It’s You (Neorago)

By: Anmire

 

“Girl, it’s been a month since you and Sungmin broke up! It’s about time you move on. Those rolls of tissue won’t do you any better,” Hyorin nagged at me as I wipe my tears away.

 

“Look, you are my best friend and I am expecting you to understand how I feel,” I told her.

 

“And what should I actually have to understand, that you can’t get over your cheating boyfriend?”

 

“We’ve been together for more than a year. One month can’t take away a year’s worth of memories,” I answered her while sniffing.

 

“Aigoo, chingu-yah, wake up will you?” she said as she handed to me another roll of tissue paper. “He was unreasonable when he did that. There’s no way I am letting you hang on to that guy.”

 

“Ara,” I replied. “But you do know it’s hard to let go of everything, right?”

 

 

“Ok, enough, Eryka!” Hyorin yelled at me.

 

“What? What did I do now?” I asked her as I put my hands under the table.

 

“Look, I promised to help you get over that Sungmin. But you have to help yourself too. And that starts by not constantly rubbing that couple ring of yours, like a genie will appear!” she scolded me.

 

“Fine!” I screamed back and took off the ring. “I removed it now, happy?” I inquired of her as I hid it inside my purse.

 

“Give it back to him.”

 

“Ok, ok! I will return it to Sungmin.”

 

After that conversation, more like a lecture, I left Hyorin in the café where she works and wandered around Itaewon alone.

 

As I was walking, I saw a couple buying cheap Mickey and Minnie mouse couple rings by the street. I remembered the day Sungmin and I bought our couple rings. It was also here in Itaewon.

 

 

---

“Do we really have to buy it here?” Sungmin asked me.

 

“Of course! So they can engrave our initials in English,” Eryka answered him while she drags him into a jewelry shop.

 

They both spotted a pair of silver rings in a shape of an infinity sign with some crystal stones on its side. They looked at each other and knew then that those were the rings they wanted.

 

“Ajusshi, can we try on these rings?” Eryka inquired of the jeweler as she approached the shelf and pointed at the rings.

 

“Sure! Here, let me get it for you two,” the old man said and handed the rings to them.

 

The two tried it on and it fit perfectly to the both of them. They smiled at each other because they felt so good about the rings.

 

“Ajusshi, how much are these?” Sungmin asked him and reached for his wallet at the back pocket of his pants.

 

“Oh, you are buying it? Perfect choice! 25,000W only,” he replied with a big smile on his face.

 

“WHAT?!” the couple exclaimed.

 

Sungmin paused for a while and stopped reaching for his wallet. Eryka on the other hand gave out a big sigh and said, “its way too expensive. Let’s look somewhere else.

 

Eryka took off the ring and thanked the jeweler and dragged herself out of store. Sungmin had his eyes on her upset girlfriend all that time.

 

“Are you still upset?” Sungmin asked her the moment he got out of the store.

 

“I am. I know I shouldn’t be but the rings felt so perfect,” Eryka answered him.

 

“Don’t be upset. Here take my hand,” Sungmin grasped her hand and held it tightly.

 

By then, Eryka felt something, like there was a hard thing that was in between their fingers. She looked at their intertwined hands and screamed, “You bought it! You bought the couple rings!”

 

“Well, I was going to buy only this one but Ajusshi said it comes with another ring, so yeah, I giving the other one to you.” Sungmin jokingly told her and placed the other ring in her finger.

 

---

 

It seemed like it was only yesterday. I can recall how the Ajusshi also smiled at us from his shop.

 

Now, my hand feels empty. My heart feels empty.

 

“Goodness, why do you keep scrolling on your phone?” Hyorin asked me.

 

“Why, can’t I?” I sarcastically asked her.

 

“Of course you can. But you must not read Sungmin’s messages from before. You’re trying to move on, remember?” she annoyingly told me.

 

“I do! I remember. But…”

 

“Delete it, all of it!” she instructed me.

 

“I…I can’t,” I said as I was staring at his last message to me.

 

“You can. Do you want me to be the one to do it?” Hyorin said as she tried to snatch the phone from my hands.

 

“Stop! I will. Just don’t touch my phone,” I shouted at her and stood up.

 

“Fine. But where are you going?” she asked as I walked away unconsciously.

 

“Ah, me? Uhm, I am going to delete the messages in the comfort room.”

 

“What? You can do it here!”

 

“I’ll do it there. I have to pee, ok?”

 

“Whatever!”

 

I hurried to the comfort room and stared at our conversations. I decided to delete it but not all of it. I kept that one message, that last message.

 

---
 

Eryka was inside her room, still angry from her and Sungmin’s confrontation. They just broke up.

 

“I hate you Lee Sungmin!” Eryka screamed and threw her phone to the bed.

 

Tears started dropping from her eyes and just stood there by the foot of her bed.

 

Then a high-pitched tone sounded from her phone. She just received a message.

 

It was from Sungmin.

“Eryka, I am sorry. I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I can’t forgive myself as well. But I realized I have to understand and accept your decision. You breaking up with me must be the greatest punishment of my life. I am setting you free now. But remember this, I love you. I do and will forever love you.”

