I can’t remember the last time that he held my hand. I can’t remember the last time we even slept in the same room. Slowly he’s been drifting away from me. We used to be really close during our trainee days but since our debut he’s been leaving me. We were together since our trainee days, everyone knew about us. He told me he loved me repeatedly but recently he hardly even looks at me. JongUp is leaving me for Daehyun. He hangs around Daehyun more. He’s always running to him to tell him useless things. He’s always “sleeping over” in Daehyuns room. Even Yongjae has now come to sleep in my room because he told me he got uncomfortable around them. The member’s thought we broke up but we never talked about it. It was kind of just a smooth breakup. I still love him. He knows it. He uses it to his advantage to. On days that Daehyun is out and he has no one better to go to he come to me and asks me to do things with him. Some days I don’t feel like doing anything but he pulls the whole “You don’t love me anymore” card and I always fall for it. I know he doesn’t feel anything towards me anymore I’m just another toy to him.

                Daehyun asked JongUp and Yongjae to switch rooms and since he was the oldest out of the three they had to agree, JongUp willingly, but Yongjae was saddened by this. Yongjae had a crush on Daehyun but he never told him. Yongjae also had a small crush on our leader but what he felt for Daehyun over powered it any day.  When Yongguk found out about the move he thought it’d be a nice idea for everyone to room with someone new. Since JongUp and Daehyun already switched their roommates Yongguk asked Yongjae if he would mind rooming with him so Himchan wouldn’t get bored of him always being his roommate. Yongjae didn’t mind. So now I’m rooming with Himchan and he’s fine. He’s not the most exciting person to room with but that’s also a good thing. I have my privacy and he has his. When he knows I’m in the room alone he always knocks before coming in just in case I’m doing something.  Eventually I grow to like Himchan. Not in the romantic kind of sense but as in he becomes a new kind of best friend. He respects what I do and I leave him to do what he does. But, when I come to him for help he does his best to help. When I’m bored or he’s bored we gravitate towards one another to do things with.

                My relationship with JongUp came to a complete stop. There was no thin string holding us together anymore. He told me he wanted to breakup because he had moved onto Daehyun. I acted as if I didn’t care that our relationship was over. I acted as if I too had moved on. But, really, I was hurt, and I just wanted to break down and cry. When he left I was alone in the dorm. I did what I wanted to do. I cried. I don’t know how long I cried for but Himchan had come home and found me in our room crying. This time unlike all the other times he didn’t knock before coming in. he walked in with a worried look on his face. He didn’t say anything to me. He closed the door behind him and walked to my bed and held me. He didn’t ask any questions as to why I was crying. He just let me cry on his shoulder. He let me ruin his shirt with my tears. Soon after I felt my body gave way and I fell asleep in Himchan’s arms.

                The next morning, Himchan was next to me asleep. I saw that the sun still hadn’t risen so I just stayed in bed. I turned to my side and saw Himchan’s sleeping face.  I knew he was handsome before but that was still with makeup and everything perfect. Now he was barefaced, hair tussled and sleeping. He was beautiful. His skin had a few flaws but it wasn’t anything major.  I saw his eyes flutter open slightly but close once again when the small amount of light in the room reached his eyes. His hand went up to meet his eyes and rubbed the sleepiness away. He once again opened his eyes and saw me staring at him. He smiled at me and brought my face into the crook of his neck. He greeted me; I could practically hear the smile that was on his face when he spoke.

“Do you mind telling me why you were crying yesterday? I don’t mind if you don’t want to tell me.”

“JongUp broke up with me, officially.”

“Oh.”

                He didn’t say anything else. He just held me there. Occasionally he’d look down at me and smile as if to reassure me that everything was going to be fine. I just lay there in his arms. At times I’d scoot up or down depending on weather I wanted to feel his breath against my neck or hear the beating of his heart. It helped. It helped knowing that someone was there for me when I needed them. Himchan didn’t judge me. He just let be there with him. The rest of that day was spent with us being together. He’d only leave my side if he went to make food or go to the bathroom.  The rest of the members didn’t really mind us; we were kind of just background characters in their lives for that day. JongUp smiled at me when Himchan and I were on the couch eating and watching TV. He thought I had moved onto Himchan, what he didn’t know was that Himchan was helping me get over him.

                My time with Himchan became more and more. We spent most of our free time together. Most of the time we didn’t do anything, we didn’t even talk, we were just there.  Over the next couple of weeks Himchan and I got closer as he tried to comfort me. We all saw that JongUp and Daehyun had become pretty serious. Everyone was happy for them. I felt somewhat happy but also sad. We also saw that Yongjae and Yongguk had become quite close since rooming with each other. Everyone found someone else.  I was the same though. My feelings for JongUp till were the same.  Himchan was always there, he never got frustrated with my moping. He always just stayed there.

