A bright afternoon accompanied the two young men as they walked the streets of Gangnam on the 7^th of May. There was something they both needed to do, said the older before convincing the previously raven-haired other to walk with him to the Han River.

“You told me not to bring anything but why do you have that big backpack around your shoulders?” the younger asked as he was stretching his neck upwards to breathe some fresh air.

"You'll see, Tao." The taller responded laconically.

"Here, let me carry it for you." Tao offered as he was already pulling down the shoulder straps from Kris' shoulder.

Kris objected, swerving away from Tao. "No, I'm good."

"Gege..." Tao eyed him. "Just let me carry it. I wanna carry it for you."

After few seconds of deliberation, Kris complied. He couldn't really say no to Tao. Always.

"What do you have inside..." Tao tried to open the zipper when Kris abruptly held his hands to stop him. “Later, Tao. I prepared something special.”

For a quarter of an hour, they both kept on walking; avoiding occasional eye contact from whenever they hear sudden gasps and whispers from the crowd.

“Is that Kris and Tao from EXO?”

“No way it’s them. EXO’s preparing for their comeback at the moment. They must be back at the SM building rehearsing or whatnot.”

“Oh my god. It’s got to be them.”

Whispers here and there reached the boys’ auditory senses. Apprehension slowly rose within Tao as more and more people kept speculating of their identity. “Gege…”

“Just keep walking, faster if you may. We’re almost there.” Kris assured him.

They couldn’t hold hands, much to Kris’ dismay. There were too many eyes that watch their every move. He greatly wanted to reach out and grasp the hand of the now anxious Tao to assure him that he’s got this; that they can still live a normal life despite the career choice they made; that, amidst all the uptight regulations that were binding them, they can still have a near-to-normal relationship and still do normal couple stuff.

Tao heaved a sigh as he quickened his pace to match with Kris’. “I don’t think you know what you got us into, gege. Of all the places to hang out, you chose the bay area of Gangnam where people, old and young alike, frequent. And it’s nearing sunset. Tourists love a freaking sunset!”

Kris gave an involuntary chuckle. “Oh no, Tao. I think you don’t know what you’re missing out on.” He turned his head a tad bit slightly to look at Tao.

As they were walking by a subway station exit, Tao heard someone call them from behind, “Excuse me… But are you guys Huang Zitao and… niu zai?”

Laughter escaped Tao’s lips as Kris kept his composure and didn’t say a word. “She called you niu zai!” and more laughter ensued.

The fan was taken aback by Zitao’s reaction. Her wide eyes slowly changed to match her now slightly curving figure similar to a show of embarrassment and awkwardness.

“May I have both of your autographs, please?” She managed to blurt out as the two idols politely waited for her request.

“Sure.” Kris answered rather stoically, expression void from his face.

The sun is about to set. Orange and yellow hues are slowly filling the skies of Gangnam. And the backpack of a certain black-haired basketball enthusiast grows heavy by the second on Tao's shoulders as if its contents yearn for its purpose to take course in the lives of the two boys.

“Just sign ‘Niu zai” for her.” Tao excitedly kept on repeating as the fan pulled out a small book from her bag.

As if time was of the essence, the signatures were hurriedly. They needed to get to their destination before darkness looms over.

“How close are we?” curiosity got the better of Tao.

“Do you see that basketball court over there? The one with the big outdoor led lights.” Kris raised his arm, gesturing to a lone basketball court beside the bay area.

Tao stopped by his tracks. “Oh hell no…”

“What?” Kris halted a few steps ahead before turning around to find Tao just standing there with his back slouching, dreading the sight of a basketball court. “Come on. There’s not much time.”

“Of course there’s no time. I ain’t giving time to play basketball with you.” The now disappointed idol bent his knees to sit down on a squat position, making the backpack bounce against his back. “My legs are tired from daily rehearsal, not to mention walking for an hour today, and you bring me here in secret just so you can play basketball? Are you for real?”

Kris walked over to where Tao was sitting and reached out his hand. “Oh this is real, Tao.” He eyed the younger, pleading him to take his hand. “Come on.”

With another puff of breath, Tao gave up a display of tantrums and stood up. “Let’s go and get this, whatever this is that you planned, over with.”

