"sunggyu hyung?" 

 

"yeah dongwoo?"

 

"what if you found out that i wasn't...normal?"

 

"what do you mean?"

 

the younger fidgeted slightly, and removed the thick-rimmed glasses to reveal various scratches all around his eyes, which made sunggyu widen his eyes as much as it can. 

 

"dongwoo-ah, are you okay?! who did that to you?" sunggyu jumped, putting a hand to caress dongwoo's face, which made him flinch from the sudden contact, but relaxed as he realized that sunggyu meant no harm.

 

they met three days ago, and they've been meeting every single day at exactly 3 a.m in front of the vending machine. dongwoo never really talked, and he let sunggyu talk about his life right now, his childhood, what's been eating and stressing him, basically everything. and dongwoo learned a lot about sunggyu when it's a night and a person is most vulnerable. 

 

but dongwoo never said anything about himself, and sunggyu would never pry the younger to talk. he would never question him either; he figured if dongwoo wanted to, he'd tell him.

 

so dongwoo felt like he should tell sunggyu. sunggyu was the first person to ever really trust dongwoo to tell him all these personal stuff, so dongwoo felt like he should atleast return the favor.

 

"i did this to myself." dongwoo spoke ever so quietly that sunggyu could barely make the words. but he heard it, and he gasped in shock, at a loss for words.

 

"hyung, you've been so kind to me. you talked to me about your life and everything and i'd always listen but you'd never ask of me to say anything about myself, so thank you."

 

sunggyu gave a small smile to dongwoo, and patted dongwoo's cheek, slowly pulling his hand away.

 

"come." sunggyu said, patting his lap, and dongwoo couldn't help but smile.

 

it was at 3 a.m when sunggyu would be pouring his heart out that dongwoo would make sunggyu lay down and rest his head on his lap, while dongwoo played with his hair and listened to every drop of word.

 

so dongwoo gently layed his head against sunggyu's lap and looked straight up at the ceiling, as sunggyu gently started to brush the light brown hair softly through his fingers. 

 

"i-i hear voices hyung. bad voices. voices t-that just won't go away no matter how many times i scream for them to shut up. they won't leave me alone, they won't stop talking. i-i don't want to listen to them. i don't want to be constantly told that i'm worthless, that everyone hates me. i don't want to hear it anymore." dongwoo spoke, ever so quietly. he was trembling like crazy, and sunggyu just smoothed the younger's hair, gesturing for him to continue.

 

"i was so convinced that there was something literally living inside my brain that i began to scratch at my face to try and get rid of it. to make it all stop, make the shouting stop." dongwoo raised his hands to run over the now dry scars that were left.

 

"i did this awhile ago. two weeks ago? they sent me to the hospital when they found me curled up in a ball in the corner of my room. the voices told me to not trust anyone, and i soon began to listen to that voice. that voice that belonged to satan. so i wouldn't let anyone talk to me, wouldn't let anyone touch me. the voices told me that everyone hated me. they told me that no one liked me. they told me that i was better off dead." dongwoo gulped, blinking away tears.

 

"the voices weren't always here. they developed over time, at first it was just a simple whisper, nothing more. but as time passed by, the voices got louder and louder until it was practically screaming and i couldn't hear anything, i couldn't think. hyung, i was scared. i'm still scared. the voice scared me. i don't like them. all i want is for them to go away. b-but hyung? they told me they're never leaving. they told me i'm stuck with them forever. they told me i can't run away from them, i can't ecape hyung. i'm trapped."

 

and that's when dongwoo began to sob. and sunggyu just held onto the younger as his body trembled beneath him, and wiped the bits of tear that were building up in his own eyes.

 

--

author's note:

i'm not proud of this :c