Ji Hyo stood at the doorway to the smaller bedroom, leaning her head at the wooden frame with her arms folded in front of her as she watched her firstborn moving about busily when talking animatedly with his father, excitement evident in the chubby little face. The boy used a lot of hand gestures as if words alone weren’t enough to get his points across. His words stumbled one into another, wanting to say so much but not really knowing which to say first.

Her heart warmed at the way her husband listened to their son’s babble attentively, not once did the man interrupt the train of words even though Ji Hyo was sure he didn’t really understand what was being talked about. She smiled at the interaction but not making a move to enter the bedroom to join in. She wanted the boy to have as much private time with his father as he could before having to share again with other people. Deciding that it was best to just leave the room before Hong Lim saw her, Ji Hyo tiptoed backwards – still quite unable to tear her eyes from the two men she loved.

She hadn’t walked three steps when her son’s high-pitched voice called after her. He offered her a lopsided grin that was so alike his father as he ran to her and flung himself at her, wrapping his arms around her frame. “Omma, where are you going?”

“Yes, ‘Omma’, where are you going?” Jong Kook chimed in teasingly from his son’s bed before Ji Hyo could say anything; he wiggled his eyebrows at his wife, amused at how easily it was to make the woman blush like a bride even after almost a decade of marriage. He patted the empty space next to him on the bed. “Why don’t you come and join us, Seung Im?”

Jong Kook’s use of her real name when he called her never failed to make Ji Hyo’s heart skip a beat. She really liked the way her name sounded on his lips. She put a hand on her son’s back. “Don’t you want to have some alone time with your Appa, Hong Lim-ah?” she asked the boy who was still clinging to her waist like a baby koala. Soon, Ji Hyo thought, he would be too tall to be doing this.

Hong Lim glanced at the bed, confusion flashed his round eyes; he was really tempted to say ‘yes’ to his mother’s question since it had been a few weeks since he last saw Jong Kook. On the other hand, he also wanted to be with his mother. In the end he shook his head vigorously, deciding that he wanted to spend time with both his parents rather than having to choose.

Ji Hyo let the boy drag him into the room. She sat down on the edge of Hong Lim’s bed but Jong Kook was having none of it. He s his arm around her smaller frame and pulled her further into the bed until she was practically resting her back on his chest.

“Hello, wife,” he whispered huskily, planting a little kiss on Ji Hyo’s cheek before returning his attention to their son.

The young boy grinned widely at their interaction, happy to have his parents together with him. Hong Lim climbed the bed and sat on Ji Hyo’s lap, laughing hysterically when Jong Kook stretched his arms to engulf him into a hug so that Ji Hyo was sandwiched between them.

“I’m starting primary school tomorrow,” the boy informed proudly after the laughter had died down, glancing at his father to see the older man’s reaction.

“Ah, yes,” Jong Kook said. “How do you feel about that?”

The young Kim tilted his head, frowning as he was unable to find the right words to express his feelings because of his limited vocabulary. Instead of answering his father, he opted to address his mother as she was always able to answer him, “Omma, what’s the word for if you have funny feeling in your tummy but not because you want to go to the toilet?”

Ji Hyo suppressed a smile. “It’s ‘nervous’, dearest,” she told the boy, who nodded seriously as if trying to put the word inside his little head.

“Why are you nervous for?” asked Jong Kook lightly, not wanting to add pressure to his son.

“I don’t know,” replied Hong Lim truthfully. “My old friends are all going to different schools – I don’t know anybody in this new one.”

Jong Kook clicked his tongue in understanding. “Well, son, if it makes you feel better, other kids don’t know anybody either.” Hong Lim only blinked in response. “How about this: your Omma and I are going to take you to school tomorrow? That way at least you know two people already.”

“But you are not a student, Appa,” replied Hong Lim matter-of-factly with the logic of a six-year-old.

Jong Kook exchanged an amused glance with Ji Hyo. “Ah, right. That would be a problem, now, wouldn’t it?”

The boy nodded. He thought for a while then said, “I guess I will be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think so.” Hong Lim threw a fleeting look at his mother before looking back at his father. “Appa,” he began.

“Yes, son?”

“Appa, can you please stay at home more often?”

Ji Hyo raised her eyebrows at the sudden change of tone and she glanced at Jong Kook, who questioned her silently with a frown. “What’s the matter, Hong Lim?” she asked, wondering what was on his mind.

