I met Lee Hyukjae when I traveled to Seoul on an excursion with my company about four years ago. My partner was in charge of an interview with one of the top dancers in the country. This guy was supposedly a big deal, having won many competitions and performed all over Asia, Europe, and America.

Personally, I didn't give a damn. He was probably some stuck up prick who thought he owned the world. I was just tagging along to take pictures for the magazine. Trust me, I would have rather taken the job of shooting that hot model. At least I'd have something to look at. But as usual, I was there to help make Sungmin's clients look good. I mean, this guy was a dancer. Weren't they just supposed to blend into a group or the background of the stage? He couldn't possibly be good-looking.

Turned out, I was dead wrong.

Hyukjae was the kindest, most patient person I'd ever met. He answered every single one of Sungmin's questions with a big gummy smile on his face and never got frustrated when my pink-wearing hyung kept him an extra hour just to talk about how cute the singer Cho Kyuhyun was. The way he laughed was quite endearing...err...nice.

He was super cute too—um I mean... he was okay.

He had bleached his hair a blonde/silver color and it hung over his single-lidded eyes. His skin was softer than a girl's (not that I would have known of course) and had a milky complexion. Even under his baggy sweatpants and over-sized T-shirt, I could tell that he was thin, perhaps a little muscular. The way he threw around this carefree aura, I found it hard to believe that he was as good as everyone said.

But as I started taking pictures of him in action, actually watching him dance and seeing those world-famous popping and waving moves, I knew right then and there.

Lee Hyukjae was the real deal.

He was talented, a little quirky, but sweet, had a love for all things strawberry, and a genuine heart. I felt like an for thinking that he would be a good-for-nothing twit.

On the train ride back to our office in Mokpo, Sungmin kept complimenting Hyukjae's manners and dancing. The more he talked, the more Hyukjae seeped into my brain, and although I didn't know it at the time, into my heart. There was already a tiny place with his name etched into it.

I needed to see him again.

So, I started lying. I traveled back to Seoul and said that I had come to do some follow-up shots of him for the magazine, and Hyukjae eagerly welcomed me. As I stared at him through my camera lens, on our fourth date meeting, it clicked.

I had fallen for him.

It didn't take much really. It was almost pathetic. But I guess that's what love does to people.

I asked him out, simple as that. Never in my life had I even considered dating a guy, and it didn't register before it was too late that maybe he didn't feel the same way I did. I felt stupid, turned red, and whispered a quick “never mind” before he snapped out of his daze and told me to stay.

And I did, for three years.

I made Sungmin switch companies with me to the one in Seoul so I could be near Hyukjae every day.

But things began to get difficult.

Since he was something of an idol, he had an image to uphold. I was kept a secret from the press and from his own parents. I had been introduced as “my good friend Donghae” instead of “my boyfriend” because Hyukjae feared what his father would think. It hurt a little, but I ignored the tiny stabs of pain and stood by his side. I loved him that much. And I knew he loved me too.

Then everything changed on a dime. She came into his life. Kim Hyoyeon. She transferred to Hyukjae's studio one day as the new female lead in the production. Being the kind soul that he is, my lovely boy welcomed her with open arms and unknowingly sparked some feelings inside her.

They became friends since most of their practice times were blocked on the same schedule. They had a lot of duets too. The way their eyes lit up when they danced together, their smiles, light touches, I captured all of these moments on my camera. Perhaps I'm a bit of a masochist for not deleting those pictures right away.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't jealous, but I didn't let it get to me that much. Besides, I was the one who Hyukjae came home to every night, and the one that kissed him and made love to him. Not her.

Or so I thought.

I had known that Hyukjae feared his father. He thought very highly of the man and did everything in his power to please him. And when the businessman saw one of Hyukjae and Hyoyeon's dance performances, he demanded to meet her.

Then it turned into Hyukjae taking her out on dates. I felt kind of bad for her. She was a nice girl, but I knew that Hyukjae's heart was with me, and every time she would lean in to kiss my boy and he'd flinch away or change the subject, I would have to bite back a victorious smile.

But Hyukjae's father would have none of that.

“I feel like I'm cheating on you,” Hyukjae said to me one night as we snuggled on the couch in my apartment. “It's like I'm two-timing. It's not fair to either of you.”

