I was totally done with the day. After that what I called my performance, I just wanted to go home and sleep. For several days. Why did my chef choose exactly this day to call me after school and tell me that I should come to our club to perform as a supporting act for some guy? I was tired as . I hadn’t much sleep the last week. It was exam time and I slept less than 3 hours a day to get everything done. Why did this guy choose this day to perform and why became the planned supporting act ill? All these questions I didn’t really have an answer to and I didn’t even want to know a freaking answer. It was just the depression and all the stress that laid onto my shoulders. It was my last year in high school and I needed to be good this year to study in the university I wanted and to show my parents that I can do it. I wanted to study music, everything that came with it. The history, the different kinds of music. I wanted to become a better performer. I wanted to share all my emotions with my fans. I wanted all of this and much more. So I needed to become one of the best.

I went backstage and grabbed my bag. I was happy that I could at least sleep a little bit longer tomorrow because it was Saturday and my last exam was going to be on Friday. So I had quite a lot of time. Added to this it was my best subject. Music was the last exam, I needed to take and I wasn’t really nervous about this because I was quite sure I would succeed it with the best mark. Still I was so tired that I just wanted to leave the club and go to bed. I could have loosened the stress a bit while taking a drink with his friends but right now I’d choose the bed over everything. That’s what I thought as I walked towards the bar to wave my friends goodbye. But it came all different.

My friends tried to convince me to stay a bit longer to drink at least one drink with them but I stove them off and told them after the exam. They growled but let me go only a few seconds after that, knowing they shouldn’t up things with me when I’m in a lack of sleep. I waved and turned to leave when I froze in place.

I couldn’t move a bit. I just stood there. Like a . My mouth hanging wide open. Shivers running over my whole body. I didn’t know what happened. But I knew it felt good. Too good. All the stress was gone in an instant. The only thing that filled me in that moment was those sounds. The sounds of the guy who should be on stage by now. Still frozen in place I couldn’t turn around. My heart started beating way too fast as I listened to those sounds. The guy had started with a little talk which I didn’t pay any attention to it but just a second ago he had started singing. His voice was really clear and not that loud. It was a light singing and his voice sounded way too high for a guys one. I listened in awe to the clear voice which was like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard and I’ve heard a lot. The whole audience became silent as he opened his mouth and let the beautiful sounds appear in the room. The whole focus was on him and no one dared to even whisper a word. As his singing blended into a simple nanana sound I couldn’t hold it anymore and turned around. I needed to know who that guy who made these wonderful sounds was. And I didn’t trust my eyes. On stage was a small guy who looked like he could be broken by just a touch. His blond hair had few blue skeins in it. His eyes were closed and he didn’t move an inch. His singing has stopped and right now only the backgroundmusic was playing. I couldn’t stop staring at that beautiful person in front of me. As suddenly the beat changed. It became a much faster beat. I saw the guy chuckle a bit at the change in atmosphere. Then he opened his mouth and started rapping. I thought my knees were about to break away below me. My heart stopped beating and I just wanted to fall on the floor and cry my heart out. Whenever I thought I was good in rapping this guy taught me something different. His rapping was so light and clear. And he switched from slow parts right into the fast ones leaving me speechless. I was now shamelessly staring at the guy in front of me. The song ended with some words rapped slowly in a dark voice which made me nearly growl in frustration. And then the guy stopped. He smiled to the audience which showered him in applause and screams. He bent to all sides, having the wide smile plastered onto his face. “I’m Kwon Jiyong”, he introduced himself. “Thank you for visiting today. It’s my first day here in town and I hope you’re going to like my songs, so I can sing for you a lot more often.” I’m hella sure I’m going to like all of your songs. I never liked a song that fast. I actually loved it with the first sound that left Jiyongs mouth. Jiyong talked a bit more about himself that he was going to live in Seoul now because he was going to study here. “So I decided that it would be a great idea to sing for you live since I got so much love from Seoul online.” Online? I thought about that what my chef told me about that guy. He was some youtube celebrity. Not that big by now but sure to become a big thing. And I needed to agree in that. He for sure will be a big thing later on. With the next song he started to sing he was about to become my biggest thing.

