"So?", Teddy asked me while I got settled into my seat.

"So what?", I asked back.

I knew what he wanted to know. He wanted to know how Lydia and I had hit it off. I watched as he tapped his fingers on the soundboard in front of him. I took pleasure in torturing him. It was one of my favorite hobbies. Teddy was one of my best friends. He was always there when I needed someone to go to and always had my back, musically, emotionally. You name it, he was there for me. He was the one who set me and Lydia up. We had been flirting with each other for a while. Teddy decided he couldn't take it anymore and just set us up. 

"Don't 'So what?' me. You know what I'm talking about. Start talking, Bae.", he said in his most threatening voice, which wasn't all that threatening. I let out a huge dramatic sigh and he rolled his eyes. 

"So…I had a great time. I guess I should be thanking you. I think she had fun too, because she agreed to go out with me again and because of the text I got today telling me how much fun she had with me."

"Bro, I need details.", Teddy said. "What did you two do on this 'fun date'? Inquiring minds want to know."

"Uh, well, I don't know man. We just did normal date things."

"You don't know? You were on the date, but you don't know?", Teddy asked confused, as I blushed.

"Well, I mean, yea I know…okay. Remember when we were, uh, when we were talking about like the perfect first date would be?", I asked and he nodded with that stupid little grin on his face. "So I just used the date you described because I had no clue what to do for Lydia."

When I finished talking, Teddy immediately broke out into laughter. I blushed a deep red. I shouldn't have been so honest. I should have tried to come up with an original date, or at least tried to pass this date off as my own idea. I was too honest with Teddy and it rarely worked in my favor.

"YoungBae, don't be embarrassed. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you. It's just that, damn, do I know you or what?"

The confused look on my look had him continue.

"That date I described was not for me, man. I knew you would use some of what I came up with for your date with Lydia. I was just trying to help you out. Besides, that date is nothing I would ever choose. Come on."

I smiled at him and mumbled a 'thanks'. I guess I should have known he wouldn't be into going dancing. He hated the way he danced. He even hated the choreographed dances he had to do back in the day.  Plus, He thought he was a terrible dancer. I disagreed. I thought he was adorable, but then again, how much did I know about Teddy being adorable?

"So what would your real 'perfect first date' be?", I asked, truly curious.

"If I tell you, I need you to promise that you will never use this. Unless of course you're taking me on the date."

"Yea, yea, yea. I promise.", I said laughing.

"I'm simple really. Dinner of my choice, laser tag, go carts and then music. If the person I was with wasn't musically inclined, I'd still at least like to go somewhere to sit and listen and talk music. Not to be a music snob, but they'd have to have decent taste in music.", Teddy said and I couldn't help but smile because Teddy and I shared interest in a lot of music. Not that it even mattered.

"I should've known music would be in there somewhere. Music incorporated in everything you do. Anyway, you are a music snob. Always picking at other peoples taste."

"As if you're one to talk. One, music is in everything you do. What's your favorite hobby? Oh, yea, listening to music. And two, remember that girl SeungRi tried to set you up with? You didn't even give her a chance because she liked nothing but top 40.", he said looking at me with squinted eyes. "And, I am not a music snob. I think you have good taste in music. Oh Bae, if only I could find the female version of you, my life would be complete."

I tried not to flush at that, but was having a very hard with it. I know he was only joking, but something about that statement made me flush.

"Actually my favorite hobby is torturing you. Now, lets get some work done here. I have to be out of here a little earlier than usual."

"Ahhh, I see. She really did have fun last night. Alright, let's get to it lover boy."

**

Lydia and I had been dating for three months when we had our first real fight. She got upset with me for getting upset with her, because I found out she was meeting up for lunch with her ex-boyfriend. It actually wasn't the fact that she was meeting up with him. It was the fact that she planned on doing so without telling me. It wasn't like I was raging with jealousy. I was just upset with her secrecy about the entire thing, but of course that turned into me not trusting her. The fight ended by me rolling my eyes and leaving.

