(In)significance
(In)significance“Mama! Mama!” the boy reaches out. The breeze plays with the ends of her dress as they flutter about. The boy sprints even faster. “Mama! Look at me!” he cries. Closer, closer… Just a little bit more… They were so close, but yet she was unreachable. “Don’t leave me! Please!” No matter how much he stretches his fingers out, no matter how loud he shouts, she would not turn back. He gasps. His knees hit the ground .Still, she does not turn back and continues walking away. “Please…”It was now a mere pathetic cry. His desperate pleas ignored, the boy watches as the woman is swallowed into the shadows.
10-year-old Mifune Kengo woke up gasping. His heart thundered in his chest. He shut his eyes tightly. This dream had been haunting him since he was told about his mother 4 years ago, and it was always the same every time. His mother had run away from her abusive husband, hoping to start life anew in another prefecture. But a question had always lingered in Kengo’s mind: Why did she leave their baby at the doorstep of an orphanage? Why did she not take him with her? Had she not loved him? Kengo sighed. Not even knowing where his mother was, he knew he was far from getting an answer. Very far. Perhaps, he would never know.
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“Now, for an interview with the long-lost mother of famous baseball player, Tanaka Keita. For someone so young, Tanaka Keita has already made a name for himself in the baseball scene. His biological mother saw him in a game on TV and mother and son had just recently met in a touching reunion.”
The screen changed.
“So how do you feel about seeing your son for the first time in 19 years, Tanaka-san?” asked the reporter as he held out a microphone, eagerly waiting for an answer.
“I…I never thought he would be so s-successful in life… I had to give him up for adoption when our family had no means to support another mouth…” The middle-aged lady’s eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill. “I… I’m just so…” She choked on her words.
Young Kengo stared at the television screen. If he became well-known for something, anything, would his mother come back for him? If he could support her and protect her, then would she let him stay with her?
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Kengo walked into the ward. His Gym teacher had told him his mother had been found and offered to accompany him to the hospital she was in but he didn’t know if he felt happy. There were so many emotions swelling up in his chest. It was confusing to him.
“First, she will start to forget things more often, then she will start to forget where she is…” The doctor explains his mother’s condition. But Kengo wasn’t listening, concentrating only on looking at his mother, as if she would disappear if he were to take his eyes off her for even one second. He searched her eyes for any sign of recognition.
“Mama! Look at me!” he cries.
But her eyes were vacant as she stared at nothing in particular, absorbed in her own world.
Was he just a mere piece of a past she wanted to forget? Did he mean that little to her?
“Stop joking around… You don’t remember me?” No response.
No matter how much he stretches his fingers out, no matter how loud he shouts, she would not turn back.
No, it can’t be happening… His nightmares seemed to be coming true.
“Are you saying she’s forgotten about me?!” Kengo couldn’t take it anymore. He lunged at her. “WHAT KIND OF JOKE ARE YOU TRYING TO PLAY?! THIS WOMAN! STOP KIDDING WITH ME, DAMN IT!” Kengo screamed as he struggled to get out of the Gym teacher’s grip. The woman’s hands trembled as she gripped on to her blanket as if her life depended on it.
Kengo fell to the ground as sobs escaped his lips. “Damn…”
"Please…" It was now a mere pathetic cry.
He remembered what that kid told him the other day. “Even if you hate your mother, there’s no point to it. Because, she is your root. If you hate your root, you’ll never bloom in life. No matter what kind of mother you have, you have to like her. Because, she is your mother.” Suzuki Daichi, that stupid mother-complex kid. A small smile played on his lips.
He watched as his mother stretched out her arm, trying to reach for an apple on her bedside table. It then hit him how helpless she was. So weak, so child-like; unable to stand on her own two feet.
He walked casually to her table and picked up an apple. “I’ll peel it for you. I hear that nowadays if I can’t cook, I won’t be popular with the ladies.” He tried to keep up with his cool image. It didn’t suit him to be all emotional and mushy.
…Drip. A cool wetness touched his hand. He could feel the walls in his heart crumbling away. “Don’t… Don’t leave me ever again.” Tears escaped from his eyes. It was as if someone ripped off the aloof mask on him. He never felt so raw before. He looked at her. Nothing. He decided it didn’t matter anymore. “From now on, we’ll be together forever…” He chuckled inwardly. What would his juniors think if they ever saw him like this? As if she could read his mind, she smiled. He could feel a wave of tranquil wash over him.
He gently put his hand over hers, careful as to not break her. “Mum…” His voice was breaking. You can rely on me now.
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“Mama! Mama!” the boy reaches out. The breeze plays with the ends of her dress as they flutter about. The boy sprints even faster. “Mama! Look at me!” he cries. Closer, closer… Just a little bit more… His fingers gripped the fabric. His heart thumps loudly. His eyes widen. This has never happened before. The woman stops. Suddenly, the boy was at a loss. Now that he had caught up with her, then what…? What was he supposed to do now? Up close, he realizes that her hair was disheveled and her dress was slightly torn. He wanted to yell at her for ignoring him all this time. But no words would form. How could he? She has had her own fair share of pain just as he did. Then, he decides that it didn’t matter. As long as she was by his side, it would work out somehow.
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