Jong Up panted, clutching tight his chest as his heartbeat ragged behind his ribcage. Lay on the practice room floor, he jabbed his hand randomly to search any bottle of water. A chuckle heard above him before another hand grabbed his and put a bottle into it. Reluctantly – he was so damn tired and worn off – he opened his eyes, only to be greeted by Young Jae’s cheeky-smile.

 

“Are you all right?” the elder asked, sat down beside him as he just nodded his head weakly. Young Jae laughed softly as he opened his bottle and drown the content in several gulps. After calming down his labored breath, Jong Up sat up, glancing to the chubby vocalist at his left.

 

“You’re getting better at the push-up dance, hyung,” he grinned, showing his rabbit-teeth as Young Jae grinned back in return.

 

“But it’s still hard to do and I always got it wrong somewhere. Guess that I really must learn very much, huh? I wonder how you could do it so well with just several times practicing…” he pouted, making the young dancer traced his cheeks to pinch it softly.

 

“You just need to practice more and feel the moves hyung. I’m sure you’ll get it right. You’re smart, right hyung?” he said, making another grin appeared on Young Jae’s face once more.

 

“Yep. I’ll do my best!”

 

“Do you want to take a shower now?” he asked, pointing at the other members whose now started to walked toward their rest room. Maybe it was what happening, but maybe… it was him imaging thing. But he swear he saw a glint in the elder’s eyes when he shook his head and smiled, warmly, yet somehow it felt empty. Was that sadness? Regret? What? What?

 

“No, Jonguppie. Go ahead, I think I’ll practice more,” he answered softly, shooing the younger brunet as Jong Up eyed him strangely. He watched the teen gagging some incoherent words until finally gave up and waved to him as he jogged slowly to catch up the other. Yong Jae waved back, still smiling. But his smile immediately wore off as soon as the door closed behind the talented young b-boy.

 

He dropped his head, gazing down at his lap before shaking his head and stood up. He nodded, encouraging himself despite his body felt all sore and aching. But he couldn’t let himself slacking off. No, not now when they were almost on the top of their first achievement.

 

When the music blasting once more on his ear, his body started to move. Not too fluid, but not too stiff like the first time either. He had tried thousands times doing the moves right and perfect. But something just didn’t feel right. Like he was doing it wrong, like he was twisted the moves into something else no one wanted to see. Yet, he didn’t stop even a while, repeating the song over and over ‘till he heard the door cracking opened.

 

“Practicing again, Young Jae?”

 

At the familiar sound, Young Jae his heels and stared into his dance instructor’s eyes. For a while, neither of them said anything before a frown appeared on the elder male’s face.

 

“You still haven’t got the moves right, have you?” he asked, voice cold and annoyed as Young Jae nodded. He sighed loudly; making the young vocalist dropped his gaze to the floor. He walked slowly to the center of the room, standing several feet away from the brunet. “How much I have to tell you to relax your body? You’re too stiff when dancing, Young Jae. It will get you nowhere in progress and you’ll ended up screwing your group with your mistakes.”

 

“I’m sorry, songsaeng-nim.” Young Jae whispered, voice barely heard between the booming music on the room. The teacher shook his head.

 

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything. You can’t keep slacking off. Why can’t you be like Jong Up? You know, you’re the worst among them all, Young Jae.”

 

“I’ll practice harder, songsaeng-nim.” he tried, but the upset male in front of him just couldn’t buy it anymore.

 

“No. Two rounds of practicing and you’ve collapsed on the floor while the other still dancing. When you were busy feeding your appetite, the other were working their asses off on the gym. I’m sure there are many people asked you to lose some of your weight, but as far as I see, you lost nothing but the track of your practice.”

 

The words were harsh, slapping him right on the face. But Young Jae said nothing to defend himself. Because everything was true, so it wasn’t really his place to make himself even worse in front of his instructor. No matter how hurt it was.

 

“You know that for this song you need to wear clothes that a bit much will reveal the curve of your body. What will you show if you keep being a weak lazy like this? Your so called baby-fat? Some people maybe are kind enough to not fuss about that. But we’re in the different level from them. They’re just listener and you’re the idol, you’ll get yourself destroyed within minutes because of this imperfectness of yours!”

 

When the elder’s voice rose, Young Jae bitted his lips and breathed a heavy sigh before nodding and answered, “yes, songsaeng-nim. I’ll practice more to fix it,” in slightly wavering whisper.

 

“You better be, Young Jae. Or you’ll get replaced right away. There are people more talented, more ideal and absolutely not a weak person like you. I’m not just talking about your psych, but it’s your talent as well.” the instructor snapped before barging out from the room, leaving Young Jae who was now walking limply to turn off the music. He has enough for today. Enough.

 

He knew that everything the elder said was said for his own goodness, but to hear it like that also brought a wound to him. A wound that clearly screamed of his weakness, his imperfectness. He smiled bitterly. Well, he knew that the world wasn’t a playground of fairytale. He knew it too well, because he grew up with all of those painful remarks and comparisons from people around him. Life certainly wasn’t an easy field he could rest on.

 

Shaking his head to clear his hazed mind, he switched the lights off and walked to the door. The rest of the group should have sleep by now. It was a relief that he brought another key. He knew how tired they were, so it would be better if he didn’t come barging on the front door on their dorm. Nope, he’d sleep outside rather than bothering their slumber. At least, they’d have a peaceful rest tonight without need to know about his little ‘problem’.

