i'm so tired and if this chapter doesn't make any sense just know it's cos i'm tired and if things don't tend to connect in my brain when i'm half asleep

“You’re supposed to be dead.”

                “Wow, look who got smarter in the time that I left.”

                Myungsoo inched towards the rock Sungjong seemed to be sitting on, hesitantly reaching for him. With a sad smile, Sungjong shook his head and pushed himself back.

                “Don’t touch me.”

                “I need…I need to make sure that you’re actually…here,” Myungsoo swallowed out, his hand still floating in mid air, shaking.

                “You see me, right?” Sungjong shrugged, his hands in the pocket of his dark blue jeans. “You see nothing but me, so I’m here, right?”

                When Myungsoo looked around the place he was supposedly in, he noticed that Sungjong was right – there was nothing else. It was all pitch back except for the scene right in front of him, which was of a person he was pretty sure was dead sitting on a large boulder.

                “…What’s going on?”

                “You finally decide to ask that?” The younger smiled, letting his arms loosen as he took them out of his pockets and pushed them against the rock. “I don’t know, this is all you. What is really going on?”

                “Aren’t you…dead?”

                “Right down to the core,” Sungjong laughed. “As dead as I’d ever be.”

                “You look fine, though.”

                “Beauty can travel through the walls of death if you’re gorgeous enough.”

                Myungsoo hesitated for a second, lowering his hand. “Yeah, that does sound like something you’d really say.”

                Smiling, Sungjong nodded once more. “So what’s up?”

                “What’s up?”

                “Yeah,” the younger smiled with his lips pressed together firmly. “Tell me. How’s life?”

                “I…I miss you…” Myungsoo honestly confessed, tilting his head.

                A half-laugh, half-scoff left Sungjong’s mouth as his teeth finally showed, his focus turning to the ground. With his arms, he pushed shoulders back up to face Myungsoo. “I haven’t heard that one in a while.”

                The older shook his head in a way that said That’s not as funny as you think it is, his eyes still in contact with Sungjong’s.

                Seeming to get the message, Sungjong coughed and asked, “So who’s this Sungyeol kid?”

                Myungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head once more. “What?”

                “I’m all up in here, you know that right?” Sungjong smiled again, pointing to his head with his right hand. “And lately everything up there’s screaming Sungyeol at my face.”

                “…Oh?”

                “You don’t look surprised,” Sungjong breathed in. “Trying to act all heroic again, aren’t you? Letting your little brother have first pick at everything.”

                “It’s only because I should give him at least that much,” Myungsoo replied haughtily, not even barely shocked that he knew the answer that quick. “You know what I did wrong. And don’t call Sungyeol first pick, he’s not a random thing you just choose, alright?”

                “You amuse me, Myungsoo.”

                “You’re dead, Sungjong.”

                “That, yes, that I am,” Sungjong let out slowly as he nodded his head to the words, standing up with a weary smile placed on his lips. “I’m dead, I’m gone forever, there’s no way you’re going to be able to bring me back to life and I’m glad you’ve finally gotten to that notion.”

                “Even deceased you have a way of confusing everything.”

                “Not missing me so much now, are you?” Sungjong finally got off his stupid rock, his hands returning to their pockets. “This is where I take my leave. Just remember, I’m dead and because I’m, well, dead, I’m not a stuck thought of debt to your brother. Yes?”

                Myungsoo his lips slowly, trying to digest everything he was hearing. “I still don’t get you.”

                “You never did to begin with, Myungsoo.”

When Myungsoo had his eyes forced upon and his mind pushed away from a different reality of dreams, everything was pitch black. He shoved himself around the place to figure out his surroundings only to find that…he was on his bed.

                When did this happen?

                Though sanity half gone, Myungsoo was still able to reach over and flick on the beside lamp to his left for some sight to flow through the room. On the ground to his left was Sungyeol, sleeping, curled up onto his side and making no noise aside of breathing.

                “What?” Myungsoo’s voice came out in a sleep-induced, croaky noise, but it conveyed his confusion pretty well. He didn’t know what had happened since last night – absolutely nothing was connecting in his dazed brain – but he had enough notion to grab a small stuffed bunny on his right, throw it at Sungyeol’s head, and fall back asleep.

“Um, yes?” the girl replied with eyebrows raised. “Why? Is there something weird about that?”

                “No, no, not at all…it’s just…I may or may not have a thing for photography,” L shrugged with a smirk on his lips, his eyes rolling down to the ground.

                “Oh.” A dumbfounded look found its way to the girl’s face, and she slowly let go of L’s arm. “Well. Really? I remember you said that you didn’t like photography in your ‘about me’, something about drawing physically being a better way to be creative.”

                That really sounded like something Myungsoo would say. L gritted his teeth, running his tongue over his dry lips. “Sometimes a change in interest can be good, right?”

                A little crossed smile found its way onto the girls’ lips, and she nodded. “Maybe.”

                L let out an awkward cough, nodding his head towards the table the girl was about to pull him towards. “So…that’s your family?”