I headed straight for the studio. I tried calling Jiyong and Daesung, but they were both busy with promoting their new solo's. I sighed and called the only person I really wanted to talk to, anyway.

"Hello?", he answered and I could already tell he was in the studio.

"Hey, Teddy. It's me. Where are you?", I asked him.

The studio, where else? What's up?"

"I'm gonna head over there if that's okay. I just want to talk."

"Yea, that's fine. Everything okay?", he asked sounding concerned and that made me feel a thousand times better already.

"I'm fine. I'm just…I'm cool. Do you need anything?"

"Do you mind doing a food run? I just realized I haven't eaten anything today."

I looked at the clock and it was already three in the afternoon.

"You know, you should really start taking better care of yourself."

"Yes, I know, but since I have you it's all good.", he said and I flushed, thankful he couldn't see me.

"Whatever. Is the usual okay?"

"Sounds great."

"See you in a bit then.", I said getting ready to hang up when I heard him say something else.

"Hey, Bae?"

"Huh?"

"You make such a great girlfriend.", he said with a laugh and hung up.

I was a caught off guard and was blushing harder than I had in a long time. I shook my head. I had enough problems as it was. I didn't have time to deal with myself going crazy, too. I sighed and pulled up to our usual spot, placed our usual order, paid the usual amount and headed to our usual place.

After we ate our meal, I dove right in, telling Teddy everything that had went down. I liked how Teddy always listened carefully to whatever my problem was and even let me rant before he gave me his advice. When I finally finished my rant about Lydia, we sat quietly before he started talking.

"Honestly, you did nothing wrong.", he finally said.

"Exactly! It wasn't like I was acting like a giant jealous douche or anything.", I said angrily.

"Which was very high of you. I can't say I'd have acted as cooly as you did. Now, how are you going to make things right?"

"How am I going to make things right? I did nothing wrong! You said so yourself!"

"I know, but you're the man in the relationship. So, man up. Take her out to dinner. Don't apologize for how you acted, just for the fact that you fought. Get her some flowers or something and all will be well.", he said simply.

I sat there as he turned back to his work watching him in awe. I wondered what kind of boyfriend he would be. Most likely the sweetest, but why did I care, anyway?

**

Lydia and I were about to hit our six month mark. She was excited and wanted to celebrate big. I wasn't and didn't. Plus, Teddy hadn't been himself lately. He had just recently gotten out of a relationship with a mystery woman and was having a hard time. It showed in his attitude, his appearance, his work and especially in his eyes. My mind was full of Teddy. 

My fights with Lydia started happening more and more often, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I had no room for anniversary talk or even dinner plans when he was in this state. Every free moment I had was spent with Teddy and all my effort was put into making him feel better. I asked him non-stop about the woman who had hurt him. I hated her. It killed me how off he was and I couldn't quite put my finger on why it bothered me so much.

"Why did she break up with you?", I asked one night we were on the balcony, as I watched him light his sixth cigarette in the past hour.

"She didn't break up with me. I was the one who ended things.", he said nonchalantly.

"Then why are you so broken up about it?"

"I'm not. You just think I am, even though I've told you that I'm fine."

"You know all I want is to help you, right? I don't mean to pry. I just, I don't know… I hate seeing you like this.", I said to him, feeling a little uneasy at my sudden emotional outburst.

"Don't be sorry. I know and I appreciate it. There's just nothing you can do to help. Don't worry about me. I'm a big boy, ya know.", he said with a small smile.

"You're wasting your breath telling that. I will always worry about you.", I said, managing to make him laugh a little.

" I like someone. They don't like me back and please save your breath with the whole speech on how amazing I am and how they would be dumb not to love someone like me, because they don't even know I like them. Even if they did, nothing would happen. They're in a happy relationship. So… the end. Happy now?", Teddy asked a little exasperated, but still smiling.

All I could do was nod. He stood up, about to grab another cigarette, I stopped him before he could.

"Too many of those will kill you, ya know.", I said grabbing his hands.