                One day Himchan left the dorm without telling anyone. He left before I woke up and didn’t return till the next morning. The whole day I was worried about him. I called him several times but it always went to voicemail. That day I didn’t even think about JongUp and Daehyun, my attention was all on Himchan and if he was okay or not. I worried about him to no end. I didn’t sleep that night. I didn’t want to miss when he got home. When he arrived in the early hours of the morning I was in the living room just sitting there worrying about him.  I heard the door open and I ran to see if it was him. When I saw that it really was him I ran to him and hugged him to the point that I thought he was going to suffocate.  It took him a moment to realize what was going on but he soon returned my hug. I didn’t realize it but I had begun to cry. He pulled away from the hug slowly and looked at me while he held my face in his hands.

“Why didn’t you answer my calls? I was so worried.”

“I’m fine. I just needed to do some things.”

“You could have told me. I was so worried something bad had happened to you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you beforehand. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to comfort you either.”

“I didn’t have time to be sad; I was just so worried about you.”

                Himchan smiled at me and gave me another hug. I guess the others heard us and we woke them up. They came out to the living room to see us. When I turned around I saw JongUp with a surprised look on his face. I don’t know why but it didn’t bother me to see Daehyun hugging him from behind with a tired look. I was no longer upset when I saw them together. I had grown used to it. My heart no longer ached. Yongjae looked at me and smiled. He went over to me and Himchan and told us to go to sleep. Yongguk just smiled at us and went back into his and Yongjae’s room. Yongjae soon followed. Himchan said he was going to shower and get ready for bed. Daehyun kissed JongUp on the neck and told him he was going back to sleep. JongUp nodded and whispered something back to him. I was about to go to my room to wait for Himchan but JongUp stopped me. He asked me to talk. I just followed him into the kitchen where he got a glass of water.

“What did you mean when you said you didn’t have time to be sad?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me. Does this have something to do with our break up?”

“No.”

“Then what is it? You know you can tell me anything, I’m till your friend.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re the reason he’s become like this. Even before you broke up with him, he was like this. You just never noticed. You were too busy messing around with someone else.”

“Himchan, its fine.”

“It’s not fine. I don’t want you to be like this anymore. I want you to be happy.”

“Himchan what are you talking about, he was like this before we broke up?”

“Yongjae too. He liked Daehyun but he saw he didn’t have a chance when you came into the picture. Then you broke him too. I didn’t say anything, I wanted you to figure it out and fix it yourself but I guess you really are clueless to everyone around you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“Obviously, come on Zelo. Let’s go sleep; I know you haven’t slept at all.”

                Himchan and I left to our room. When we got into the room I went over to my bed but was pulled away by Himchan. He told me to sleep in his bed. I don’t know why but I didn’t argue. I faced the wall when I got into the bed but Himchan turned me over and embraced me. I didn’t hesitate to snake my arms around him, unlike JongUp. I was always scared to do things to JongUp in fear that he wouldn’t like it and push me away. I slept well that night. I slept with a smile on my face and Himchan’s scent into my lungs. When we woke up later that day I woke up to find the bed empty. I got scared. But soon relaxed when I heard the door open and saw Himchan walking in with a small tray of food.  He smiled at me and asked if I was hungry. My stomach answered his question when it growled from the lack of food. He laughed and put the tray on the bedside table. He got into bed and grabbed bowl from the tray and a spoon. The bowl contained different cut up fruits. He held the spoon up to my mouth as he tried to feed me. I protested telling him I could do it myself and that I wasn’t even sick in order for him to be treating me in that manner. He laughed and continued to try and feed me. I eventually gave in and he fed me a little bit of everything that he had brought in all the different bowls.

                When I was full he told me to lie down again and so I did.  He too lay down next to me and brought his arm underneath my head so my head was using his arm as a pillow. I don’t know why but I wrapped my arms around his torso and laid my head against his chest. He let out a small sigh and I looked up at him with a questioning look. He looked down and smiled at me.  His smile seemed fake but I didn’t question it too much.

                A couple of months went by and JongUp and I were fine. We were friends again. It wasn’t like before but we were still friends. YongJae’s feelings for Daehyun hadn’t completely vanished but since Yongguk was now in the picture he was better. They weren’t completely together but if the other strayed too far from the other they’d go crazy. It was kind of funny actually. Himchan and I were the same. We hardly ever talked but we hardly ever left each other’s side. To this day I still don’t know why Himchan sighed that day. I never asked him. I figured if I was meant to know what that sigh meant he’d tell me.

