When you’ve lost something, you look for something similar, find closure, and recover

so why, I think as warmth seeps through the lean arms wrapped around me, why is it that i'm unable to forget. 

forget your stupid infectious laugh

forget your smile

forget the rythm of your heartbeat against my palms

I ask myself this every second of everyday while I'm wrapped up in him, someone who's not you, someone who is supposed to be better for me than you were.

someone who remembered my birthday

someone who knew my favourite songs

someone who didn't leave

As his breath ghosts my neck and a single bead of perspiration falls from his hair to my nape, as his touches nagivate their way across my body, still, the only one I think of is you.

and I wonder. How wrong is it of me to know the exact number of days since your lips had parted from mine and anticipate counting those days from zero.