“.. When they try to separate them, Quasimodo's bones crumble into dust..” i closed the book and wiped my tears off from  my face. I was sitting on the window seat and read the france book, The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It was really a sad story with Quasimodo, an orphan with physical deformities who was in love with Esmeralda and they ended up dead together.

I gazed up to the sky, it was already night. The sadness after read this book still embosom deep in my heart. I knew how he felt, he, Quasimodo. Well, a huge wart didn’t cover my eye, and i didn’t have a hunched back. I’m not barely deaf too, but in some other way, i knew that feeling. The feeling when people see that the born of you is a crime and unfairly people hated you for something that born with you, and how an unrequited love feels. But something i could not understand, why would he willing to die with her? I mean why don’t he move to other town and life again?

“kyulham..where are you?” i heard my foster father called me. He owned a night club and he even brought girl with him to this house. It somehow made me kind of disgusted but i could say nothing. Beside he was the one who raise me until now.

I dragged my feet and walked out of my room, he was there and now with the younger girl again. i gave him a smile and let my bang covered half of my face. She looked a little shock when she saw me and my father ignored it.

“like i told you before, she is kyulham the one that left abandoned in front of the club. Maybe some birth of her and don’t have any money to even raise a kid..cih~ “ The girl who clinged to him keep his bare chest and smile that made me want to say something but i swallowed it quickly.

“can i help you dad?”

“i told you not to call me dad whenever i’m with this beautiful girl,ok? Call me ajussi.. where the hell is your brain? You born with that malformed feet and now you showed me that you have a broke  silly brain too?huh! buy me a pack of , i need to use A LOT today..” that girl laughed cheerfully and hug more tightly to my father. I just nodded and slowly took my jacket.

“wait, the money is on the vase you know.. for tonight, as your gift because i am soo happy today, you can buy whatever you want, with the rest of the money. See how kind of me saying that to you!” i just replied it with a smile and walked towards the door. With this dragged feet i can barely walk fast to the mini market near our house so i brought my stick to help me to walk.

The door clinged and the girl who worked on that mini market welcomed me with a smile,”welcome..”

Suddenly when she saw me,the smile dissapeared from her face.

“ahh you, another pack of today?what flavour now?”

“ as usual please. Sorry for the disturbance.” I said with my tone down. She pulled the boxes and put the one that my dad always use. I gave her the money.

“can i have that candy?” she turned off her head and see the lollipop i’ve been watching for days.

“oh yes, you can buy it with the rest of the money.here you are..” i took that plastic bag and smiled.

Finally, i can finally eat this. I quickly the lollipop. The sweetness is..awesome.

Way in front of me, this is not a famous district and you can barely see people here, but this time is different. A lot, well like 10 or more girls there, and they were like crazy for something i could not see clearly. There was someone, i think right in the middle of them and i thought they were fighting over it.

I tried to look,i..IT’S HIM! IT’S HIM..IT’S TAEMIN! OMG YES HE IS I CAN SEE IT CLEARLY! Him, with that famous style wearing a hat to covers his long gold hair,yeah it’s a style, and he looked, well fangirls could be so scary. I need to help him, i think i can help him.

I quickly dragged my stick and my stupid feet to the crowd.

“BACK OFF BACK OFF!!!!” I swung around my stick and let the girls made a way for me to go to the middle because i know they will. They are disgusted of me. i know they are.

“what the hell this ugly duck walk over here huh?” i pointed to the crossroad near us, “ OH MY GOD, IT WAS ANOTHER MEMBER OF SHINEE! ALL OF THEM!!!” and just so as i thought,they were chanted and crazily run to it.

I held his hand and quickly hide on the dark shadow place, i know this convenient, i live here for like 17 years ,ok?

“ umm.. thanks..” he said. Oh yeah,on this dark narrow place i just realize that i still held his hand tightly and i’d been able to feel to experience his breath and how skinny he is.