 

---
I hate him. I hate him for what he did.

 

+++

 

“Sell this,” Hyorin suggested to me.

 

“Are you crazy?” I asked her, still shocked from her suggestion.

 

“You don’t want to return it to him. You don’t want to give it to me. You don’t want to sell it. What do you actually want to this necklace?” she asked me as she was playing with my golden necklace with a ruby pendant.

“Please don’t tell me you have plans of keeping this. May I just remind you? You are now in the process of forgetting that person. If you keep holding on to things you’ll just get stuck in your past longer.”

 

“Just give it back to me. I’ll think of a way to deal with this necklace.”

 

“Do as you wish,” Hyorin said and placed the necklace in front of me. “I will go grab some cheesecake, do you want some?”

 

I shook my head and stared at the necklace.

 

It was here, three months ago, Hyorin’s boyfriend Steve was there too… our anniversary.

---

Steve closed the shop that day. He baked the best chocolate cake he has ever made just as how Sungmin instructed him to do so.

 

He was serving the couple that day, just Sungmin and Eryka, nobody else.

 

“Happy anniversary, my pumpkin!” Eryka greeted his boyfriend of year then. She handed to him a paper bag after. “I made those mittens especially for you. I knitted it into the cutest mittens so it would perfectly fit you, my aegyo prince.”

 

Sungmin opened the gift and saw the beautifully knitted pink mittens with a pumpkin design on it. He gave a sheepish smile over her present for him and said, “Gomawo! This is just what I want from you. But can I wear it some other time?”

 

“Huh? Why?” Eryka asked as her eyebrows meet.

 

“Well, first, it’s not cold. And second, so I can do this.” Sungmin stood from his chair. Walked over to Eryka, took out a necklace from his pocket and wore it around her neck. “Happy anniversary Eryka, saranghae.”

 

---

I can’t think anymore. I don’t know what to do with the necklace.

 

+++

 

“These flowers just won’t die,” Hyorin gasped.

 

“Leave them be. They may be from him but they have lives. I won’t let them die just like how our relationship ended,” I told her.

 

“Too dramatic. Anyways, what are you planning to do today? It’s exactly a month since you two separated ways. This calls for some soju, you know?”

 

“One month? So it’s been a month. I see,” I whispered to myself.

 

I looked at the white carnation flowers by the window. It’s been around for a month already. It did wither, but they are definitely still alive.

 

---

Eryka’s eyes were too red from crying. This time, they are worse than the time when she first got to Korea. That time, she was just feeling alone and she missed her family back in the Philippines. But this time, she felt betrayed and destroyed. Catching her boyfriend, Sungmin, kissing another girl just made her eyes too red from tears.

 

*Ding Dong*

 

“Someone’s at the door,” her best friend Hyorin told her while she was making kimchi stew for her.

 

“Get it. I can’t let anyone see me like this,” Eryka ordered Hyorin.

 

Without any complains Hyorin went to see who was outside. She is just the best friend Eryka needed. She was by her side when she knew nobody in Korea. And now that she caught Sungmin cheating, she needed her again.

 

“Who was it?” Eryka asked her after hearing the door closed.

 

“A delivery man came.”

 

“I have a package?”

 

“Well you do have something delivered at your doorstep,” Hyorin said and appeared in front of Eryka with a bouquet of White Carnations.

 

“What are those? Who are they from?” Eryka said as she dried her tears.

 

“Are you really asking me questions with obvious answers?” Hyorin inquired of her and rolled her eyes. “I guess this card that came with it will answer your curiosity,” she said and handed to her the small and scented note.

 

“You read it. I will place the flowers in the vase,” Eryka got up and ran off with the flowers.

 

Hyorin gave out a big sigh and proceeded to reading.

 

“The moment I told you I love you, I was sincere. My love for you will always be pure. Accept these flowers. And please accept my apology. I am sorry, Eryka. Forgive me and save my heart. Yours forever, Lee Sungmin,” the note said.

 

---

He was sincere. His love was pure. I know it. He just made a mistake. I have forgiven him.

 

+++

 

“It’s been a while since I set foot here,” I told Hyorin as we look for the bar Steve was performing at tonight.

 

“Same here and now I wonder where have all these people come from that made Hongdae these crowded!” she complained as we try to squeeze in our way through the crowd.

 

“There must be a street performance tonight,” I said.

 

“Oh tell me about it. Besides it’s Sound Day, the indie rock spirit is so alive and kickin’,” Hyorin said. “I can see Noise Basement already, hurry!” she continued and heaved through the people.

 

But as I rushed my way out of the flock of people, I heard a familiar sound. Those guitar chords, those drum beats, those bass notes…and then that voice.

 

---

 

“Oh oh only for you oh oh only for you… Oh oh only for you oh oh only for you… Oh oh only for you oh oh only for you” Sungmin sang with all his might as he do a solo performance before Eryka’s eyes.

 

“What kind of song is that? Are you sure you are letting Oppa Band play that kind of song?” she .