“It’s just... Omma, you told me that you’d miss me a lot when I start school because you’d be all alone at home. I really don’t want you to be alone at home,” he said.

The genuine concern made Ji Hyo’s heart swelled with pride. It was something that she had said in passing and she didn’t know Hong Lim would remember it at all. “Oh, sweet child, I didn’t mean anything by it.” She tightened her hug on him. “I wasn’t serious. Don’t worry about me.”

“But you said...”

“I know, dear, but I was just joking at that time. I’m so sorry I made you worry about me.”

He looked like he didn’t believe her at first but he let the matter drop. They spent some time in silence and soon his eyes grew heavy. Hong Lim yawned and snuggled closer to his mother’s chest. The boy didn’t protest when Ji Hyo told him it was time for bed. He let Ji Hyo cover him with a blanket and kiss his forehead.

“Do you want Appa to stay for a while?” Jong Kook offered, somehow realising that it wouldn’t be long until the boy thought he was too old to have his parents fussing around, and Jong Kook wanted to make the best of it before the time came. Hong Lim nodded sleepily, mumbling something about wanting Jong Kook to read him a story.

Ji Hyo decided to leave them alone. She put a hand on Jong Kook’s chin and lifted it so that the man was looking at her. “He’s not the only one who misses you,” she whispered softly to remind him not to linger back too long, bending down to peck his lips before leaving the room.

***

“What are you thinking about, Ji Hyo-yah?”

Ji Hyo smiled when she heard her husband closed the door to their bedroom behind him and walked to where she stood by the window. She was nursing a mug of hot tea in her hands but she put the steaming mug down on the windowsill when Jong Kook hugged her from behind.

“You smell nice,” Jong Kook commented as he inhaled the scent that had kept him wanting to quickly return home whenever he was on a tour. He rested his chin on Ji Hyo’s shoulder, snuggling his head to the crook of her neck. As she tilted her head to the other side to give him more access, Jong Kook grinned. “I’ve missed you,” he admitted.

“Then don’t go globetrotting so much,” Ji Hyo admonished half-heartedly. “You do have a wife and a son at home, Kim Jong Kook.” He chuckled at this and Ji Hyo sighed when his breath caressed her bare neck.

“I didn’t know you were jealous of my work, yah, Cheon Seung Im.”

Ji Hyo glared at him from her peripheral vision. “Oh so it’s ‘Cheon Seung Im’ now?” she posed tauntingly.

“Cheon Seung Im, Song Ji Hyo, Kim Seung Im, Kim Ji Hyo – you choose. Whose fault is it that you have so many names?” Jong Kook replied without missing a beat and feigned a yelp when she swatted his hands. He tightened his hold on his wife. “I can’t believe our Hong Lim is a student now,” he mumbled.

There was a hint of regret in his voice and Ji Hyo understood it completely. “I know,” she agreed. “Time went by so fast – it feels like it was only yesterday I carried him in my arms.”

Jong Kook closed his eyes, a smile ghosted in his lips as flashes of old-time memories came back. “He was such a tiny baby,” he said.

“Sometimes I wish I could turn back time, Jong Kook-ah,” Ji Hyo admitted after a few minutes of silence. Her voice cracked and Jong Kook knew she was on the verge of tears. “This is silly, really, but I’m not ready yet to let my son go into the world – I’m not ready yet to let him grow up to be his own person. He is my son; my little baby.”

He sighed. As a parent, he understood what Ji Hyo felt because he was feeling quite the same thing; however he couldn’t deny that his relationship with Hong Lim was very different from Ji Hyo’s relationship with the boy. He was always the boy’s father and Hong Lim always looked up to him – thinking of him as his personal hero – that was undeniable. But it was Ji Hyo who was constantly by Hong Lim’s side; she soothed every fever, shooed every nightmare, kissed every pain and every drop of tears away – she was his world as much as he was hers for the past six years and a half. If it was hard on Jong Kook, he could only imagine what it must have felt for Ji Hyo.

“He loves you, Seung Im-ah,” was the only thing he could say.

“Don’t I know that?” she asked absently. “Love is never a question, Jong Kook. It’s more like me feeling helpless because he seems to keep slipping through my fingers all the time. One moment I think I’ve figured him out – his thoughts and everything else that matters to him – only to be thrown away the next moment because he keeps on growing.” She paused for a second. “It’s funny how it never occurred to me that being a parent doesn’t mean teaching my children everything I know; it is more of learning to accept that I have no control over anything that happens to them.”