The whole time Jiyong hold his little concert I stood there stopped dead in my tracks just staring at him mouth slightly opened. The first time I was able to move was when his concert ended. I let my bag fall to the ground and clapped my hands like crazy and cheered for this guy like my life depended on it. I felt some glances on my sides and turned to look to the right. My friends stared at me like I was some kind of an alien. “Didn’t you want to leave a while ago”, Daesung my best friend asked me. “Yeah”, I said with a small smile. “I kinda got distracted. He’s damn good.” Daesung laughed. “You’re the expert.” “I need to talk with him.” I was startled myself as I heard myself talk that excited. I sound like a freaking fangirl. “If you want to talk to him, than do so.” Daesung laughed at my questioning expression. “You’re an artist here as well. You can just go to him backstage and greet him welcome you dumb one.” I felt my cheeks became painted with a light red as I took my bag into my arms and hurried backstage the stage. As I arrived there I shoved my bag into my locker and went to the stage entrance to get a better view of what he was doing. He sat on the edge of the stage and talked with his fans. He gave them all a warm handshake and signed some pictures for them. He smiled widely and I felt like I looked straight into the sun itself. It didn’t take him that long to talk with his fans because it was a rather small concert with just a few people to come. So after wishing his last fan a safe drive home he finally stood up and stretched. Then he turned and came up exactly to me. The second he came backstage our glances meet. He looked somehow puzzled as he saw me but still approached me with a smile.

He greeted me with a beautiful “Hi” and I thought that I was about to die as I looked down onto that beautiful face. His auburn eyes and that delicate smile, topped with that small snub nose. I just wanted to take and embrace him into my arms. But I recollected myself and gave him a proper answer. “Hi, I just wanted to let you know, that I absolutely loved your performance.” With those words his eyes beamed up to me and his smile widened a bit. Which made me catch a breath. “Thank you. I really appreciate to hear that. You were my supporting act, weren’t you?” I nodded, a bit in shame because I didn’t really care for my performance today so it wasn’t that good. “I really liked your performance as well. You have a stunning voice.” I smiled shyly. “Thank you. But it wasn’t that good today at all. I was not prepared at all and I really had a lack of sleep this week because of my exams and I was nothing in comparison to you. What is the use of a beautiful voice when I don’t know the technique?” Jiyong laughed making my ears ring. “You don’t need to say sorry. I noticed that you weren’t on your best today in contrast I saw you were really tired. So it’s okay. We can’t be in our best forms all the time. And I was thankful to have you as my supporting act because you really fit with my voice.” I noticed that I blushed the second time that day. I wasn’t able to say anything so just smiled at him in reply. He went to the sofa and let himself fall down on it. “Ah, it was fun”, he sighed happily. And I suddenly felt the urge to talk with him. It was like I needed to keep this opportunity and make this guy my friend. “So you said in the beginning that you’ve just moved to Seoul. Maybe I could show you around a bit? I’d really like to get to know you better and I want to learn from you a lot.”

6 weeks later

The bad music was turned way too loud in the big hall. My head was hurting like crazy. This was supposed to be one of the best nights in my life. But I was bored so terrible bored. It was prom night. Our last evening having all the guys from school together. But I never liked to be in school. I didn’t have many friends. Just a few but really good ones. And I would have fun as well wouldn’t two of my friends be in a relationship. And the other one was probably on the building drinking till he doesn’t know his name. My two total love struck best friends where with their girlfriends on the dance floor dancing like there is no tomorrow. And maybe there wasn’t. Tomorrow we were going back to school to graduate and after that all of us were heading in different directions. I wasn’t scared to lose my friends although no one of them was about to attend the same university as I was going to attend. We were like brothers since kindergarten. We wouldn’t just disappear out of each other’s lives. We wouldn’t be best friends anymore if something like this was bound to happen because we had a lot of bad fights in the past because of the friends of my one friend, the one which was probably drunk like crazy right now. But we figured out that he was just lonely and that was his way to get over the loss of his parents. They died 3 years ago in a terrible car accident.

