B.A.P. - I Remember

I tried everything to forget you,
I became better before anyone else.
I hoped that you would regret it all when you saw me.
 

There was this girl who got transferred to a different class and she was honestly scared; scared at the thought of the people around her being known smart and all her years she never thought as herself as one. In this class it was all new to her but then it was not a new school entirely different but still. By some help of miracle she had friends. And then she met him…

She thought he was just like a new classmate, just like the rest, she wasn’t attracted to him or anything else, heck she wasn’t attracted to any guy at that time. She was just her.

As time pass by she adjusted to the new environment. She had really good friends and he became one of them, the one she could joke around with, talk comfortably with and hang around with. She got used to her new environment, which was there was this classroom pairings, although she found it absurd at that time she only had the choice to go with the flow. He was paired with the beautiful one, the girl who’s family is close with his. Heck they even have their birthday’s next to each other. The beautiful girl was also smart ,friendly, rich; basically she was perfect for him. Her who became the beautiful girl’s friend couldn’t help but belittle herself when she mentally compared herself with the beautiful one.

She didn’t know how and when it started but he would unconsciously and randomly surface her mind. At first she was shocked. Who wouldn’t be? When you were not used to someone surprisingly appearing in your mind. At first she thought it was normal but then when she would play love songs she felt like the lyrics spoke to her in some way, like it was something she felt that she couldn’t express at that time; he would be the one she was thinking of.

It didn’t help that at that time she thought and felt that she couldn’t let anyone know how she felt; and she was utterly bothered by it but she had to it up. The feeling no one can understand you and the people around you would just directly judge you, she felt that way thus making her keep it all inside. It was hard, hard was an understatement actually. Seeing and getting to know them more hurt and made her feel happy. To an extent she felt that they had closure together and he somehow felt  that she was his friend; she prayed to every star that he did saw her as his friend .When she entered 6th grade she noticed that he was being distant. She didn’t know if he was avoiding her or it was just her imagination. Though he was still civil with her she was contented with that. Even with all the drama she was falling hard for him, too fast I might say.

Before she knew it the upcoming graduation had came. She needed to part with them, with him.

She changed schools and so did he but they still saw each other since they have the same location where their respective school was. She still saw him and all but she get this vibe that he was giving her the cold shoulders, there was no more smiles exchanged and acknowledging each other’s presence were gone. She didn’t know where it went and why and how it started but it just did. She felt that he completely shut her out. Though she ransacked her brain for anything she might did to angered him and she ended with none which frustrated her hard. Being treated as a mere air he passed her by and with that she could sense her heart breaking to small pieces. This treatment continued for years.

Finally she was in 4th year of her high school life. She learned he had a girlfriend which she honestly expected since it was like a trend to the new generation. She didn’t had someone to call her boyfriend because of her damned feelings for him.  She lost count on how many times she cried for him. Try loving someone for five years and being ignor