                “Yeah, all three daughters, my father’s super proud you know,” she answered without looking at the direction L was pointing to.

                “Three?” the boy raised an eyebrow, looking between the table of two parents and a daughter, and the girl standing in front of him. “Did the third one also decide to ditch?”

                “Third?” She looked back at the table. “Oh. I meant…two. Sorry, slip of the tongue.”

                “You sure about that?” L asked with a taunting smile. “You have another sister, don’t you? What happened to her – disowned? Ran away and got married to a secret loved one? Boycotted the family company?”
                “Died in a plane crash,” the girl whispered, her eyes on the ground.

                The blood and any amount of confidence shed from L’s face, his throat letting out a strangled sound. “Oh.”

                “Yeah,” she looked up, her eyes now glassy. She brought a hand up to slightly dab at it, which turned out to not work very well. “Ah, I’m sorry, I hate saying these things…you don’t even know my name and I’m here so close to bawling…”

                “No,” L protested, his voice coming out just as audible as the girl’s. “You’re…you’re fine. I just…how about since you’re obviously not in the mood for anything, I’ll go back to my seat. You know my face, you know where you need to contact me –“

                “No, wait,” the girl interrupted with that cracked voice of hers. She pulled a small pen out of her hair bun (L looked on with much interest but decided not to comment seeing as she was in that state of hers and all) and grabbed onto his hand.

                Her hand was quite cold in contrast to his, which was pretty warm from his lack of sleep. She quickly scribbled something onto the skin between the back of L’s hand and his thumb, then pushed the hand back, opting to lose her pen on a table to carefully placing it back into her hair.

                “That’s my number, just…please call me, I really do want to talk to you.”

                L stared at the numbers and characters on his palm for a second, mentally noting that he would probably never contact her anyways.

                She let out a strangled goodbye, and L looked back down at the writing.

                “Yoojong, eh…”

The next person that awoke in the bedroom was Sungyeol, and that was only because of the phone that had been laid next to him shining bright and right into his eyes when he’d accidentally pushed onto the lock button as he rolled over.

                “Hngggggggg…” He sat up, pushing the phone closer with his middle and index fingers. He didn’t know what time it was, he didn’t know where he was, and he just…he didn’t know.

L ♥ ;  received three hours ago

yo myung, heres ur next girlfriend (no joke shes obsessed)

                Attached to the text was a picture message that, when closely observed, Sungyeol could see a scribbled girl’s name of Yoojong and then a set of numbers following it, which he guessed to be her phone number.

                “What the hell, doesn’t he know about us,” Sungyeol murmured without thinking. He shoved he phone underneath the bed and collapsed back onto the ground in a midst of sleep-deprivation.

                Just as he was falling back into his land of unconsciousness and happiness, a pile of collected fur crashed into his face and neck, forcing him to wake back up.

                “The ?”

                This time, Sungyeol fully pushed himself up and yawned, looking up into the darkness at the bed in which was occupied by a very comfortable looking person.

                Without too much thought, he propelled himself forward to be kneeling on the ground beside the bed, carefully shaking the mattress.

                “Myung…wake up…”

                It didn’t take too long for Sleeping Beauty to finally arise, and he looked just as confused as the real one probably was.

                “See, I knew that was you but I wasn’t so sure so I just…I don’t know what I did,” Myungsoo said in a very drowsy voice.

                “You threw something at my head?”

                “What’re you even doing here? First it’s Sungjong, then it’s you, what do you guys want from me – why do you keep appearingggggggggggg?”

                Sungyeol blinked for a minute before finally getting onto the bed and shoving the other over. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you right now or why you’re so freaking delusional or if you even remember anything last night but just shut up and go back to sleep, we’ll talk about this more in the morning.”

                Myungsoo, whose eyes were still half shut, pulled up his covers until they were covering his chin. “Whatever, just don’t steal my blankies…”

                “You should be worried about me stealing more important things than that,” Sungyeol said to himself, grabbing onto Myungsoo’s blankets nonetheless.

“You can think about it. I’ll be in the bathroom if you need me, okay?”

                Myungsoo looked away at the ground, conflicted, but he still nodded.

                Sungyeol slid his phone into his right  sleeve and stood up. He didn’t know where the bathroom was, but he didn’t need to go anyways. He just needed a place to talk in secrecy.

                When he found himself face to face with a sliding door that led to outside, he quietly got his way through to find a tiny backyard that was no bigger than his own. There was a simple patch of grass on the side with a concrete patio and a table with about six chairs.

                It didn’t take him long to get L’s number on the other line, the phone ringing as Sungyeol took a seat on the ground beside a perfectly functional chair.

                “…Sungyeol?” L picked up as if he hadn’t even remotely been expecting the call.

                “Yeah,” the other replied, shivering. “Look, I need your help.”

                “My help? With what? Aren’t you having fun at home with Myungsoo?”

                “Well, not as much as I was expecting,” Sungyeol admitted. “Your brother’s a lot denser than you, you know that?”