“errrr..yeah so..i..think i could go..” ok, i am nervous. But then he stopped me, “the girls might be chase after you.You..saved my life. They were, almost me there, haha..” i could barely smile at that time. That is right where the quasimodo’s feel trapped on my head. The feel of love that i could not say, and the thought that he would never love me. it was almost 5 years that i’ve been in love with him. He is the one who with an ease help me and look at me without any disgust on his face. He was so kind,and he always shine. Now he is the star, the limelight and he would never knew me or even remember that he was the one that i’ve been thinking of. The first time when we met, the first time i saw a perfect creature. I almost fell on the stair, i remember it was on the subway stair and he was walking alone. Then he drew me so that i won’t fall and caught my stick. He gave me some smile and, “you must be careful..” then he helped me to walk again then he left. This easy start,easy moment, and the love’s arrow easily marked on me, deep here, on my heart.

“taemin, are you here???” i could hear a girl sounded. A perfect girl’s voice, clear,soft and heavenly beautiful. The shadow of her was so good, she is skinny and tall, she had a long hair too.

“Jessica nuna..i’m here..thanks for coming..” He walked closer to that girl but she might be can see me. Then they two walked closer to the road.

“thanks for helping me..ah..what is your name?” he shouted at me.

“KYUL..LEE KYUL..” i shouted as loud as i can. I wanted him to remember at least he knew that i am exist.

“ok, THANKS KYUL!SEE YOU NEXT TIME~!”

“so someone was there?helping you huh?” I could hear jessica joke on him. The car sounded means they left.

He throwed a chair in front of me and it almost hit me right on my body. I bowed my head and feel afraid. My body shocked and trembled.

“ i am sorry dad..i am sorry..” i was on the corner of the room and sit hopelessly on the floor. My right feet couldn’t shore up my body. He already place his painful slap on my head and hit me all over  on my body, my stomach, my hand. I couldn’t cry anymore.it was all dried.

H e walked closer to me, the angry face of him, he looked like he was going to eat me up and kill me right here. He was going to lift me up and maybe throw me to crush the wall, i closed my eyes and covered my head but suddenly.. the phone rang. He turned my  head to the phone, and he just almost throw me but the phone rang again.

He left me off and took the phone. I still trembled and sticked to the wall. I could not open my eyes, i felt lame and sick. I can’t feel my body without pain. The voice of him changed to happier one and he quickly took the jacket and walked out to somewhere.

I was standing on the line,long line of a fansign. You know, a clothes line fansign. If you shoot right on the stage in front of us you might be blind because shinee sit there. Another fangirl hatred me because of my appearance but some, help me too. I tried to make up my face to cover my bruise but i think it failed.

It supposed to my turn right after this girl, i hope he would still remember me. He smiled but didn’t look at me he just signed it.

“thanks” i said,”wait..kyul..lee kyul ssi is that you?” i was going to walk over to next sign and everyone looked at me. My heart screamed and chanted happily ,’yes yes, he remembered me..’

“do you know her taeminnie?” onew asked him. Taemin nodded, “yes she is the one who saved my life.” i don’t want people to see me, with bruises all over me. He took the booklet with his sign of it and wrote..to my saviour lee kyul~

The shinee member looked at me graceful, but somehow..”did someone punch you kyul ssi?” key asked me. I quickly covered it with my bangs. I hate to be the center of attention.

“no.no..thanks..” i dragged my feet and my stick also and walk fast left that place. The booklet that have their signs was already saved on my bag.  I took a bus today again with a pitiful and disgust look to me.

The night club that i knew was closed. It will open at night. I did not know why i walk to this place, after what he did to me. i sighed and face another path to walk.

“ofcourse tonight that boy will be on his bed..”

“what?really?that lee taemin..??”

“can you just shut up your in mouth..i’ve told you not to say his name..”

“ok ok,sorry but how can you be so sure about it?”

“you know, jessica is my best link. I could order all the things to her, as long as he pay much. You know last time he with that snsd girl.. nobody knows beside us..hehehe...”

“i don’t know that he is interested with boy, well this boy is pretty though..hahhaha..”

