chapter 2

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Things to be Grateful for

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If he had to list down three things that he’d be grateful for, then Kyuhyun would definitely write their fans on the third place.

“Why not the first?” Ryeowook spoke up, actually taking his time before shoving another piece of meat to his mouth. He tilted his head innocently to their maknae.

“I thought it was already obvious,” the seemingly annoyed maknae pointed to his now torn up sleeve on his right arm, creating another heap of laughter in their reserved room at a restaurant.

The fan meeting was over one hour ago, and it was a big success. There were some emotional moments, some happy times and one particular violent accident that had Kyuhyun’s sleeve ripped for five inches.

Blessed the sharp-manicured claws of a woman.

It was not like he was angry for what happened on his newly bought suit. The torn part was not even big and he could call for another suit if necessary. It was just the fan was lacking respect and that set his tension on high.  

“Just take it as a wound of honor, Kyuhyun.” Placing his own slice of meat to Kyuhyun’s plate, Siwon smiled, hoping that an extra treat would calm the younger down.

It deliciously worked, however. Kyuhyun never be the one who refused meat.

Kyuhyun loved their fans deeply. He thought the name E.L.F was a fitting choice and yes, he would like them to be his everlasting friend. He even thought more that that; E.L.F were his family whom he held dearly in his heart. Sighing to himself, Kyuhyun remembered about their fans endless support whenever Super Junior was performing. Their cheers were his fuel and he knew he could not angry with them. The fans loved them too much, to the point of not knowing what is the best way to express it.

‘Wound of honor, indeed,’ the maknae smiled at the words. He had to endure their way of showing affection with a big heart. But still, he did not want to be clawed in the future. Maybe he should post in his page about this, just some sweet words to warn them not to be so violent.

“Eat up, Kyuhyun-ah. You need some meat under that skin.” Donghae shoved a pile of beef to his plate, along with additional sauce and drinks. Kyuhyun said a short thanks which went unnoticed by the other who were already busy tendering his boyfriend. Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders.

“Might as well let them be,” he said that to no one in particular. “As long as I got this extra serving.”

“Leeteuk hyung surely takes his time in the toilet.” Ryeowook said with a sigh. He proceeded to warn the other members to leave some meat for their oldest hyung. He had not eaten since morning and Ryeowook would make sure their leader got his daily protein intake.

Ryeowook’s earlier words got Kyuhyun’s attention.

“Ah, Kyuhyun where are you going?”

The maknae smirked before continuing, “nature calls,” and he dashed outside.

It started as an itch.

The itch crawled inside Leeteuk’s skin on his back and it did not disappear even though he had scratched it with all his might. It eventually grew as a cramp and dull pain. Leeteuk used to wince a lot restlessly whenever he was on his seat, shifting the position on his back and hoping that the tense muscles inside would relax. The pain would go after ten minutes or so, but it would come again like a cycle – at least once a week.

But after three months this time, it struck him as a sharp pain. Like having knives planted under the skin and they desperately wanted to go out, wanting to tear the surface. The pain did not go away since he was still on the ride to the fan meeting. It went up, causing a fever and Leeteuk had to hold himself together for the entire event. He knew he must have sweating a lot and some of the fans must have noticed how his hands were shaking when he tried to sign their cards. He managed to dismiss their worry with a soft smile, saying white lies of ‘I’m okay’ to calm their hearts.

At the time their manager decided to take all members for lunch, Leeteuk had reached his limit. He was barely able to sit for several minutes before another wave of fever crashed him hard, and he staggered to the restroom. The meat served was proven to be a good distraction, as nobody seemed to notice his leave, except for Ryeowook who simply nodded at him. 

“Better come back fast, hyung.” The younger whispered while pointing towards their two glutton members who already helped themselves with their second serving.

Leeteuk flashed a small grin, even though it came up only as a twitch on his lips, and walked briskly to the door.

The restroom was thankfully empty and Leeteuk assumed that it would stay that way for another hour or so, because it was not actually lunchtime yet. Apparently change of eating pattern was one of the consequences of being an idol. They had to eat earlier to avoid horde of fans. Leeteuk did not have any to complain, though. Having lunch early at the empty restaurant would mean faster service, and faster service is always good.

Shoving his guilt feelings for locking the door – ‘there wouldn’t be anyone who wants to use the restroom right?’ – Leeteuk reached for the nearest wall and leaned his back. He stood up again however, because the touch to his back only worsened the pain. His head was dizzy with the fever and he stumbled to the sinks, gripping the edge tightly until his knuckle went white. He bit his lips, trying to muffle the moans from the pain, and they came out as heavy breathing instead. Leeteuk felt like hyperventilating but he held himself, summoning all of his control not to pass out when his vision started to blur.

Somehow between his scorching body heat and dizzying motion of before his eyes, Leeteuk heard a familiar voice outside the door, along with dangling sounds of keys.

“Yes, don’t worry I can handle him fine – what? No, no need for doctor.”

A deep, low and husky voice with a tinge of arrogance despite his younger age – that voice was definitely Kyuhyun’s. Another rattled on the door keys was heard and Leeteuk’s body grew tense at the sound. His back started to burn more, accompanying the sharp pain beneath the skin.

“He’s probably just constipated, yeah that’s it. No, no I can go alone – idol’s image, you see.”

Kyuhyun seemed to have trouble outside to fend off people from prying inside, and Leeteuk was contemplating in between his pain and his urgent desire to beat Kyuhyun off from saying that he had constipation.

A click from the door was heard and at that time, nothing could scare Leeteuk more than seeing Kyuhyun walked inside the restroom, jaw hung open in shocked as a sudden burst of white feathers sprouted from Leeteuk’s back. Leeteuk was already half-conscious when the feathers tore the skin like knives, and he could feel himself starting to pass out anytime soon if it was not for Kyuhyun’s arms that cradled him prevented his fall.

The room grew silent, except for the heavy breathings that came from Leeteuk’s mouth and Kyuhyun’s thought inside his brain that flew miles per second. He was on the floor with Leeteuk still inside his arms, bleeding profusely on his back. The white feathers on it that splattered with his blood were becoming scarlet, looking evil instead of an angel that Leeteuk supposed to be. Another group of feathers were laying on the floor, spraying blood here and there in horrifying patterns.

If he had to list down three things that he’d be grateful for now, then Kyuhyun would definitely write his earlier decision to lock the restroom door, in the first place, and another decision to not let anyone come in, on the second place.

He took a proper look to the man that he had been holding to for several minutes. Leeteuk was still unconscious, his features now hidden beneath the white wings, which still marred with red spots.

Should he afraid? Yes, Kyuhyun should have screamed his lungs out by now because it looked like a bloody murder. But instead, a thrill sensation came into his mind and he was trembling, not from the fear, but from the excitement. Leeteuk looked beautiful in red, splashed with blood on his white wings.

Beautiful, so beautiful that it lured him, intoxicating.

It was insane, and Kyuhyun almost sure that what he felt right then was not human.

From another persona inside his mind, he was smiling. A guttural growl and breathy laughs then followed, roared inside his self-conscious within his control.

The insanity soon stopped, regrettably stopped, leaving a trail of demonic whispers echoing inside his mind like murmuring spells.

I found you. I finally found you.

Kyuhyun passed out.