I kissed the top of his head. “I trust you,” I whispered. And I did. I truly believed that he wouldn't leave me. “I'm sure things with you two will blow over and your father will forget all about her.”

Oh, how I wish I had been right.

I got a phone call one evening that ripped my heart into tiny shreds.

“Hae, I'm getting married.”

I dropped the phone, letting it clatter on the floor. I could faintly hear his voice desperately crying out my name, but I had already gone numb.

The invitation came a few days later.

You are invited to Lee Hyukjae and Kim Hyoyeon's Wedding.

Along with the date and time, there was a tiny handwritten note at the bottom of the paper.

Mr. Lee Donghae, the parents of the groom would like to hire you as the photographer for the evening.

Hyukjae and I didn't speak for weeks. I couldn't bring myself to see him. Just looking at him made my heart ache. As much as I loved him, in the end it didn't matter. He was going to marry a woman for the rest of his life and I had to document the moment. If it wasn't for the fact that I wanted to see him one last time before I returned to Mokpo, and because I had already been paid for the job, I wouldn't have gone to the wedding. If it wasn't me marrying him, there was no point for me to torture myself with his presence.

He tried calling me a few times, he even came to my apartment and banged on the door begging me to come out, but I just plugged my ears and curled up into a ball on the other side of the wooden barrier.

“Please hear me out, Hae!” he shouted. I could hear the tears in his voice. “My father arranged this marriage. Hyoyeon agreed, but I don't love her! I love you! Please open the door!”

I couldn't bring myself to do it.

All of my happy dreams had been shattered. We would never be together. It just wasn't meant to be.

Then the day of the wedding finally arrived. I had spent the last month mentally preparing myself. I needed to be professional. As I packed up my camera along with my other bags, I glanced at the picture on the dresser table. I had taken it of Hyukjae when he wasn't looking.

He had the most beautiful expression on his face: soft eyes, slightly parted lips, flushed cheeks. My heart gave a little squeeze as I gently placed it face-down. After tonight, I was leaving Seoul, and I was leaving the love of my life forever.

No matter how hard I had tried to make myself ready for this moment, seeing him in his black tuxedo, a red flower pinned to the front, made it hard to bite back the tears. He looked gorgeous.

Hyoyeon was a lucky girl. Hyukjae would take good care of her. He'd make her happy. Who knows...maybe one day he'd return her feelings.

I suddenly felt a heavy gaze on my shoulders and looked up to see him staring at me. Our eyes met, and although we had been apart for months, our connection was still there. All of our love was poured into that one glance. I smiled weakly before breaking the link between our eyes, but unfortunately, not our hearts.

As much as I wanted this night to be over, I didn't want to let him go. Love does that to you.

I stood slightly off to the side, snapping picture after picture. I cursed myself because as I shuffled through the previous shots, I notice that most of them were blurry because my hands had been shaking so much. I couldn't do anything but stare at my failures.

Then my life started to officially end.

“Do you, Kim Hyoyeon, take Lee Hyukjae to be your lawfully wedded husband for as long as you both shall live?”

Please say no.

“I do.”

“And do you, Lee Hyukjae, take Kim Hyoyeon to be your lawfully wedded wife for as long as you both shall live?”

I couldn't even bring myself to move, never mind take a picture.

“I-I do.”

Looking around, I wanted to make sure that no one had heard my heart exploding into a million pieces. My knees almost buckled, but I took a deep breath. It would be over soon. I would leave and forget that the famous dancer Lee Hyukjae had ever been mine.

Taking another shaky breath, I held my camera up again. My vision grew blurry as I watched the events flashed by my camera lens.

“And if is there anybody here who does not permit these two to be wed, may they speak now or forever hold their peace.”

I took another shot, pressing the button on my camera to review it. My heart stopped. Hyukjae was looking directly at me, gazing into my eyes, begging me.

Glancing up at him, my breath caught in my throat. He was still staring at me. A single phrase was mouthed at me from the altar.

“Please.”

He didn't want this either. A tear went unnoticed by the rest of the congregation gathered in the church, but I saw it. My boy was crying. He was in as much pain as I was.

I opened my mouth. All I had to do was say two words: I object....

Hyukjae still held my gaze, more tears trickling from the corners of his eyes. My camera slid from my fingers, shattering at my feet.

All eyes were on me.

“I can't accept this marriage,” I whispered.

7/27/11