Jessica POV:

He drove me home we didn’t say a word to each other.  Its true, I could never love him the way I used to. I loved him so much, and he broke my heart, that ended everything. I missed him, I missed him so much, but I could never be the same with him now. I don’t love him anymore but knowing that I did love him was hard.  Mostly when he loved my best friend.  We arrive at SNSD’s dorm.

“ Jessica, I’ll walk you to the door”

“no-don’t . Im fine.”

“Im afraid something might happen just let me.”

I just let him no point in arguing. We arrive at the door.

“Okay good night, Donghae. Drive safely and thank you again.”

“Jessica, I’m really sorry. Can we let all this be the past?”

“donghae… I already have. You left me , and I was hurting so bad. You return and you make me hurt even more. I see your face it reminds me of my pain. I see you with Yoona , I feel replaced. – please lets just go back to not seeing and talking to eachother.”

I open up the door and walk inside. I was starting to tear, and I didn’t need him to see me this way. I walk into see the unnies starring at me.

Taeyeon – “ Sica, where have you been? We’ve been worried sick! You look like a mess … are you crying?”

I run to my room I don’t want to talk.  No one would understand anyways. No one knows how much of a mess I’ve been in, no one understands how much pain I’ve been in.

Sooyoung – “Sica, you know we share this room right? Hehe unnie if you want to cry in private go in the bathroom next time. – Sica? Your not even laughing at my joke! Who did it?”

“ unnie! “

I hug her soo tightly. I needed warmth I need someone to tell me its okay.

“ everythings wrong unnie! Why must this happen to me?”

“ Its Donghae. Right?”

“Howd you know?”

“I know you really well Sica, when you burned all the photos of you and him, I could tell something’s wrong.”

“unnie, he reminds me of everything. He loves YoonA. I don’t love him anymore, but still it hurts soo much. What do I do?

“ nothing. Don’t do anything stay away from him.  Stay far away. I’m here to help. I want you no where near him at the SmTown Concert tomorrow in Beijing “

“I’ll stay far away from all boys.”

“why?”

“Tonight… I was walking and I took the sh ort cut through the ally… and…” Im tearing and shaking.

“WHAT? Did u alert the police? Sica, this is serious. Did anything happen?”

“no... Donghae saved me. Unnie they grabbed me, and they were going to bring me to a hotel!”

“We’re going to talk to LSM tommrow. Don’t go anywhere without the manager or one of the girls. Please?”

*knock,knock*

Tiffany: “ Sica, are you only going to tell Sooyoung? We all want to help as well.”

“Of course unnie!”

I walk outside to the living room and tell them about the . I don’t tell them about Donghae though. Only Tiffany and Sooyoung know about that. They all promised to walk with me wherever I go. Mostly Taeyeon, shes the leader and she felt so bad that she couldn’t be there for me. I love you all – Snsd is my life.

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(next day)

Seohyun: “unnie please wakup! We have a plane to catch!”

“Seo baby , its only 6 am please go back to sleep honey.”

“unnie our plane leaves in an hour!”

“OH NO! I HAVE MY HAIR AND MAKEUP TO DO! AND I NEED TO GET DRESSED! SOOYOUNG YOU SHOULDVE WOKEN ME!—O thankyou Seo baby!”

I rush around the room doing whatever I could in so little time. All I can do is get dressed and straight iron my hair. All the girls are in the car , aww they were waiting for me. I drag my stuff out the door grab my Dolce and Gobanna shades and leave quickly.

YoonA: “ Aww Sica, the no makeup look for you is soo cute!”

I just blush and give her a look.

Taeyeon: “ Okay Sica, I worked out a schedule! I will walk with you for the first half, second half you will walk with Sooyoung, then Tiffany, then Sunny and so on”

“Unnie , I love you, and Thankyou so much, but I don’t need all this attention. Im fine really. It way my fault , and I’ve accepted it, so please don’t feel responsible.”

“Fine if you say so, but don’t  wonder off by yourself please”

-At the airport-

Tiffany: “Sica we’re riding with Suju… We can sit in another compartment if youd like.”

“Thanks so much Tif, but im okay. I’ll just look away , its okay really.”

We get on the plane. My fear of planes is unimaginable. Thank goodness Im sitting with Tiffany. We’re sitting across from the Shinee boys , Key and Jonghyun. Jonghyuns always been so handsome. If it wasn’t so in shock from yesterday, I might just for a second think I could maybe love again? Or pretend to. In front of me is Siwon , Sungmin. Then across from them is of course YoonA and Donghae. That should’ve been me and Donghae…