Phosphorescent - Song for Zula 

Suggested by Jaywalkerrr

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hihHmwXLEdo

Water splashed across my face as I grappled onto the sides of the basin. I watched the icy water drip from my face, unable to feel a thing. I was so tired, tired from work, tired of the stress, tired of everything. I simply wanted to go home and rest, to sleep all my troubles away.

But it wasn’t time to go home. I still had a couple hours left in the office. Those papers weren’t going to sort themselves out and I also didn’t want to be the one who had to do it, even though I knew I had to. The other work employees were either buried up to their necks in work or had up enough to be able to slack off without much punishment. I was one of those buried beneath mounds of paper that suffocated me alive. It was not just suffocating, it was like having someone strip you and toss you into a heap of leeches that led on every inch of skin you possessed. What little life I carried, it was constantly being battered down hard by everyone above me but I tried not to give in. Unlike some of my work colleagues, I had something to live for. Well, someone.

Youngjae, my precious Youngjae. He hated the days I had to go to work. He said that I always looked so miserable and that I should be more carefree with my life. He suggested that I quit and searched for another job. But I couldn’t do that. There would be no income coming into the household. What would pay for our bills? What of the fees? What was going to pay that off?

The only reason why I stayed in my crummy, life draining excuse of a job was because I wanted to make sure he was happy. I wanted to make sure that he got everything he wanted. I wanted to see him smile whenever I returned home tired and sickly. I didn’t ask for much.

I remember driving back home with one vision implanted in my mind. I simply wanted to go home and jump into that bed Youngjae and I both shared. The first thing I would do when I went home was that I would kick off my shoes at the front door and call out his name. Youngjae would then brightly greet me back and welcome me with a loving kiss. We would wrap our arms around each other, enjoying each other’s company and warmth. If Youngjae was being playful he would plant a couple kisses at my neck and whisper lovingly into my ear. Even just the thought of it was enough for a grin to creep up against my lips.

Just as my smile made its way across my lips, the rain began bucketing down. Not even the sight of rain could dampen my spirits on returning home and jumping on my bed with Youngjae there beside me to keep me warm. Nothing could erase the thought of Youngjae’s arms wrapping tightly around me as if he were cocooning me with his own body. He would then smile at the sight of me and whisper things that were made only for my ears.

Soon Youngjae, soon I would be home.

When I did return home it was already dark. I swung upon the door and quickly slipped out of my soggy coat. I shook off the remaining rain from my hair as I kicked off my shoes. None of the lights were on but the moon was luminous enough for me to navigate myself around. Youngjae would be fast asleep in bed since he wasn’t awake so I didn’t bother to call out his name or switching on any lights.

As silently as I could I tiptoed into our bedroom and saw Youngjae lying in our bed looking perfect as always as he dreamt of good things. I wished I could speak to him, to just say hello or hear him say ‘welcome home’ but I didn’t want to wake him. I would speak to him in the morning; I could wait a couple more hours. I left him to sleep as I changed out of my clothes.

Still undressed, I slipped into bed and rested my weary head onto my pillow. The scent of wood and spices seeped from my pillow. That scent didn’t belong to Youngjae and it didn’t belong to me either. It wasn’t a familiar smell, it was foreign. It was something foul and it could have only come from something dreadful.

“Mmmmmm,” moaned Youngjae with the sound of sleep plaguing his voice. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “You feel so cold.”

I didn’t crack a smile.