I felt a vibration in my pants and took the phone out of my pocket. As soon as I read the sender of the message a smile crept over my face and my eyes started shining. Jiyong. Since the day we met we became like best friends. It felt like he was even closer to me than the friends I’ve known my whole life. It was more natural. After I told him that I could show him around Seoul his eyes had lit up and he jumped up and down in joy telling me that he had only a few friends since he moved here and most of the time he got lost in the big city. So the next day I had shown him around Seoul and we’ve been the whole day together and on Sunday as well. After that he came to my house the week before my last exam and helped me studying music which he knew even better than I had. When the exam was over we met every now and then. I introduced him to my friends and took him to our school play and so on.

I hadn’t seen him the last week because his parents had visited him. I thought today was the last day of their visit so he probably had just brought them back to the train station. I opened the message reading what he had sent me.

Hyunnie, I’m so bored and lonely. I brought my parents to the train station and now it’s me all alone in my apartment once again /sigh/ Have fun at your prom!

Imagine Jiyong in his apartment all alone made me want to run to him and throw my arms around him and hold him close. In the time we spend with each other it became clear that I had the urge to protect him. He was so tiny and slim that I just needed to take care of him. He was from a small town which was even worse because he didn’t know the danger of a big city. I quickly replied to him.

I’m bored too. I’m not having fun at all. I need you here by my side to have fun.

I pouted while writing this text. I noticed it somehow became a habit of mine to pout a lot whenever I was together with Jiyong. Now I even pouted when I was texting him. I rolled my eyes because of my stupidity. But every time I was pouting I would see Jiyongs eyes shine with joy he would playfully hit my arm and tell me I should stop pouting. He said it was my ultimate weapon. No one could run away from that pout. I didn’t tell him that he was the ultimate weapon himself. He just needed to look at me with a pleading look and I would run to do what he told me. The way he pouted was way worse than mine and whenever he bit himself on the lower lip I was about to flip everything and just pull his lips into a mind blowing kiss.  I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I’ve never been in a relationship with a guy. I didn’t know why I felt like this. I never even looked at guys the same way I looked at girls. I never found guys attractive. But it was different with Jiyong. So much different. I liked everything about him. I could stare at him for hours because he was like the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Every move he made was so light and still filled with so much energy. He moved with so much grace it hurt to just watch him. My phone vibrated once again letting me know Ji replied. So he probably sat in front of his phone now waiting for my answers.

I can see your pout through the text. Stop that Choi Seunghyun. I giggled he knew me way to well. But you’re supposed to have fun today. It’s a big day. It’s the prom. Enjoy yourself dance with some girls, drink and just be happy. I frowned. Dance with some girls. I looked around none of the girls looked even half as beautiful as Jiyong and they were in their freaking promdress. I typed to answer him.

I know I’m supposed to have fun. But it’s no fun. My friends are absorbed in doing their things and the girls here. I told you already that I don’t like a single one of them. I’d like to run away from this place and just spend the night with you. I bit down on my lip. I didn’t know if I said too much as I told him that I want to spend the night with him. Maybe he understood it the wrong way. Although I didn’t know whether I didn’t mean it the wrong way. I really wanted to be by his side. I want to cuddle to him in the night and wake up to him the next morning. I shook my head. Where are these thoughts coming from? His reply came fast.

