It's 9 o'clock in the evening, and almost half of the workers at the hospital had left or arrived for the swapping of shifts. A nurse from the information center was wandering about the 5th floor aisle, doing her usual duty to check if there's something going on in the quiet hallway of the hospital.

With the checklist in her hand, she scrutinize every detail in every rooms as to see if there's something odd going on. Once she has done her job, she walks back to the information desk to input all the information and things occurred that night. It's one of the key on how hospitals maintain and save people's lives. Some nurses are out to play the part regards the needs of the patients, and some are there to simply observe.

Oh DaiYoon, a fresh graduate from Seoul University, and with just one try, she passed the nurse's bar exams with flying colors.

She sits on the rotatable seat, and then she began to type all the needed information she has gathered. She'd been doing her job silently, even though most of her older and more experienced co-workers are exchanging rumors like buzzing housewives.

DaiYoon rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes, as if to fight off sleep. It's almost ten and the exchange for night shifts is coming about, but since she's new, and the unwavering glee for her job brings excitement to her night per night, it makes her ignore the time and keep on doing her job. Well, that's until her substitute has arrived.

She was halfway finished inputting the needed details, but then an unfamiliar worker passed by the information desk and continued to stride towards a room.

Odd, usually when nurses come here they inform us first... and they usually pick up the needed materials and meds here too... She mused quietly, whilst still fully observing the talk frame who's walking towards the I.C.U. section. She stood up once her instincts got the best of her, and then she jogged as to follow the suspicious young man.

She tapped the tall nurse's shoulder with her forefinger, hence, bringing the tall one's full attention on her. "Excuse me, Sir, where are you going?" She asked softly although her breathing is a bit unstable and erratic.

The said young man looked at her, seemingly unfazed by her question. "I'm asked to check on the patient at room 503, the patient's doctor requested for the patient to be given his meds 1 tablet per hour. He also requested that the patient should be directly injected with morphine, saying that the patient is complaining about constant abdominal pain." Said the young man, his answer somehow being muffled by the purifying face mask he's wearing.

Her gaze dropped to the tray that the nurse is holding. She noticed that there's indeed a syringe and a small tablet placed on a mini-cup. "Okay..." the nurse slowly replied. "I'll let you do what you've been told then. Sorry for the short disturbance."

"No problem, I'll be going now..." And then he begins to walk towards the room again, but then DaiYoon tapped his shoulder once more. "Sorry to bother you, but this is a part of my job..."

The young man nodded after a sigh, implying that he's in a rush and is simply being courteous to the young female nurse. "What is it?" He replied, this time he turns to face the other.

"What is the name of the patient and what is his sickness?"

"Kim JaeJoong, age 26 and is diagnosed with bone cancer. A once non-cancerous tumor in his 5th ribcage turned malignant, the said tumor is now spreading on his 3rd and 4th ribs as well. His body is weakening and deteriorating per day and his severe abdominal pain is a part of the complications, which is why he needs to be injected with morphine per night before he sleeps. He's also complaining about slight back pains during his sleep, the doctor assumes that the cancer is spreading on his internal organs, including his kidneys and other glands." He stopped speaking, and then he seeks for the affirmation from the latter.

DaiYoon nodded, and then she apologized to the latter. "Well, I'll let you go now, I'll just inform the appointed nurse that you've checked the patient on room 503. And by the way, what's your name?"

Even though there's a mask covering a part of his nose down to his chin, DaiYoon can make up and see the young nurse's smile underneath it. "Thank you." Said the nurse, and before he begins to walk towards room 503, he said. "Shim ChangMin."

+++++

The pain was bearable before, that's why he thought his back pains during his sleep was nothing, but after what happened to him, after the night that his boyfriend of two years brought him to the nearest hospital because he's has convulsions and he's also suffering from high fever, that's when it's confirmed that all the pain he has been going through was something he never thought could happen to him. He was confined at the hospital for almost 5 days before he was diagnosed with primary cancer and even though he couldn't understand the doctor's long explanation; he understood what's going to happen to him. He understood the part where the cancerous cells are spreading on other parts of his body, and that one of his only options left is chemotherapy. He understood enough that the cancer is aggressive, and that he has to decide whether to fight to survive... or... live his last days happily with the persons he'll miss once he's called to go on the other side.

JaeJoong stared blankly on the tube of I.V. on his hand. His eyes were red and puffy and his once plump and pink-ish lips are now chapped and pale because of the decreasing levels of nutrients in his system.

He's tired of crying. Tired of asking God why it has to be him, why of all people he received such torture. He remembered when he was still on his first month confinement at the hospital, he was staying at a private room near the nurse's station, a place in the hospital where he is still near the busy station and he remembers clearly the buzzing sounds and the clacks and thumps of the instruments of those working nurses outside his room. But now, he's moved to the fifth floor in one of the I.C.U. rooms. Some nurses labeled him as special since his boyfriend is one of the best Neurologist inside the hospital, but he wonders why. Mainly because his sickness is far from his lover's field.

Now he tiredly looks at the wall clock that's placed on his bedside table. It's about time for his nightly injection of morphine. The thought of having another injection automatically makes him tremble, his back aching and his rib bones feels heavy against his chest.

Finally, after minutes of waiting he hears the familiar knock on the door. "Come in." He replies though his voice was too close to a whisper that only he can hear it. The door slowly opens, revealing a figure of a tall nurse who's hiding a part of his face with a facemask.

The nurse approached his bed without a word. And then he automatically leaned forward for him to be able to drink his medications properly.