 

Smiling at the thought he swung the door opened and ready to step out, before froze automatically when a pair of muscled arms pulled him into their embrace. His eyes widening, this posture was too familiar for him to not recognize it.

 

“Jong Up?” he asked, lifted his head to saw the younger’s face. But he just met with the left side of the teen’s jaw as he dropped his head on Young Jae’s shoulder, breath hitching near the vocalist’s ear.

 

“Why?” his voice was cracked and judged by how Young Jae’s shirt was damped now, he knew that Jong Up was crying. Scrambled to hold onto the slightly shorter boy, Young Jae felt panic rising on his chest. The thought of the young brunet crying was far more important than the fact that he was probably heard everything said on the room.

 

“Jong Up?! Why—Ssh, don’t cry, okay? Tell hyung where’s hurt,” he cooed, rubbing on Jong Up’s wet face as the teen shook his head, looking like a little puppy as he did so.

 

“Why don’t you tell me hyung?” he asked again, voice thick with emotion as he held Young Jae closer, tried to catch any glimpse of truth from the usually cheerful and snarky vocalist. He expected sorrow or at least anger there, but no. The only thing he found was just a warm smile the elder offered him as he brushed off the tears from Jong Up’s cheeks.

 

“Here, now you’re fresh as new baked cake.” He whispered, tapping lightly on the younger brunet’s reddened cheeks. He didn’t answer the question, because he didn’t feel like he was going to add more burdens to the dancer than he already has.

 

“Hyung…” Jong Up started, but cut off as Young Jae put a short finger on his lips.

 

“Ssh, it’s all right. Everything’s all right.”

 

Jong Up frowned. How in the world the vocalist could say such thing? Even he – who’s definitely not the one being lectured by their instructor – still felt ragging emotion inside. But Young Jae easily let it go like it was nothing, like every harsh and hurtful word was nothing.

 

“But… doesn’t it hurt hyung?” he asked, small hiccups heard from his throat as a shaking brunet locks appeared as his answer.

 

“No, Jong Up. It’s all right. I’m much stronger than you think.” the elder said calmly, patting Jong Up’s still-wet-hair softly. It wasn’t the complete truth, but it wasn’t a lie either. Guess he was used with all of this.

 

“But hyung… it hurted me.”

 

“Uh? What? Where? Are you okay?” Young Jae’s hands were now frantically checking on his face, again, nose scrunching in utter panic. If he wasn’t feeling like he’d vomit flood of tears, Jong Up would surely thought that the elder was totally adorable like that.

 

 

 

He grabbed Young Jae’s hands and led it to his chest, stopping on the right side of his lungs. “Here,” he whispered, staring into his hyung’s face that was now glooming when he knew what Jong Up meant. Pressing the clothed flesh softly, Young Jae stucked himself closer to the 4D teen, letting the usually lost-looked boy embraced him tighter.

 

“Here, here, Jonguppie. Now it won’t hurt anymore because hyung promise to work hard and make all of you happy, okay? Don’t cry, please. Hyung doesn’t like it when Uppie cry. It looks bad on his cute face,” he said cheerfully, feeling Jong Up pouted at his comment.

 

“You don’t need to work yourself so hard to be perfect hyung. I mean, you’re already perfect. You’re cute, you sing really well and you even own these chubby cheeks you never let me to pinch even though they look so soft and… you’re really smart too! And… and… you… look y when you’re dancing…” the younger admitted, light pink stained his cheeks at his own words. A light punch was delivered to his chest as the elder laughed.

 

“Well, thank you, but would you please stop making me blush? I’d appreciate it well if you don’t make me look like a school girl in crush.” Young Jae said playfully.

 

“Well, I don’t really mind it. You’ll look cute hyung,” the clueless dancer added, not aware of the next punch his hyung gave him. He whined a bit before continuing, “but hyung, you… really, really, really don’t need to be strong. Because I think you’re already strong right now, even stronger than Yong Guk hyung and me.”

 

“Oh, are you sure you’re that strong?” teased the chubby vocalist, “and why is that Jong Uppie?”

 

“Because it doesn’t matter if your body or talents are weak, which I think not, you’re already strong enough for standing still despite people… says rude things to you. I think… I think it’s your heart that’s strong hyung. The strongest.”

 

“Yah! What about not making me blush again?” Young Jae scolded as Jong Up laughed and pulled him closer, swaying their bodies a little as he hummed into the younger’s chest. They stayed a while like that before decided to go home to their dorm as sleepiness raked through them. Jong Up has sleep a bit while waiting Young Jae took a shower.

 

When finally they landed on the soft mattress on Jong Up and Jun Hong’s share bed – Yong Guk went to studio so the maknae came bothering Him Chan – the pair let out a relief sigh, laughing when they caught one another doing the same thing. When their laughter died, Jong Up smiled and pulled Young Jae back to his chest, sliding his hands to wrapped around the elder as he snuggled closer and tucked his head on Jong Up’s neck.

 

“Good night hyung, uh… I love… your cheeks! Yeah, you should let me to have it someday, all for me. Because I think Him Chan hyung wants your cheeks too.”

 

Laughing, Young Jae nodded and poked the younger’s side lightly, made the brunet wiggled a bit. “Well, then I love your cheeks too, Uppie-yaa.” he said warmly. Jong Up grinned his usual puppy-dog smile and kissed the top of Young Jae’s head.

 

“Yup, officially good night. Now, sleep hyung!”

 

“Jeez…”

 

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First story here. YAY.. OTL