 

“Aish! How dare you criticize this song? Do you know how much effort I gave in composing this?”

 

“Oh tell me about it,” she continued making fun of him.

 

“It’s…” he murmured.

 

“What did you say?” she asked him wondering on what he said.

 

“I made…” he softly said again.

 

“Say it out loud. I can’t hear you, Sungmin.”

 

“I---I made it for you. It’s for you,” he finally said.

 

---

I want to hear this song again. I want to listen to his voice. I want to see him.

 

+++

 

“Hyorin-ah, mianhae. I wish you were with me today. I have to go to Dongdaemun. There’s just so many stuff I need buy,” I texted her.

 

Being a stylist to Korean idols is close enough to experiencing hell. Today, I have a notepad filled with things to buy for them. Why did I ever wish for this job?

 

After buying some pants, coats, fabric and accessories, I guess the only ones missing in my list are hats and caps. I was literally carrying a baggage and three more plastic bags as I go around the small lanes of Dongdaemun Market.

 

“Agasshi!” I heard an old lady call me.

 

“Ajuhmma! Annyeonghaseyo, it’s been awhile,” I greeted her.

 

“Yes, indeed. Looking for anything?” she asked me with a bright smile.

 

“As usual, ajuhmma, I need those hip-hop caps and spring hats,” I told her.

 

“Daebak! Supplies of those just came in this morning. Wait here and I will bring out the best I have,” she said and took a huge bag of head gears.

 

“You have lots today, ajuhmma,” I complimented her.

 

“Yes I do. I even have some new helmets at the back. Your boyfriend might want a new one. Or you can just buy him one now. I’ll sell it for a low price,” she offered me.

 

She remembered that time.

 

“Ah, neh,” was just my response.

 

“I don’t see him with you now. Did he get his motorcycle? You have a lot of things with you today. He must be picking you up like before,” she added.

 

She recalls it perfectly, this ajuhmma.

---

“Aigoomoniya! You have the worst taste when it comes to dates.” Sungmin mocked Eryka for bringing him to Dongdaemun on their first date.

 

“Waeyo? Are you having second thoughts? You can leave now if you are getting bored already.” Eryka told him.

 

“Bored? Who? Me? Just as long as I have you with me nothing else matters. Besides, how can you get home with these tons of shopping bags you have? You definitely need the service of my motorcycle,” Sungmin replied.

 

“Omo, should I thank you, now?”

“Keureom!”

 

“Then let me thank you in another way,” Eryka grinned and pulled him to a stall selling numerous kinds of head apparels. “I am buying you a new helmet,” she informed him and called out to the old lady.

 

---

I love those times. I love how we were happy. I love how we were together.

 

+++

 

“Yoboseyo?”

 

“Hyorin-ah, it’s me, Eryka. I don’t think I can keep my promise to you. I can’t move on. I can’t let go of Sungmin,” I called her as I took my jacket and headed out of the house.

 

“Pabo!”

 

“I know, Hoyrin. I am a fool for going back to him after everything that happened.”

 

“Annio.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You’re stupid. You only found out that you can’t live without him now? It took you so long, chingu-yah!” she shrieked.

 

“What do you mean?” the puzzled me asked her as I get in a taxi. “Samchon, bring me to Gangnam, please,” I told the driver.

 

“I know you love Sungmin oppa so much. I know you will be back to him. I know you just needed some time to be alone and realize that you two are meant for each other.”

 

“And this means what? You’re not making any sense, Hyorin.”

 

“I helped Sungmin oppa. I tried to make you forget so you will realize that you actually can’t. I brought you to Hongdae so you can hear the song he made for you. I didn’t come with you to Dongdaemun so you would remember the times you were together.”

 

“Maldo andwae,” I said in disbelief. “But why would help him? He cheated on me and I am your best friend.”

 

“He did not cheat on you. The girl you saw kissing him is a sasaeng fan. She was drunk and jumped on oppa that night.”

 

“But why didn’t you tell me early on? I shouldn’t have been angry at him in the first place.”

 

“Are you kidding me? You threw a fit that very moment and immediately broke up with him. You should be punished too, you know?” she told me.

 

She’s right. I got mad instantly and did not even let him explain. I was wrong.

 

“Urineun yeogiseo,” the driver said as I see the familiar façade of Gangnam.

 

“Hyorin-ah, I have to hang up now. I’ll call you later,” I told her.

 

“Gajang chinhan chingu, hwaiting!” she cheered me and ended the call.

 

“Samchon, you can stop here. I am walking from here,” I told him and paid for the fare.

 

+++

 

“E-Eryka?” Sungmin said as he opened the door.

 

“Sungmin-ah!” she cried out and hugged him.

 

He hugged her back and kept her wrapped in his arms.

 

“How are you?” Sungmin asked her.

 

She let go of him and stared at his eyes.

 

“Me? I was empty. I hated myself. My mind and my heart weren’t well. I was sorry. I missed you. I love you, Sungmin. Neomu manhee saranghae,” Eryka confessed to him.

 

+++

 

END