You wanna spend the night with me? You know that that sounds wrong, Hyunnie keke. But I like to have you by my side right now. I somehow miss home with my parents gone again. As I read those lines I knew what was going to happen. I stood up went to the friend I could see in all the people. “Ya, Youngbae.” I pulled on his jacket taking his attention. “I’m going to leave. It’s no fun for me at all.” He looked at me with a playful smirk. “Of course it’s no fun for you. Jiyong isn’t here.” I gave him a light smack on the head. “Shut up, Bae.” He just giggled. He was the only one who knew my feelings for Jiyong. He somehow can see what I was feeling whenever I was feeling it. And he told me that my love to this guy was written all over my face. “And where are you heading to now? Home? I doubt so, after your parents didn’t even showed up to our performance today.” I felt my heart sting with pain but I let it pass. I didn’t want to think of that right now. I should have been used to it by now. But I would probably cry myself into sleep that night once again. Although I’m almost grown up there is nothing to stop the tears when you can feel your own parents aren’t loving you at all. I shook my head and felt myself blush as I answered my friend. “I’m heading towards Jiyong. He is homesick right now. I want to be there for him.” Youngbae looked at me and then suddenly started laughing hardly. “You’re so lost in love man”, he managed to say between laughter. I glared at him with something that was supposed to be an angry stare although I knew he was so damn right. I rolled my eyes and waved him goodbye. Then I left the party to move towards my new friend whom I was so obviously in love with.

He opened the door wearing a t-shirt and his pyjama pants. “What are you doing here”, he exclaimed seeing me in front of his door. “You said you liked to have me by your side right now. So here am I.” Jiyong giggled. “You’re so stupid Choi Seunghyun. Come in.” He led me inside his apartment and turned the tv off. “What were you watching?” He blushed looking away from me. “Dirty dancing.” He said it that quietly I could barely hear him. “Dirty dancing, really?” “Yeah”, he busted out. “You know I somehow like the dancing and the music.” Now it was my time to giggle because it was so cute to see him being flushed like that. “It’s okay, I like that movie as well.” He smiled at me with sparkling eyes and I seriously wanted to throw my head against the wall in that exact moment. How should I survive this when already his smile make me feel like I was about to go crazy? His glances let shivers running down my back and every touch of him made me want more and more. I sighed heavily. “Was it that bad at the prom”, pulling me down next to him onto the couch. “I don’t know. It wasn’t that bad. I was just terrible bored. You know I didn’t have anyone to spend time with because my friends, yeah they were my friends, they didn’t really had time for me in that exact moment but I can understand.” He laid his hand on my arm and there was this feeling again. This feeling to just bury myself into his arms and just let him hold me forever. “How was your performing going?” He sat straight smiling at me. He knew I had put a lot into the performance for that day. I wrote myself a whole new song and he helped me to improve my rapping for that day. “It was great”, I said with a sad smile. The whole reason I put so much into that performance was that my parents were supposed to see it. They should see me perform for the first time. And what happened. They didn’t even bother to come. I didn’t call them by now to ask why they didn’t come. I didn’t want to hear any excuse telling me it was because of work. It was Saturday night. They didn’t need to work at this time. Or maybe they wouldn’t even think of an excuse. Maybe they would just tell me there was a way more important move in tv they needed to watch.

