„I still love you. I still want you. I still... I regret.
But all that does not make my fault less painful.
I hurt you.
I'm bad for you. I hate it. I hate me. I hate what this made us do.
I hate it that we can't be together anymore. That we had to break apart like this. That we...
can't see each other anymore. My head hurts.

My heart hurts. You'd be my cure... But I'm toxic to you. You have to go on living,
my love.

I want you to live for me. I want you to be my life.
But you don't have to do that if you don't want it. I understand if you don't want to. After all I did.
Or better. All I didn't do.
That's right. It's okay. Hate me. I want you to hate me.
There it is again. I want you to do something.. again.

I'm asking so much. Though you never answer. You never say a word. You never lived.
You never loved me. You liked my outside. My shell.
But you never loved me.

Though... Still... I love you.”




“That's all you bastard? You left me only giving me this?
Your loss is my end. It's my death! Don't you know that you !?”

He stood outside again. In the rain. He was drenched, screaming at the sky like an ill person. Crying his eyes out. His pretty loving eyes.
“Why are you doing that, my love?” I asked myself in thoughts.
But he was. I never existed in his, and he never in my world. We are different from the base onwards. Everything he thinks that exists...
Doesn't in my world.

“I HATE YOU! OKAY?! I HATE YOU, YOU STUPID ! THAT'S WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! NOW COME BACK YOU ER!”, he broke down. Laying on his side, his whole body shaking, his head hurting, “come back you ... I love you...“ he whispered the last part. The crying never stopped. Why was he like that? He should go on living.

I heard him though. My whole body heard him. His words. His cries. His screams. I knew he still loved me. He screamed in his sleep.
“Come back!”
Sometimes it was
“I NEED YOU!”
sometimes though... he just cried while sleeping.
I couldn't go back to where he was though. We live in other dimensions.

“Understand, my love, when we can't live together you should live for us.”

He always did. He always loved me. In the letter I lied. I lied to get away from him. To have a reason, even though it was a lied one. Even though the only reason to run away would never exist... I created one.

We were one but I fell apart and when he tried to help... he only got hurt.
I hurt him so much.
“Yet he loves me.
Till this day! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT!”

I couldn't go insane now too... I had to control myself. I had a mission and I did what I had to to. And then I died. Like I always do. I get a mission to make someone happy. I make the person happy. And I die. That makes the person sad for a short while but they had a happy time in their lives. That is my job. Even though I had done this many times before.
I never fell in love doing a mission.
And never did one of my clients go insane as soon as I left.
Never did one of my clients loose their freedom, or got pushed in an asylum.
I destroyed him. But just imagine I'd come back. Like I would love to do, even for the prize of loosing my job, loosing my immortality.
He'd really go insane. Dead people don't come around from time to time.

He will be sad, his heart may hurt. Maybe until he dies but... I won't die. For me the pain won't end.
Never.

I was an angel.

He was a human.

We never were meant to be but to our misery...

Love always comes as a surprise.