The Heroic Act of the Heartbreaker

It is exactly 8:01 am right now and I am late for school! Damn that Young Bae, it was his fault. I dreamed about him. I was choking him with my hands and I must’ve liked it so much because I kept doing it even after he was dead. My mother had to wake me up this morning and I usually just wake up by myself. I didn’t even get to eat breakfast! I’m hungry!

Oh who cares whose fault it is that I’m late? Need to get to school quick! Oh no! The school gate is about a quarter mile away and I can see it closing. Damn! I don’t want to lose points in my college entrance exam!* Someone please help me…

I go around to the back of the school. Maybe I can jump over the wall without anyone noticing. Then I can just go to class and act like I woke up early today.

As I was trying to hang on to the branch of the tree that was inside of the school (trying to climb over the wall), someone called my name. I turn around. It was Choi SeungHyun.

“Come with me,” SeungHyun grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a big tree. Behind the tree is the school wall. SeungHyun grabs the end of a thick rope attached to a nail that is on the middle of the wall and carefully pushes the wall down. Omo! It was a big piece of broken wall shaped almost like a square! He ushered me to go first. I did. After we both got inside the school, he lifted the broken part of the wall and placed it back where it belonged just like a puzzle piece.

I’m reflecting on what just happened. 

“Shh…don’t ever tell anyone, okay? Not even your best friend. I’m just helping you out because you seem like a nice girl,” SeungHyun smiled as he talked to me.

How awesome is this guy?

As we walk together to our homeroom, I started to get the confidence to talk to SeungHyun.

“Since when have you been doing that?” I ask, curious as to how he managed to make a secret passageway without anyone knowing. He told me that he discovered that broken piece of wall the first year. He only added the nail and rope so that he could control the fall of the wall so that it wouldn’t break.

“Wow. And no one ever knows about it?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. Sometimes when he makes really short eye contacts with me I feel like I’m going to melt. His eyes are just so…blah. I can’t find a word to describe them. They’re hypnotizing. Makes me feel conscious about my big fat nose.

We’re just a few yards away from our classroom and I’m happy to see (through the glass windows of our classroom) that our teacher hasn’t arrived yet.

“Well thank you for saving my college entrance exam score. I owe you one,” I say, holding up my index finger.

“You won’t forget?” he asks. I stop just in front of the door to our classroom.

Is he serious? I wasn’t really thinking when I told him I owed him one. Now I’m indebted to him…

He chuckles then tells me that he was only joking.

The minute we stepped inside our classroom, I regretted having the confidence to talk to SeungHyun.

It was because we are the last people to arrive this morning (aside from Teacher Kim who’s still in the office) and it was weird because SeungHyun and I were talking to each other. I saw Young Bae sit up when he saw me entering the room while talking to SeungHyun, Dae Sung smiling then frowning, and a couple of girls giving me nasty looks.

Ugh. I thought I was out of trouble.

Once I heard Teacher Kim’s footsteps on the halls, I rushed to my seat in a matter of milliseconds and sat down just in time before he opened the door.

The class president called for us to stand up and greet our teacher.

We sat down again and Teacher Kim started to talk.

Wow...Look at his French mustache move. 

Anyway...*looking away from Teacher Kim's gorgeous piece of hair*...I look at Seungri and see that he is smiling. A very naughty kind of smile. I know what he’s thinking just from how he was wiggling his eyebrows. I shake my head as if to say “There’s nothing going on between me and SeungHyun.”

Seungri crosses his arms and does a dance with his shoulders. That one means “Bullsh!t”.

Then I felt a hot spot on my back. I turn around and see Young Bae staring at me with a scary look on his face. He was burning a hole through my back with those small eyes of his. Like laser beams. His face doesn’t really look scary but it was a new facial expression that I haven’t seen from him before. It was as if his eyes were commanding me to spit out the truth but in a very subtle way. I didn’t know what to do so I just smiled at him and held my index and middle fingers up for a PEACE sign. His body seemed as though it relaxed because he sat more comfortably in his chair when I smiled at him. He smiled. Then winked. Omo.

I face Teacher Kim before other girls see what’s happening.

Stupid Young Bae. If your admirers do something evil to me, I’ll kill you.

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* This Korean high school punishes tardy students by taking off points from their college entrance exams every time they are late.

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The Sweetest Gift

Later that day…

It is 12:03 pm, lunchtime, and I’m in line grabbing lunch with Seungri and Dae Sung.

“Are you sure SeungHyun is not interested in you?” Dae Sung asked me for the fifth time.

“Shh!” What if someone heard him?

“I can’t believe you’re going to score one before I do,” says Seungri. What an idiot.

“For the last time, he helped me get to school early, that’s it!” I was careful not to go into details. I did promise SeungHyun that I wouldn’t tell anyone about his secret passageway. Come to think about it, I’ll be using that secret passageway every time I’m late from now on!

Chee-yah! How lucky am I?

My phone from my pocket vibrates. Someone had just texted me. I’ll open it when we get to our table.