"Thank you so much" again he said, his mouth forming words but his throat only lets out a noiseless whimper. And even though he knows that the nurse can't make out his soundless remarks, the young nurse smiled at him.

"Now, for your injection..." JaeJoong hummed when the nurse began to speak, his voice sounding so familiar that it made JaeJoong narrow his eyes to scrutinize the feature of this man before him.

The young nurse slowly took off the mask, pulling the garter off his ears to reveal himself. "Hi, Jae..." said the man, making JaeJoong gasp.

"ChangMin?" He asked in complete bewilderment. "What are you doing here?..."

ChangMin, his boyfriend of three years hushed him. "It's so sorry, Jae. But I'm here... Sorry... It's been three weeks since my last visit."

It's true, for three long weeks, ChangMin hasn't been visiting him. It added to his concerns, thus making him more stressed out. At first, he thought that the doctor had given up on him. That the last time he saw ChangMin cry on his bedside was tears of farewell, and after that their relationship would be no more but a beautiful memory to keep him alive and given him strength to move on. He cried at those lonely nights, but he couldn't bring himself to hate ChangMin for not showing up. He blamed no one, solely accepting his fate while bearing with the pain alone.

He leaned closer to his lover, his boney and cold hands cupped his lover's cheeks while tears from so much longing built up inside until the mark of loneliness shows on his eyes. "Where have you been? My ChangMin, I've missed you so..."

ChangMin placed his hands on top of JaeJoong's cold ones. His lover's hands are so cold that he can feel the other man's life slipping off his fingers. And as scared as he was to lose the love of his life before, Now he's completely terrified. "I'm sorry... I've been stubborn... I did this to you... If only I've had listened to your complains before, then you wouldn't be suffering this much..." he stuttered on hid last words. And he's almost ashamed to let his lover see his tears.

"It's not your fault that I'm sick... It's been predestined for me to have this kind of sickness..." JaeJoong continued to sob and whimper, and even though he's tired and his back is slowly starting to ache, he keeps himself in place to make his lover comfortable as of he's not suffering. He closed his eyes, his lips begins to tremble and now he begins to think of the inevitable. "Don't worry, ChangMin. You're a good person... You're loving and kind...I'm sure you'll find someone else after I pass onto the next world."

ChangMin shook his head continuously, in such strong disapproval to his lover's painful words. He continued to cry, continued to mourn. "I won't love again..." said ChangMin. "I won't be able to love again..."

"You will, ChangMin... You will... Find someone who can love you more than I can... Find someone who will grow old with you and make you happy..."

Again, ChangMin shook his head stubbornly, resisting to listen to what seems to be his lover's last words. "I won't... Because they're not you... They can't make me happy because all I will feel is the sadness of losing you..."

JaeJoong smiled with his lover's bittersweet words. His hands on ChangMin cheeks slides down to the other man's shoulders, and then he leaned closer to brush his lips against ChangMin’s soft ones, slowly turning the affectionate action into an endearing kiss.

After releasing from the kiss, JaeJoong couldn’t even gather enough strength to look at his lover in the eyes. Even with ChangMin beside him, he feels lonely. He feels this black hole inside his heart that resembles to the feeling of much longing. And though it hurts to think the love of his life loving someone else in the future, he has to let him go. “You’re a good man, ChangMin…” he whispered, his hands trembling as his world begins to crumble for the nth time after realizing his nearing death. “My last wish… My death wish is for you to love someone else, for you to be happy…”

“But Jae…”

“Say no more… I want you to fall in love again.” JaeJoong whims as he pleaded his wish. He holds onto his lover’s hands and then say the things that he has to say even though it hurts. “I don’t want you to die lonely because of me. Find someone else. Find someone who’ll love you and cherish you… Learn to love again so you can feel what I feel every time I look at you…”

ChangMin remained quiet, his lips pursed tightly as if using anger as a weapon against JaeJoong was something he’s never really used to. He moves his head in agreement though he didn’t want to. And before he left the room, he made sure to inject the said medication to JaeJoong.

“Sleep soundly, my love…” And then he left.

+++++

ChangMin rushed and paced out of the hallways, he made sure to wear the face mask once he was near the nurse’s information center. He passed using the elevator, running down the stairs so he could make way to his office.

He took a step forward to his desk, opening the under case of his table to spot the hidden plastic full of unlabelled tubes full of medicines. He grabbed both the yellow and blue tubes, one being the anesthesia and one is barbiturate acid. He inhaled loudly, as if it’s the last breath that he’ll ever experience.

He opened both caps, tapping the bottles to pour out numerous drugs, and then he drank them all. No warnings. No tears. No goodbyes. He just did. And it didn’t took look enough for his body to feel the strong effects of the medicines he took.

He felt his head hitting the pointy edge of his table, his feet wobbling and giving up on him. And then he felt as if air was out of his system, making him breathless…

+++++
 

The next morning, Shim ChangMin’s cold body was found and reported by his assistant. He was brought immediately to the forensic team. Not long after that, a nurse at the fifth floor reported the sudden then of a patient at the I.C.U. The patient named as Kim JaeJoong. He was sound asleep, as if his death came on its own. He was brought to the morgue, and was pronounced biologically dead at 4:00 in the morning.
 

The forensic team declared the doctor’s case as suicide. Overdose from neuro-paralyzing medications.

Both funerals were held at different places. And both families mourn for such tragic lost. Still, they wondered though. On the morning of the final burial the wind was so calm, and the sun shone its brightest. It seems as if no one had died.

In the end, they didn’t know that it’s a homicide-suicide.
 

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A oneshot for e1i2a02

AHOHOHOHO! I hope you enjoy the angst(?)

xD