I didn’t notice I drove away from Jiyong until he laid a hand on my cheek wiping a unnoticed tear away. “Hey, what’s wrong?” His expression was painful. He had crawled onto his knees being only a few centimeters away from me. I hadn’t told Jiyong anything about the ed up relationship with my parents and I really didn’t come to tell him that right now. But the worried look upon his face and my mental breakdown I could keep it away from him anymore. “You know I put that much effort in the performance in everything and they didn’t even felt the need to show up.” I sighed heavily keeping all the coming tears in. “Whom are you talking about, Hyunnie.” Jis worried face made me want to crawl into his arms and cry till there weren’t any tears to come anymore. “The ones you would call my parents.” He raised a questioning eyebrow and I started with a sad sigh. “The relationship I have with my family is totally ed up. They never, and when I say never I mean it, cared a about me. As soon as I could walk on my own I could do things on my own. They only brought me to kindergarten after that they told me I could walk on my own. They left me alone while they were gone partying already in the age of 5. When I became 9 they were gone for at least a month leaving me alone at home. They told me I should study medicine so I could pay for their living later. As I refused because I wanted to make music it became even worse. They stopped giving me any money. In the age of 12. I hadn’t had any possibility to legally gain money. So I started helping our neighbors and so on. Because the just didn’t stop giving me money they also stopped making me something to eat. And because they ate in restaurant a lot they didn’t care filling the fridge for me. So I didn’t have anything to eat at all. They told me when I wanted to make music I should care for myself. So today I wanted to show, that I’m really good and that I really could become famous. But they didn’t even come. I should have known better than to keep my hopes up. I should have known they don’t love me at all. But somehow I’m still a little boy only wanting to feel the love of his parents.”

As I stopped talking I felt Jiyong lunge at me. “Hyunnie”, he sobbed silently. He caressed my hair with his hands. “How can they treat you like this. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. I won’t let you go anymore, just so you know. How can you be such a wonderful person with parents like this. I don’t get it. You’re the most loveable person. How can they? You’re so perfect, I can’t even tell and they are treating you like this. They are making you cry. I want to make them cry right now. Parents shouldn’t make their children cry. It’s unbelievable.”

I stared at Jiyong speechless. He couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful I am and how my parents were such monsters for treating me like that. I’ve never imagined him to react like this. I thought he would pat my arm or even give me hug. But that. That was too much. He sat on my lap, telling me I was perfect. He was almost crying because of me. In that moment I couldn’t do anything different but lay my hands on both sides of his head. I caressed his cheeks with my thumbs. “Shh”, I made, making him freeze in spot. He stared at me with wide eyes noticing only then that he sat on my lap his head only a few centimeters away from my. Centimeters I planned to pass in a few seconds. I leant forwards to capture his lips in a needing kiss. I saw his eyes widening in shock but I didn’t care right now. I closed my eyes moving my lips against his. Slowly I noticed him relax below me. He moved his lips against mine, putting his hands into my hair. I felt him play with the skeins of my hair. He moved even closer against me and he slowly opened his mouth for me. Hungrily I took this access and let my tongue slip into the others mouth. It was as if the world had stopped spinning. Time has stopped and the only thing I noticed where the hands in my neck, the body pressed against mine and the tongue dancing around mine. Jiyong tasted like ice cream and I remember seeing some chocolate ice cream on the table as I came in. His lips were so soft and warm better than anything I could’ve imagined.

After something that felt like an eternity we parted again heavy breathing. He stared into my eyes lovingly. “I thought you were straight”, he whispered. “I thought so too before I met you”, I answered smiling bright. “I’m glad you aren’t.” He beamed at me, still sitting on my lap which I didn’t though of letting him go right now and he somehow though it was comfortable as well because he didn’t move an inch. “You don’t need to search for the love of your family anymore”, he whispered bringing his forehead against mine. He shut his eyes closed. A little smile played around the corners of his mouth. “From now on, I am your family. And I love you more than anything for my whole life. I make you swim in love.” With that he sat a little kiss on my nose and looked into my eyes lovingly. I felt tears creeping up once again. But this time they were tears of joy. “I love you too, Jiyong. It was love at first sight. Or better it was love as I first heard your voice.” Ji giggled and captured my lips into another sweet kiss. “In the break till university you get your things in here and we’re going to live together. I would’ve needed a roommate anyway. And I can’t think of anything better then living with you till the end of our lives.” I hold him tight pecking soft kisses on his face. “I’m so thankful I found you.”

With these words I knew it was faith. I knew it happened out of a reason that the supporting act who was supposed to play before Jiyong became ill that day. That my boss called me and that Ji choose this time to move to Seoul. We were meant to be. Forever.