I held his hand longer than I should have. I looked up at Teddy and saw him looking down at me. He wore a look I had never seen him wear ever before. I felt my heart speed up. I realized what was happening, so I cleared my throat and dropped his hand. Even after I dropped his hand, I felt the heat burning my skin at every point our skin touched.

"You're such a cutie.", Teddy said in an attempt to break the awkwardness that had fallen over us, I guessed. " I always said you'd make a great girlfriend. Always worrying about my health."

Teddy laughed when my entire face went up in flames. My entire body burned with embarrassment and something else that I wasn't ready to think about yet.

"Shut up. Come on. Let's go put all your heartbreak and angst into some music, yea?", I asked, pushing him back towards the studio.

**

Things had gotten better for Teddy after that night on the balcony, from what I saw from afar. I was glad. I wondered if just letting his problem out helped him? It felt great to know that I was the open he opened up to. I, on the other hand, was a complete mess after our talk. All I could think about was the way his hand felt in mine. I tried not to think about it, but how could I not? When I wasn't thinking about our hands, I was thinking about the look in his eyes. That look held so much emotion. I didn't know what to do or think about it all. I stopped going to see him everyday. Truth be told, I was avoiding him. Only sneaking peaks when I was alone.

I started to spend every free minute I had with Lydia. In the end I realized I wasn't being fair to her. I broke up with her a week after our seven month anniversary. There were tears shed and I couldn't have felt like anymore of a jackass. I knew I did the right thing, but I couldn't help but feel like a terrible person.

To top it all off, I felt more alone than ever. If there were ever a time I could use a shoulder to lean on, it would have been now. I was avoiding the one person I could call in a situation like this. Jiyong and Daesung were still busy with touring. I didn't even know what country they were in. Top was on vacation and warned us to only call for emergencies. I doubted he would consider this an emergency. I even attempted calling Seungri. When I reached him he was drunk and going on and on about how he could find me another girlfriend in no time. 

I felt physically and emotionally drained. I decided to head to the roof of the YG building with only my iPod and iPod dock. Maybe if I stared up at the night sky for long enough, the answers would just come to me. I put on my music and breathed in the cool night air. I could already feel myself relaxing. i laid there for a long time and regretted not bringing at least a sweater with me. The nights temperature was getting colder and colder by the minute. I didn't want to run the risk of going inside to grab one and running into someone, aka, Teddy. I decided the best route would be to just suffer through it all. That wasn't the best idea. 

I got up, ready to head inside when I heard the door to the roof click. I turned to see the very person I had been avoiding for a little over a month. He held a thermos full of what I assumed was coffee and a blanket. I looked at him and then away. I tried to make my escape and knew I looked stupid, but I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't ready to be around him yet. Especially when he was being so sweet and I didn't deserve it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you, but I saw you head up here. I brought some coffee and a blanket.", he said seeming to be a little desperate for my company. "I know you have to be cold in only that shirt."

Those words sent a chill through my body and I knew I couldn't be alone with him, in this setting. Not when I was having all these feelings that he shouldn't have to deal with.

"See? I saw you shiver. Come on.", he said sitting down where I was standing.

"Uh, I was actually, its not that I don't want to, I just, I'm gonna go.", I said trying to make my escape.

"Youngbae.", Teddy said in firmest tone I'd ever heard him use.

Hearing that stopped me dead in my tracks. I wanted to keep my back turned to him, but I knew this would probably just make him angrier. I turned around, surprised at how close he had gotten.

"I know you and Lydia broke up. You wanna know who I heard it from? I heard it from Seungri. I heard it from Lydia. I heard it from Dara, your manager, Choice. The list goes on and on. You wanna know who I didn't hear it from? You. The only person I sat and waited to come tell me. If you don't want to talk to me about it, that's fine, but can you at least explain why you've been avoiding me?", he asked seeming hurt by my actions.

Hurting him was the last thing I ever wanted to do. I decided to lie to him, which I knew immediately wouldn't work. He knew me too well.

"I haven't been ignoring you. I just-", I was cut off before I could go any further.