As Seungri, Dae Sung, and I walk to our table, we crossed into So Hee on the way. She walks as if though she's floating on air. Seungri’s walk became slower and that made me and Dae Sung walk slower too.

“There’s nothing like being in the body of a real woman…gives me a sense of joy…” says So Hee. She was saying that to her friend but of course Seungri would know better. He always complains about how he hates being stuck in the body of a boy.

“Aw, poor girl. She is obviously blind. What kind of little girl would think that she’s a real woman with those mosquito bite-like s? And to know that it gives her a sense of joy. Hehehe…How pitiful,” Seungri fires back while So Hee is still in hearing distance. Some people heard what Seungri said and laughed. So Hee gave Seungri a look. She looked embarrassed and took off from the cafeteria as people continued laughing.

“Seungri, look what you did,” I say, feeling sorry for So Hee. Not because she has small s, but because she was embarrassed in front of other people. Seungri smirks.

“Exactly as I had intended. That witch should know who she’s messing with.”

“I think her s look fine,” says Dae Sung.

...

Seungri and I stared at him for some time without saying anything.

“The point is,” I start. “There’s a time and place for everything. She’s just human and she’s not gay like you, so tone the ing down when you’re in public.” I hit Seungri’s head with the back of my chopstick as we settle down in the usual table that we usually sit at. Seungri just rolled his eyes.

“Omo! What’s that?” Dae Sung is points at a small green container sitting on our table. It has a yellow ribbon tied around it. On top of the container was a heart-shaped note saying “To Hyun Ok”.

“Open it!” Seungri yelled at me.

“I will, I will! Relax!” I yell back.

I wonder what’s inside this thing…Worms? Chicken guts? Nasty pictures? A Hate letter? Trout? (Ugh.) Feces? Dead bird? (Aw…) Cockroaches? Pickled fish? Dirt? Cow loins? Let’s see…what else have I gotten from people before…

“For So Hee’s undeniably flat just open it!” the Impatient Gay Guy shouted.

“Alright, alright! I’m opening it! See…I took the ribbon out…” I’m kind of nervous as to what I will see inside the container. Heaven only knows.

Ah!

“Hmm…why do I keep seeing flat things today?” Dae Sung wonders to himself.

It’s my favorite treat! Lemon bars! But who is this person nice enough to provide me dessert for today?

Immediately that moment I remembered to check the text message from my phone. It was from Young Bae.

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From: MARTIAN BOY

I made it myself. ENJOY! =)
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Whoa? The lemon bars came from Young Bae? The Dong Tae Yang? Impossible! But why would he-

No. No. It’s just a trick. A very delicious looking trick. Must not fall for his lame trick.

...Okay maybe just this once. How can I resist these lemon bars?

“Yummy! Who do you think gave this to you?” Seungri asks me, already chewing a piece of my lemon bars.

“Hey! How dare you take without telling me? This is mine!” I take the container away from him, tasting a piece of lemon bar too.

Omo.

“Whoa. This is good! It feels like heaven in my mouth!” I shout, praising Young Bae’s lemon bars. Now I don’t believe that he made it himself. But then the Life Is Just A Cup Of Cake bakery in our neighborhood don’t make their lemon bars like these. It tastes different.

Actually…this lemon bar taste (gasp) better than my umma’s. I look at the Populars Only Table. I see Jiyong, SeungHyun, a couple of other guys and girls but I can’t spot Young Bae there. I can’t spot him anywhere. Where is he?

“Are you looking at SeungHyun because you know he gave this to you?” Seungri asks me, looking behind him at the POT table. At that exact moment, SeungHyun looked at me and smiled. Seungri gasped and looked at me.

“Don’t be crazy. I know it’s not him,” I replied flatly.

I offered Dae Sung some of the lemon bars but he didn’t want any.

“How can you be sure that’s safe to eat unless you really know who that came from?” Dae Sung asks me.

Seungri stopped munching and looks at me.

“OMG! What if this has poison or pee in it?!” Seungri panics.

“Don’t be crazy. Pee don’t taste this good,” I say. Trust me, I know. (Childhood experience of course.)

I can’t tell Seungri about Young Bae. He knows that Young Bae and I are neighbors but he doesn’t know that I talk to him at home. He will go all crazy on me, saying that I should’ve claimed Young Bae mine the first chance I got.

“Who do you think gave you this then and how can you be sure that he’s not a maniac?” Seungri asks me.

Geez…How can I cover this up?

“I’m not sure who but I’m sure these lemon bars are harmless. Look at them,” I point at the lemon bars. “Sitting so innocently and looking so sweet. How can you accuse them of such a thing?” I ask Seungri.

“Aw…you’re right,” says Seungri, grabbing another piece from the container.

I’m exhausted. I’ve never hidden so many things from my best friend in just one day. First SeungHyun’s wall and now Young Bae. How am I going to explain these complicated things to him one day? He’s very sensitive and might get mad at me for not telling him. I’m itching for someone to talk to about these things too. Aissh…What an annoying day.

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[POSTED: 21 Dec 2009]