                Himchan and I weren’t exactly the same either. He had put both of our beds together to make one big one. We slept together and in each other’s arms. We’d always tell the other where we were going, and we’d always be careful of one another.  That’s why when Himchan hurt his hand I always stayed back from practice to help him. He told me I didn’t have to but I felt like I needed to. I felt like it was my responsibility to take care of him.  When his hand was almost completely healed he’d tell me that he was fine on his own but I’d always call him to make sure he was okay. The other members had teased us saying that we cared for one another like a married couple, we’d always just laugh it off and go with whatever we were doing.

                Then one day, everyone was gone except us and we decided to sleep. We went into our room and got into bed. When I woke up from my nap Himchan was still asleep but this time instead of us hugging one another he was holding my hand. I felt something on my finger and let go of Himchans had to see what it was. It was a ring. I didn’t remember having been wearing any sort of rings during the day so it was weird. I looked at it and saw that I was a simple silverband with nothing on it. I took it off to inspect it further and saw that on the inside the words Forever Mine carved into it. I was about to wake up Himchan to see if he knew about the ring but when I looked down I saw that something on Himchan’s finger had caught the small amount of light in the room and brought my attention to it. It was ring identical to the one that was placed on my finger. I put the ring back onto my finger so I could wake up Himchan and not lose it. I woke him up and just like that first time that we had slept in the same bed he opened his eyes but closes them when his eyes met the light. His hands then met up with his eyes to rub the sleep away and he once again opened his eyes.  He looked at me and smile. His smile brought a smile to my lips.

“Do you know about these rings? I could have swrone that I wasn’t wearing any rings when we went to sleep.”

“I put them on. Do you like them?”

“Yea, they’re pretty.”

“Did you read the inside of yours?”

“Yeah, what’s it supposed to mean?”

“You have to read the inside of mine and then yours to understand.”

“Then give me yours.”

                Himchan took his off and handed it to me. I then took mine off and set them together. I read Himchan’s. On the inside of the silver band were the words Will you be in the small cursive writing that was in mine. I then put the sentence together Will you be Forever Mine. I looked over at Himchan and he had a smile on his face as if expecting the greatest present in the world. I looked over the words again and a smile came onto my lips. I handed Himchan his ring back. I put my ring back onto my finger and then looked at his face. He looked as if he had just been beat. He looked sad and kind regretful. I didn’t realize that I still hadn’t given him an answer. I leaned in and gave him a small peck.

“I’d love too, but only if you promise to be forever mine as well.”

                He didn’t say anything he just brought me into a kiss. I could feel his smile against my lips. I too smiled into the kiss realizing that Himchan had always been there for me and that I had just ignored him. He made me happy in so many ways and he had been with me through my heartache.  He had seen me at my lowest and he had been there taking care of me. We broke apart from the kiss and just sat there on the bed looking into each other’s eyes until Yongguk decided to walk in without knocking. He had come in to tell us that he had brought food. He then looked between us and smiled at Himchan. I saw Himchan smile at him and nod.

“What?”

“Yongguk helped me buy the rings. I told him about how I felt towards you.”

“It took him almost 2 years to confess but at least he did it in the end. I’ll leave you two alone. When you’re done the food will be in the fridge.”

“Okay, thanks.”

                I looked at Himchan with a look of disbelief.

“Two years?”

“You weren’t the only one hurting.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just a rebound from JongUp. I wanted to make sure that you no longer had feelings for him and that you’d accept my feelings because you felt the same way and not just because you wanted someone to comfort you in a time of need.”

“Thank you, for waiting.”

“Anything for you.”

“Even the world?”

“On a golden platter.”

                I just smiled and brought my lips onto his. He kissed me back and it felt right. I rembered that when JongUp would kiss me I felt a spark but it wasn’t anything big, but with Himchan I felt as if all the air in lungs had been out and he was my only source of energy. When JongUp and I were together I just wanted him, I didn’t need him. With Himchan I needed him,  I needed to know if Himchan was okay, if he had eaten, if he needed anything, I’d willingly give myself to Himchan but not to JongUp. 

So this is just a small oneshot that i came up with. i tried writting for my ongoing fic but it just wasn't happening and this poped out. also there's been tons of HimLo on my dash recetly and i've grown to love this pairing to no end and i personally feel like they don't get as much love as the other pairings do. i hope you liked it and also don't foreget to comment.