“yeah..thats why..as long as it has a hole...hahhaa..”

I bite my lips. The sun has gone, and the moon shines brightly. I was afraid, and sad yet. The stick that always with me was thrown away. I have to help taemin, i need to.

I walked proudly and stuck up my chin, i can do it. i will help taemin. With this gun i took from my father room, now Only one man can save him now, Me.

I entered the night club. It always crowded like usual, the shadow of soulless people.

“kyulhaaamm..what makes you go here babyy..???” a women that named Jangmi welcomed me. A brothel that have a big sillicon s and gaudy make up.

“where is taemin?” i asked her straight to the point. The deep and serious voice of mine made her little surprised. She pretended to act usual and show her big fake smile.

“why are you so serious??there is no one named taemin here, you know all the people here right?”

“WHERE IS TAEMIN NOW!!!” I screamed to her. I almost cry because i was too angry.She held her fake s and squeaked like a mouse. I knew she was afraid of me. i never, scream and angry in front of people, never. People were looking and surrounded all around me. The night club situation was gone. They were all staring at me, afraid i’m going to explode more. Before the bodyguards and some men come to me gave the bum’s rush out of here so i think i need to go to my dad’s room. I hope in this case, just in this case, he could help me. for the first time of my life i wish he could show me a little advantage being a night club owner fosther.

I broke the door in and entered the room. I knew some walk after me, afraid i will do something horrible. I won’t, i only need to help taemin that’s it. he could not handle this situation.

“father..FATHER..” This wasn’t what i thought before. This is nowhere from sanity. This is nonsense.

“FATHER..HOW DARE YOU!!!!!” the tears of anger sneaked out. Here they are, taemin seized in with stark lied flated on his stomach. My father’s eyes sparkled with impurity and rage. His lewd lips reddened the young boy’s neck. I could see the bruise on taemin’s body and some clenched of blood. He struggled in the older’s one arms. He covered him with furious lustfull kisses that it’s not be able to say as a kiss, he was really going to eat taemin.

He ignored me.For this long 16 years of me, he ignored me and keep ing on taemin’s prostate that was really wheedle me to kill him now.

“what are you doing there? Close the door and get out..” he said it like it didn’t matter. That me looked at his lustfull face, the sinner that  i called father. It was out of everyone’s mind, this situation is. He is definitely a sinner, and assassin for my hope and my life.

DOOOOORRRRRR! The horrified sound from this gun made me blink a second. It happens that i shot my father, right on his chest. Without i realize the feel of guilty embraces me. I dropped down the gun and stood still, afraid to make a move. What i just did, it happens too fast.

“kyul...” he called me.He tried to say something but he couldn’t.I will not try to give an idea of his gestures and his tone of the tears which he swallowed as he spoke, of the hands and feet  that’s been seized and clasped, of the heart breaking smile when he saw me, of the swimming glances, of the sighs, the groans of pain and sadness, the miserable and affecting cries which he mingled with his disordered and incoherent words.

I pushed away the corpse of my used-to-fosther-father and tried to released taemin. I didn’t have any idea how this boy still could stick a smile on his pale face. He was seized with chain that made a flesh wound on his wrist and his tarsus.

“i’m sorry taemin.. i wish i could be here for some hours earlier..i’m sorry..i did not know..” i brought him to sit and i could feel he relieved.

“ still..you are my saviour..lee kyul ssi..thanks ” His despondency eyes entranced the heart of my eyes. Not just so long,he moved and covered me. this action already shocked me, but the gun’s sound that break the romance i just feel its shock me to death. Taemin jerked his head and the bullet rushed and broke his organ. He was in agony.

“taemin..” i squaked and cried with my eyes wide open.

“..this is my requite for you..kyul ssi ..” he said it at the last gasp. i wet my face with the tears which is like flooding all the corner of my face. Seeing, him dying in front of me and say my name..

“taemin..taemin...I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU..” at that moment, me who was held by him opened my eyes wide,  screamed out of nowhere with the strong voice that came from deep on my heart. I raised  his dead body and lied him.