“Thanks, Tao. You won’t regret it, I promise.”

As they approached the corner of the basketball court, the side fronting the river, Kris removed the backpack from Tao and threw it on the ground and quickly ped it.

“What do you have in there anyway?” Tao peered from behind Kris, patience leaving him.

Then, a spherical shape gradually came into view as Kris was grasping it with his fingers.

“For the love of-!”

“It’s not what you think.” Kris held out a finger at Tao, stopping him from whatever explosion of profanities that may leave his mouth. They were there for a reason. “This, Tao, is a basketball.”

“I can see that.”

“Good. It’s my basketball. I’ve kept it since high school and obviously it means a lot to me.” Slowly, Kris walked backwards away from Tao as Tao stood rooted on his spot with the cool bay area breeze blowing his hair. Kris approached the three-point line and did a few crossover dribbles before performing a jump-shot.

Within a 15-meter radius can be heard the sound of a ball colliding with the backboard followed by the oh-so-familiar sound of a basketball net’s vibrations as a player performs a successful shot.

“You still got it in you.” Tao was quick to compliment.

“Yeah.” Kris jogged back to where Tao was standing, ball between his hands. “Feels good.”

Tao kept quiet as the harmony of leaves engulfed them along with the symphony of the cold wind from the Han River. A perfect view of the bridge across the river graces the eyes of everyone who was fated to pass by the area. Its reflection on the water danced among the ripples. A flock of birds flew overhead, migrating with their usual triangle shape formation. The night is young, so it seems.

For the umpteenth time, Tao breathed out a sigh. “So why did you bring me here?”

“I know how you love beaches.” Kris gazed at the lit bridge across from them. “Can’t really bring you to the nearest beach right now, so I thought I’d bring you here.” Kris cradled the ball in his hands; rotating it between his palms; tracing the black rubber lines with his fingers. “You remember how we’re taught of Chinese symbolism back in high school?”

“Not really. Why?” Tao answered bluntly, maintaining a flat affect to allowing Kris to explain further.

“Well…” Kris gradually walked to where Tao was standing. When their feet were a few inches apart, Kris whispered, “Give me your hand.”

Tao hesitantly raised his right arm towards Kris. “Gege, people might be watching.”

“I don’t care.”

Kris gently held Tao’s hand as he placed the ball on it. He got Tao’s other hand and guided it towards the ball as well, making sure Tao is holding it securely. “Hold onto it, okay?”

Tao could only nod.

He felt his hands getting sandwiched in between Kris’ bigger hands and the ball – firm and secure.

“Just like the moon tonight, this ball is round.”

Kris waited for a few seconds for Tao to give another round of his sarcastic comments. But to both their surprise, Tao remained silent, looking intently at the ball in between their chests. With the peaceful silence, Kris continued.

“Circles are important in the Chinese culture, right?”

“Yes.” was all Tao replied.

“And they symbolize wholeness, revolution, perfection, infinity, focus, completion… everything – a whole sense of everything. Just like how everything works with the planets revolving around the sun in a circular pathway; just like how one puts a stick to the earth and draws a circle on the ground; like how the Yin and Yang form a perfect circle divided by a sinuous line and stands for the oneness of conflicting forces inside everything.”

By this time, Kris’ hands were trembling slightly, his breathing now in an unfamiliar rhythm. And Tao felt all of it.

“Tao…” Kris spoke with a quavering voice. “I know the past year had been rough for us. Constant dance rehearsals, near daily visits to the airport, sleepless nights… It’s been a wild ride, but we managed to pull through.”

The wind blew strongly from behind Tao, blowing his hair into a messy tangle of strands with a few patches of it covering his eyes. He felt Kris give his hands an even firmer hold.

“I know you long for moments where strolling under the moonlight night can just be any normal night. I see how you look at those couples who sit on benches every time our car passes through the city’s parks."

As if on cue, Tao snapped his head to a nearby couple sitting on the nearest park bench a few meters from the basketball court. Their heads together, arms entangled as their fingers interlaced.

"I know how you feel, Tao. And I’m sorry for not being able to do anything to change that.”