                “Denser?”
                “He doesn’t know I like him.”

                There was a momentary pause. “Wow. Ok. I didn’t know that either, it seems.”

                Sungyeol shuddered, remembering just now about how Myungsoo had recently told him L liked him. So maybe L wasn’t the best person to go to for this.

                “You know what, never mind –“

                “No, no,” L interrupted, coughing. “Just…just tell me. You already started and I’m already listening. Might as well finish, right?”

                Would it be easier this way?

                “I tried telling Myungsoo that I liked him, but he didn’t exactly respond the way I expected him to.”

                “Which was?”

                “I don’t know? Accept my feelings, get a little freaked out? Anything of the sort that did not include getting confused.”

                “Myung’s a special kid,” L stressed as if he weren’t the younger one. “He doesn’t really get anything the first time you say it. Or the second. Or the third. Or at all, really. Hey you know what’d be a better idea, you should just not tell him at all!”

                Knowing what L was aiming at, Sungyeol just laughed into the phone. “You know I can’t do that. Keeping feelings in secret is one of the things I hate the most.”

                There was at least a two minute pause.

                “It is?”

Maybe that’s why he doesn't like me, L, somewhere miles away and sitting by himself in a nice, laced-clothed table with loose sounds of talking and music going on in the background, thought.

“Hey Myungsoo,” Sungyeol whispered into the younger boy’s ear. He twitched, giving his friend an elbow to the stomach as a response.

                Sungyeol kept silent, only pulling Myungsoo over so that he was laying on his pack. “Just listen to me right now before I lose my sense of courage.”

                “Why even bother whispering,” Myungsoo sarcastically groaned, eyes still closed.

                “Oh, yeah.”

                “Go back to whispering, your voice is loud and I wanna at least be half asleep.”

                “Drowsy you’s a lot more straightforward and cranky,” Sungyeol observed. “Just sayin’.”

                “Shut up and talk, please,” the younger begged, not caring one bit about his contradictory.

                “You know how I told you I liked someone earlier this evening, right? And then you couldn’t figure it out, so I left you to make a phone call?”

                “Hmm.”

                “I was talking to your brother.”

                “That’s fantastic.”

                “I was trying to tell him who I liked so that he could…aid me a bit. And it’s pretty much an indirect way of telling him that I didn’t like him.”

                “Did he cry.”

                “No?”

                “Fantabulous.”

                “Okay, whatever, you’re weird. Anyways, he told me that I shouldn’t tell the person I liked that I liked them –“

                “I know it’s me, you can stop it now.”

                Sungyeol sat up, looking over at Myungsoo. “What?”

                Myungsoo pulled the blanket up from underneath Sungyeol, who had dragged them with him as he seated himself up, and draped his over his head so that nothing was showing. “I knew from last night, okay? Before I fell asleep because your was taking way too long debating with my brain-lacking twin.”

                By now, Sungyeol was sure his eyeballs were bulging out. “Myungsoo!”

                “That’s all you wanted to say, right? Please say it is because I want to SLEEP.”

                “No!” Sungyeol jumped up from the bed, making sure to trip over the stuffed bunny before running over and turning on the light switch beside the door. “Myungsoo, you have to –“

                “I don’t have to do anything, please don’t make me. I just wanna sleep, you can yell and me and L can scream at me for being a traitor all he wants in the morning. Now please turn off the damn lights!”

                “Well technically it’s AM –“

                “10 AM is ing morning in my mind, now please shut off the lights before I shoot you.”

                “I actually like awake you better now that I think about it,” Sungyeol murmured as he allowed the room to be pitch black again.

                “And I might actually like you more than Sungjong,” Myungsoo whispered to himself before he fell asleep completely.

SHHHHH

CALM

SHHHHHHHHHH

when i feel less like drowning myself i'll update with an insanely L-centric chapter just so i can give myself the satisfied feeling that my bb isn't left alone (and for all you L-rooters too)

no but honestly i still don't know how this is gonna end because my mind's rooting for lyeol but my fingers like myungyeol so

if you're an lyeol fan and you want the story to go in that general direction but you feel like it won't (idk how since i don't even know but it's your feels and thoughts not mine so i can't really have a say), feel free to unsub, i won't cry like i usually do since this time around i kinda get why

but on another note I'M SORRY ;; you know why. if this story was on that "ehh it's ok" part of your mind then you probably don't mind as much (haha see what i did there yes) about the unofficial three month hiatus but if you kept up with it and you actually like it/anticipate it I'M SORRY ILY FOR THAT AND I'M SORRY i really do love you though ♥

on a 2nd note half of the reason why it took so long was cos every so often i'd try to contribute bit by bit to the story so i could accumulate a longer chapter but it ended up only being 2.5k and before i let myself go any further, i just posted it haha

sorry for the long a/n as usual, it's literally like half the entire update LOL

ok good night it's almost morning anyways and i still gotta finish my hw but i'll reply too comments instead who even needs sleep anymore /cries

[[c:33]] <-- holy you guys