Jong Kook was silent all the time; it wasn’t a time to agree or disagree with what she said. It was time to be quiet and let her pour all the worries she had kept inside for so long when he was away – it was the time to be her rock.

“I’m so going to cry like a baby when he leaves for school tomorrow,” Ji Hyo sniffled. She cleared and turned around so that she was face to face with her husband. “I’m going to kill you if you dare laugh tomorrow,” she threatened.

He grinned, relieved that her mood seemed to be better. “Bring an extra pack of tissues – I will need it,” he whispered. “You’re not the only one who has these thoughts, my Ji Hyo. I’m feeling the same way. Earlier when I tucked him in bed I was thinking about how much time I will have until he decides that he’s too old to be tucked in, too old for my stories, too busy with his friends and study to have time for me.”

Ji Hyo chuckled in relief. Jong Kook had never said anything about his worries of his son – it was her who always fussed about little things that happened to Hong Lim – and this little confession actually made her feel better.

“Aren’t we pathetic?” she asked in humour.

“Bet we’re not the only ones,” quipped Jong Kook. “The school ground will be flooded by tears tomorrow when mothers’ drop off their children for the first time to school.”

“And fathers,” Ji Hyo added.

“And fathers,” he repeated in agreement. He lowered his head to capture Ji Hyo’s lips into a light but long kiss. “We can be pathetic together, you and I, and a bunch of other parents.”

“There should be a therapy group for parents who just delivered their children to school for the first time,” Ji Hyo said on Jong Kook’s lips. She breathed the manly scent that was her husband, the sweet scent that had been missing from her bed for weeks now; it drove her crazy. Coyly she tugged Jong Kook to their bed. “What about we start a private therapy now?” she said seductively.

“I would love that, Mrs. Kim,” Jong Kook’s voice was thick with desire. He smiled as Ji Hyo reached for the switch of the lamp as their knees hit the bed. “What about you teach me the first session?”

***

Hong Lim waved energetically before running to the school building; he didn’t even stop for a second glance at his parents who kept on waving back even after he was no longer in sight. The good night’s rest as well as the fact that he was one of the few kids who had both parents coming to school for their first day had erased all his worries about a lot of things.

Ji Hyo stayed rooted on her place for a few seconds longer, her eyes was on the door into which her child went a moment ago. She didn’t cry even though tears were in her eyes. Leaning to Jong Kook’s accepting arms, she took a last glance on the school building before letting her husband usher her back into their cars.

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“Nope,” she replied. “I just feel like someone tore my limbs apart.”

It was an exaggeration and they both knew it. “It gets easier.” Jong Kook promised.

“You don’t know that,” said Ji Hyo as she buckled up in her seat, “Unless you have grown children that I don’t know about, Kim Jong Kook.”

Jong Kook threw his head back and laughed at her comment. “For the record, I did have experience. My Hyung was in hospital when Soya entered primary school. I was the one who had to drop her off at school. She cried like someone had died that the teacher allowed me to stay with her until lunchtime.” He smiled at the memory, thinking of how her niece Soya was now almost a mother herself.

“I’m not having any more children,” Ji Hyo declared. “Not worth the heartbreak.”

“Nice try,” Jong Kook mocked, “That was coming from a woman who can’t keep her hands to herself.”

“Yah! Kim Jong Kook!”

“What? Was I wrong?”

Ji Hyo blushed furiously as she couldn’t deny it. She stuck her tongue at him and Jong Kook chortled.

They spent the rest of the drive home in comfortable silence, somehow feeling a tad lighter with the understanding that apparently Hong Lim was not the only one who had to go through a learning process. Ji Hyo and Jong Kook did have to learn along with him – learning how to let be and how to let go. Jong Kook glanced at his wife with a warm heart, thankful that he wasn’t alone in this.

“Hey Cheon Seung Im,” he called out. Ji Hyo raised her eyebrows. “I love you.”

“I love you back, Kim Jong Kook,” replied Ji Hyo. “Love you to the moon and back again.”

A/N: I know, I know - this is as cheesy as it can be. Sorry about that. I just had a strike of inspiration when I listened to the song of the same title (it was ABBA's song - go Google it!), hence the theme. 

I hope you still enjoy it. Have some brownies anyway, in case you are traumatised. 

Ps. Those who watch Ji Hyo's drama and/or movies will probably know where I get the name for the boy ;)

Thanks for reading, people :)