Tao raised his head with eyes sparkling as the lights from the basketball court reflect on them. “It’s okay, gege. It’s not your-”

“Let me finish.” Kris took a deep breath. Looking straight at Tao’s dark eyes, he continued. “Tao, I want you to know that I don’t regret my life choices. I want you to know that I thank my lucky stars for aligning my fate with yours.”

Tao pursed his lips, attempting to hold back tears as they were starting to form behind his eyes. His soft heart couldn’t hold onto emotions for so long.

“Tao, this basketball helped me when I was in high school. During those stressful exam weeks, days of familial arguments, it aided me bringing back my focus in my life. This thing made me feel whole and I would always feel incomplete every time I couldn’t find it."

Another deep breath.

"The past years, I couldn’t play with it anymore. Things became different gradually. I would lose my focus sometimes. I don’t even know how I managed to pull through. But tonight... Tonight, I want it to meet the person who’s the source of strength and focus in my life right now; the one who makes me feel whole; the one I let my life revolve around on; the one who fills my imperfections.”  

A tear slowly glided down Tao’s cheek. Not wanting to look away and also not wanting to remove his hands in between Kris and the ball, Tao blinked the tears to flow out.

“Tao, you are my whole sense of everything. Just like how the moon beams down on us tonight; just like how light dances on your eyes as I stare at them; just like how the bridge’s reflection appears on the river’s surface as we stand across from it. This, Huang Zitao..." he grasped Tao's hands tighter, if that is even possible, "is our own circle of everything.”

Kris slowly let go of Tao’s hand as he looked at Tao’s trembling figure, obviously trying to hold all of his emotions in.

“I’m sorry for making you cry in public. It's just that... I know we're not privileged to do these things everyday - these simple things like going to the park, watching a beautiful sunset, or just sitting side by side by the Han River. These little things..." he ruffled Tao's already messy hair. "For tonight, I really wanted you to experience them, even just for tonight. Call me selfish or whatever but I don't care if people will see us together. I just want to be here and spend time with you. I want-”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” tears started to escape Tao’s eyes once again. “And I’m crying out of pure frustration because I know we’re both not allowed to do that in public.” A few sobs shook the martial artist’s shoulders. “I can’t even hold your hand on the way home. It’s unfair.”

Kris looked around to survey the scene. They were standing near a tree by the corner of the basketball court, its big branches giving a generous amount of shade from the court’s bright lights. Not that dark, just enough to let a few shards of light pass through the leaves. With a firm resolve, he snatched the ball from Tao’s hands and dropped it on the ground.

Tao felt his forearms being gripped firmly as he was being pushed further into the dark side of the tree - a few feet deeper.

When Kris was sure they were hidden enough, with his form sheltering Tao’s, protecting him from any onlookers around, Kris held the hood of Tao's jacket and pulled it over Tao's face as he leaned forward to close the distance between his lips and Tao’s.

Darkness was all Tao could see. His vision was futile the moment Kris covered their faces with the hood of his jacket. And in darkness, he stayed for a while.

Tao felt Kris leaning onto him more as the kiss lasted a few seconds longer than it should have. His weight was making Tao lean back. To keep his balance, he gripped tightly onto Kris' shirt - the brush of his fingers on Kris' chest sent overwhelming sensations on the older's body.

Sensing Tao's uncomfortable position, Kris wound an arm behind Tao’s lower back for support and his other hand began caressing Tao’s hair.

The river breathed out a strong gush of wind and blew the jacket’s hood away from their faces. People passed by, oblivious of the silent sound of beating hearts by the river. The night, as it seemed, was young. As young as two lovers’ souls longing for time to drift painfully slow as they share their own bond of infinity.

Right when seconds felt like hours, Kris broke the kiss leaving both of them panting and cheeks flushing pink.

Tao could taste the saltiness of his tears as they stained his lips. But instead of wiping them away from his face, he gave Kris a thankful smile.

“I love you so much, Huang Zitao.” Kris smiled back, his lips quivering. Then a spontaneous teardrop slithered down Kris’ left cheek. “Happy 13 months.”

“Happy 13 months, EXO.” Tao replied, now beaming with joy.

Kris reached out to wipe the tears from Tao’s face. “We are…”

Instinctively, Tao raised his right arm at chest level, holding his thumb out, Kris following his lead.

“One.”