll be stuck outside until my sister comes home. With the bread in my mouth (as I tried to eat it while I ran full speed), I made it to the bus before it could even depart.

A sigh escaped my lips once I finished the bread. Taking a tissue out of my bag, I wiped my mouth; making sure there’s no breadcrumbs or any of the strawberry jam around my mouth. Once I was finished, I folded the tissue and placed it back in my bag and reminded myself later to throw it in the bin.

The bus ride to my university; Seoul University only takes 10 minutes since my house isn’t far from the university. I was able to get into the university that I wanted to get in with my talents. Not that I’m bragging or showing off or anything, but I aced the entrance exam scoring full marks.

You’re bragging Kim Taeyeon. My own voice told me.

Shut up. Oh wow, now I’m talking to my own voice. As long I don’t say it out loud, people won’t think I’m insane. I looked up and pressed the ‘stop’ button. Phew I almost missed my stop if I didn’t press it. Stupid voice, it’s all your fault.

Now why are you blaming me when my voice is your voice?

Now that I think about it, yes why am I blaming my own voice? The bus stopped and I got off and hurriedly made my way to my classroom. A sigh of relief escaped my lips when I made it to the classroom and the teacher wasn’t here yet. Okay, today I will endure all the bullying from Kim Heechul. Kim Taeyeon, fighting!

“Morning Jessica,” I said as I sat down next to my friend.

Jessica Jung, she’s the same age as me but a few months younger. She’s from California, but her Korean is good. Thanks to her, I was able speak English without any accent or anything. Jessica is a real beauty and is really down-to-earth once you get to know her. From appearance, you might think she’s cold and mean because of her natural poker face and icy aura, but she’s not. She’s really cute, funny and outgoing. I’m glad I’m friends with her. Along with her, I’m also friends with another foreign student. Her name is Tiffany. I’ll introduce to you her later.

My eyes darted around, looking for a certain person. He’s –

“He’s not here yet if you’re looking for him.” Jessica said in English.

I turned to her, “Really?” I answered back in English. She nodded and a sigh of relief came out of my mouth.

Jessica chuckled, “But really I don’t get what about him you like.” She said; her face scrunched up in disgust.

For the rest of the time while waiting for our teacher, we had our conversation in English and I didn’t even notice that he; Kim Heechul had entered the classroom and sat behind Jessica and me… until I looked back.

“No freaking way. Why behind us?” I whispered to Jessica in English.  

Jessica only shrugged as we both faced the front when we heard our teacher calling for attention.

“A sheet of paper will be going around, so sign where your name is.” Mr Kim said as he fixed his black rimmed glasses.

He looks a bit cute with those glasses on. I can understand why most of the female students are attracted to him; even a few male students. Kim JaeJoong; my music and arts class teacher. I’ve heard him sing once and god his voice is heaven. I’ve never heard beautiful and heavenly voice from a male.

Then it should be Kim Jaejoong that you should like, not that Kim Heechul.

I don’t want to hear it from you. I argued with my own voice while I paid attention to Mr Kim’s lectures. While we took notes, Mr Kim had his back turned to us and this is where it starts.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Tap. Tap. Tap… … … Poke. Poke. Poke.

That same pattern repeated every second. Honestly I would love to tell him off but I don’t to make a scene or to be the centre of attention so I just ignored him.

“Taeyeon-ah,” He whispered, but I kept focused on Mr Kim’s lectures which was hard when he keeps on calling my name and poking me.

My hands were already gripping hard onto my pencil. I just hope it doesn’t –

Snap.

Oops spoke too late. The sound resonated in the silent classroom as everyone looked at me, even Jessica.

“Is there a problem Taeyeon-shi?” Mr Kim asked me.

I shook my head, “I’m sorry Mr Kim. I guess I was writing down the notes as fast as I could and I gripped onto my pencil a bit too tight.”

“Ah I see.”

Mr Kim immediately went back on teaching the class while I picked up the broken pieces of the pencil and placed it to a side. I took another pencil out but put it back it, and took out a black pen, then I went back on taking notes.

As if time was ticking slowly, our class finished and it time for our next class. I was more happy than ever, since Kim Heechul isn’t in that class and I get to introduce you to my other best friend; Tiffany.

“See you at lunch break,” Jessica said before she left the classroom.

All the students have left the class except for me and a few others that were in this class for out next subject.