"Bull. Try again.", he said walking closer to me.

He was so close now. So close I could smell the familiar scent of coffee, smoke and fabric softener. I looked at him and saw the same intense gaze that i saw the night we talked on the balcony. His intensity scared me. Not because of the anger, but from the other emotion I couldn't quite point out. Or rather the emotion I wanted to see, but was afraid wasn't really there. I closed my eyes and took a deep berth, inhaling the scent that was completely Teddy. When I opened my eyes, I looked up at him and was determined to get the entire truth out there. I was so tired of holding it in.

"Lydia and I broke up, obviously. Or I bore up with her. I told her there was just something that wasn't working for me anymore. I broke her heart. She told me she loved me and all I could do was apologize to her. Apologize for not being able to love her back. Apologize for hurting her. Apologize for being a terrible boyfriend. She asked me if there was someone else and I lied and said there wasn't. Though, I guess I wasn't only lying to her. I was lying to myself, too. I'm still lying to myself. I'm a terrible person. I was a terrible boyfriend and am a terrible friend. I'm sorry. Yes, I have been avoiding you and I'm sorry I just couldn't bring myself to face you."

Teddy walked up even closer to me and put his hands on my shoulders, starting to rub them. This action makes me shutter because it feels so good and I have been fighting these feelings for way too long. Teddy must have taken that as me being cold, because he grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around me. I let myself relish this moment, because I knew that I could quite possibly ruin everything with my next words, but Teddy started before I could.

"If you felt guilty facing me because I was the one who set you and Lydia up, Bae, that's just stupid. I would never-"

"That's not it at all.", I said cutting him off. "Remember that night we talked on the balcony? Well, I don't know what happened. Something happened. I guess it had been there for a while, but I just didn't realize it. Or maybe I did, but I didn't want to feel that way. All I know is that after that night you were all that was on my mind. The way your hands were warm even in cold weather, the way you smiled, the way you smelled, the outfit you were wearing. All of it ran through my head and it was too much for me to deal with. So, I stayed away. I avoided you at all costs because all that was running through my head was, 'What if he finds out I'm in love with him?'. It seems stupid now, because here it all is. So, I won't blame you if you want to avoid me, but I want to remain friends. I don't want anything to change between us."

"Bae…", he started and then stooped and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. "This changes everything completely."

Hearing this broke my heart. I lifted my head to tell him not to think that way. To tell hi I could change my feelings if he gave me some time. Before I could do anything, Teddy crashed his mouth into mine. I was in complete shock, because where had this come from?! I shut my mind up and let myself drown in everything that was Teddy. The taste and feel of his mouth was everything in that moment. When he at the seam of my lips, I granted him access. He tasted like coffee, lingering smoke and the mint of the gum he chewed to try to hide the other two flavors. Kissing Teddy was all fireworks and symphonies and I never wanted it to end. Soon, too soon, He pulled back and I whined a little at the loss of contact. Teddy laughed at my reaction and rested his forehead on mine.

"See? Completely different.", he said with a goofy grin painted on his face.

"Good.", I said hopping up on my tip toes to press another kiss to his mouth.

I felt him smile against my lips and mumble something, making me stop my kiss.

"We have plenty of time for this later.", Teddy started. "You got to confess your feelings, now it's my turn. I know what you felt that night on the balcony. I felt it, too. That night, when I was talking about the person in the relationship, I was talking about you. I thought you were happy. If I would have known that you were this confused, I would have stepped up sooner. I just didn't want to put you in an awkward position. I've known how I feel about you for a very long time already, Bae."

Teddy softly puts his hands on either side of my face. I can feel the blush creeping its way up my neck and to my face.

"God, you're so beautiful.", Teddy says with so much love that it makes me tear up. "I love you, Youngbae. So much."

The second those words come out of his mouth, the tears made their way down my face, only to be kissed away by Teddy. At that moment I realized how foolish I had been to worry so much. All the worries and uncertainty fell away as soon as I looked into his eyes. I had Teddy and nothing else really mattered.