Jiyong sat there in his studio with his head rested in his palms, turning his pencil in his other hand. He let out a long sigh.  In this late hour, he tried scribbling down lyrics to a new song, but only thoughts of one person came to mind. 

He didn’t know since when, but it didn’t matter anymore.  His head was filled with only thoughts of her.  How her hair swayed back and forth every time that she walked. Or even just hearing the raspiness of her voice calling him “Jingyo Oppa” made him happy.  The way her eyes lit up when she saw him. Just thinking about all this made the butterflies in his stomach flutter.

After some contemplation, he had always realized that she was special to him.  The only girl that was allowed to be in the Nuthang Crew, to be “one of the guys”.  But yet, she wasn’t one of the guys.  She was more than that.  She became his biggest critic, but also his biggest supporter.  That’s what he loved about her.  She always gave her honest opinion, but she never once doubted him either.  He could remember when he had the hardest time of his career in 2011.  First with Daesung, and then himself.  The domino effect had taken over their careers and he had lost all hope for his future. But it was her who pulled him out.  She showed him that he is so much more than the rumors that have defined him in those long hours.  She opened his eyes to see that music gives people life and that he shouldn’t stop his career now. He still had so much more left inside of him to show to the world.  To show that he was “Still Alive”.  Since then, she became the first person he ran to whenever he finished a new song.  Probably the only opinion that mattered to him from that point onwards.  

But even before then, there was always something about her that attracted him to her.  Was it the way that she moved when she performed; owning every single inch of that stage.  How her powerful rap would fill the entire auditorium, with charisma oozing out of her dancing.  Or how versatile she was, switching to using her strong vocals to convey the message of their songs. 

 Or maybe it wasn’t that at all.  Maybe it was the person he knew off-stage. His cute dongseng; his Chaerin-ah, his Hunchae.  The way her eyes disappeared when she genuinely smiled at his jokes. Or that he would be the only person she would lean on because she couldn’t show her tears to her members.  In front of him, her tough persona disappeared and every time a tear rolled down her cheeks, all he wanted to do was wipe it away and hold her tight and tell her that “everything will be okay.”

 He swiveled in his chair and threw his head back in defeat. He was totally sunk.  Jiyong stared up at the ceiling and his song “butterfly” came to mind.

‘Every time I come close to you..Every time I’m feeling you

Feel like I’m gonna dream every time..I get butterfly’

He started singing his song