“Yah, I called you.” Heechul said as he stood in front of my desk.

Oh dear lord, just how much longer must I endure this? I looked up and looked straight into Heechul’s eye.

“Yes sunbae?” I said politely, still looking directly into his eyes.

Uwah~ such beautiful eyes and milky white –

This isn’t the time to be admiring his looks!

Oh that’s right.

“Kim Taeyeon, have you heard what I have been saying?” Heechul asked and tsked. “Such a bad Hoobae you are. You dare –”

“Kim Heechul, go to your next class this instant.” Mrs Lee said, interrupting Heechul and saving me from making up an excuse or going off at him.

(Mid-semester)

“Jessica. Tiffany.” I called out to my two best friends. The two of them skipped to me and sat down laughing. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing~” they chorused.

“Aw! Come on let me know.” I pouted.

“Taengoo, you’re already old to be doing that.” Jessica said as she poked my side.

Taengoo, that’s my nickname that Jessica had given to me.

“Shut up Sica,” I said.

“How was art’s class?” Tiffany asked.

“Well, it was alright.” I shrugged.

Tiffany Hwang, she’s also the same age as Jessica and I but she’s a few months older than me, so I guess I’m in the middle. Tiffany or Fany as I like to call her; she’s a real beauty and her eye smiles makes you smile when you see it.

Tiffany and Jessica left early since they had assignments due the next day. Tsk and they say they’ve finished their assignments already. Just when I thought I’ll have some peace to myself, Heechul came and bothered me again.

Do something about him if he annoys the hell out of you; even if you like him. Stand up for yourself Kim Taeyeon!

Even if you tell me, I have no idea what to do… I ignored Heechul as much as I could.

“Ah,” I shrieked when I felt something sticky poured on top of me.

“Listen to your sunbae when they’re talking.” Heechul said with a sly smirk.

I looked down onto my new T-shirt; which was now stained with orange juice. I bit down onto my lips, my vision blurs as I tried to keep my tears in. I blinked my eyes, blinking away the tears. This is just too much. If I continue studying, ignoring him like nothing is happening…

“Why… does it have to be me?” I said softly.

“What? Speak louder Taeyeon-ah,” Heechul mocked me as he copied my tone.

I couldn’t take it anymore; all of this bullying and… him. I grabbed all of my things together and ran to the girls bathroom and slumped own against the wall of one of the toilets.

With my face buried into my knees as my arms wrapped around my leg, I cried silently. Carefully lifting up my shirt, I placed my fingers over my slightly faded bruise that was on the side of my stomach. This bruise was caused by none other than Kim Heechul.

Hasn’t his parent’s or anyone taught him not to hit a girl? I never thought he would hurt me… This is too much for me to handle. I tore a piece of paper out and with my shaky hand I wrote a letter; a goodbye letter to Jessica and Tiffany. Folding the letter in half, I wrote on one side in big letters ‘To Tiffany Hwang and Jessica Jung’ and placed the letter on the sink table.

I left my stuff behind in the bathroom and made my way up to the rooftop of the university. There weren’t any students around since they were all in class. While I attempted to suicide, I bet Heechul is somewhere with his friends talking about me and making mean jokes or even planning what to do next to me.

Are you sure you want to do this?

This is the only way.

Why don’t you change universities?

I did that last year. He followed me to this university. There’s no other choice. I waited for my voice to argue back but I heard nothing. I closed my eyes, already feeling like I was about to fall off.

Was this really okay? Is this what I want? But even so, if I continue to stay here, I don’t know how much longer how I can take on his bullying. I’m just a weak girl who can’t stand up for herself.

I didn’t know there was a student walking towards the building. The only thing I heard was a deafening scream before I leaned forward; falling off the rooftop of Seoul University.

“Oh my god, isn’t that Taeyeon?” I heard students gathering around my dead body.

 I was in my spirit self, or should I say my ghost self. I looked around and saw my two best friends; Tiffany and Jessica holding a paper. I guess they read my letter. I wonder who found the letter. I turned around and saw Heechul.

I saw the look in his eyes I have never seen before. The students were all looking at Heechul, whispering.

“It’s his entire fault.” I heard a male student say.

Well, to be honest, the entire campus knows about Heechul and his bullying towards me so it’s kind of obvious they would blame Heechul.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers.

He’s sorry? How laughable. I laughed, but no one heard me.

“Are you happy now?” I asked before my spirit faded away.