Bright sunshine and a cold breeze – perfect weather – as Jongin would always say. A smile creeps upon his face. It’s been a long time since he got off work with the sun still in sight. Good old restaurant and a trip down Myeongdong sounds like a good plan, after all he hasn’t taken out Luhan that much recently.

Jongin’s smile grows wider by the stoplight. Is it his lucky day? Perhaps and he would like to think so too. He pulls over at the curb, the lady smiles and hands him the bunch. They were pretty and too alive like it was still connected on the actual plant.

He presses the button multiple times, as if it would make the descent of the elevator any faster. Eyeing the numbers as they countdown to ground, he rocks back on forth on his heels.

“You’re early sir.” The man greets with a smile.

“Yeah. Boss let me off early today.”

“You seem in much celebratory mode.” Jongin smiles shyly and nods. “Ahh, that’s good to know!”

Jongin doesn’t notice the rest of the ride and almost misses his very own floor. He hurries out but slows down as he gets near the door.

The flat was empty, or so he thought. It seemed empty enough until he heard noises from their bedroom. He slowly walks over – ballet skills in use, light footing at its best. He peers through the slightly ajar door.

Luhan

in bed

with Yixing.

Jongin can feel the world crumble before him but he’s rooted on his place. He couldn’t scream nor move. And he watches, heart disintegrating and all sensibility and rationality flies out of the window. He drops the flowers with a thud, startling the two. Horrified looks, quick cover ups, and his name being called multiple times – Jongin feels too numb with shock. Luhan dresses up in record time, almost tripping as he slips on some shoes. But Jongin is nowhere near his position a few moments ago.

And it’s too much. A little too much.

 He tries to think otherwise but the whole situation just screams right at him. Jongin sits himself on the stone cold floor, running a hand through his sweat dampened hair. He feels his legs are about to turn into jellies, or a puddle of goo even. He heaves in air sharply but his lungs still feels too strained and lacking of oxygen.

“Jongin…”

 He doesn’t dare look up. He feels his inside churn in disgust as the familiar voice registers to his mind. It was angelic, still too angelic as he remembers it to be. But who would’ve thought how much of an imp he really was. The mere idea makes him almost retch out everything in his gut.

“Jongin!” He stays immobilized with muscles contracting from restrain.  He could swear he can taste a hint of venom in his own mouth.

A hand then grips his shoulder and Jongin swats it away – hard. “DON’T ING TOUCH ME!” The other bolts, almost a meter and a half with shock & hurt painted all over his face.  Jongin’s blood boils, he wanted to slap the hell out of that flawless angelic face. How dare he look at him with hurtful eyes when he should be the one condemned, Jongin thought.

Luhan rubs his wrist, reddish from the swat. Jongin never hurt him before, not until today.  “Let me explain!”

“Clearly there’s nothing to explain.” Jongin spats as he pulls himself up, leaning on the wall for support.

“But there is!” Luhan’s voice begs, eyes welling up.

“NO!” And it was the first time Jongin has looked at him that way. It terrified him to the core. The eyes that used to look at him with all the love in the world are now filled with pain and hate.  “I am not going to listen to any of your bulls. What I saw and heard was enough!”

Luhan’s face turns hard. He honestly doesn’t even know anymore what he is actually feeling. So he does what his instinct tells him.

“Fine.” Everything was washed away, Luhan feels numb. On the other hand, Jongin’s heart turned from shards to dust. He couldn’t fathom how easy it was for Luhan to drop things off.

Jongin laughs, hard and boisterous. Luhan is startled but still kept still. “You are such an actor. No wonder they recommended stage drama back in high school. I think you’ll make a fortune out of it.”

Luhan stares, feeling the weight of each word. His face contorts to uncertainty, even though he knew very well what the other is implying.

“You were so good at it. You made me go around – following you, loving you, giving all of myself for you. And most of all, you made me believe you did too.”

The silence was suffocating. The exchange of air is painfully sharp. Atmosphere turns thick, swirled with silent what happened to us? I thought you love me and what did I do wrong?

Everything‘s still for a moment until Luhan decides to shatter the deafening silence.

“I did love you, you know.” He had a faint smile across his face, with the edge of his lips dripping with regret of what they used to be and have.

Jongin walks away, stopping just before the glass door of the rooftop. Luhan stares with a sinking heart and he thinks regret is slowly eating him up alive.

“I hope you did, hyung. I just really hope you did.”

--

A/N: And that is it! I hope you liked it. I hope you didn't get confused or something.Thank you for reading! :)