Why are you like this, oppa?“
He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me. 
“I don’t know what you mean”
He avoided my eyes and looked back at Seungri instead, who was dancing with 5 to 10 girls around him.
“I think you do” I sat down beside him. He nipped at his drink and for someone who didn’t know him so well it would have looked like he was totally relaxed but I saw that me looking at him made him nervous. So I stared at him waiting for an answer. After 2 minutes Jiyong saved him by asking me to dance with him. I gave Mr. Choi a we-will-continue-this-later-look and went with Jiyong. 

~~~~

A few days later
To be honest I had forgot about oppa being down. He went back to his usual cute self. Joking with the members and being focused while working. 
On this day we all wanted to go out to eat I called him but he said he wasn’t feeling well and that we should go without him. 
“Let him be” Jiyong said. “If hyung doesn’t want to come then leave him be”
I didn’t even make it till the main dish. I was so bothered that I took a taxi to Oppa’s apartment. 
He was sitting on a chair on the balcony. It was still warm though the sun had sat hours ago. He wore a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. With the cigar in one hand and a glass of Whisky in the other he looked like some mafia boss. He didn’t even look up as I sat on the other chair.
“Why did you come here, lil sis?” I wasn’t his real sister but that wasn’t really important. 
“Why are you sitting here like this?” He looked at me but turned to his glaze back to the city.
“The others didn’t tell you”
He sighed. For a moment he was silent, looked at the golden liquid in his glass as he tossed it. I thought I wouldn’t get an answer like last time.

“It’s her birthday” With this words he stood up and drank the rest of his Whisky in one, long shot. He went inside and I followed. 

“Who?” 

He poured himself another glass and handed me a glass too. Oppa knew me well, he gave me some fruity liquor with wasn’t too sweet. We sat down on the couch.

“Before debut I had a girlfriend. She was 5 years older than me…” He didn’t look at me while talking. “I was so nervous and didn’t want to tell her my real age, I thought she may leave me because of it…..”

“But she didn’t leave you …?”
“No she didn’t but I was about to debut” He looked me in the eyes for the first time on this evening. Ohh, this story hadn’t had a good ending.
“She made you choose” I assumed. He didn’t answer. 
“She didn’t want to wait for me” 
I didn’t know what to say so I just remained silent. 

~~~

The weather couldn’t have been more fitting on this day. The sky was grey, almost as if it was made of stone. I stood on the sidewalk watching the building on the other side of the street. People kept passing by. Some gave me a weird look but most just didn’t care. 
After some time I saw someone stopping and standing beside me.
“How did you know?” I didn’t even look at him. I just knew it was him. 
“I’m your oppa, I have to know”^^
I had to smile. 
“But are you sure, you wanna be here?” I looked up at him. 
Instead of an answer he said, “Look”

The door opened and 2 people come out. First a guy. I didn’t really pay attention to him. Then a woman exited the building. The two greeted an elderly woman who seemed to work there. 

I looked at Tabi’s face though he was wearing sunglasses I could see the answer to my unspoken question there.
It was really HER.

She and her boyfriend began walking down the street. I walked in the same direction. I didn’t look around but Tabi was following me. 

On the other side of the street, she seemed to have noticed us. She kept looking over her shoulder. Suddenly she stopped, her boyfriend asked something she gave him an apologizing smile and rubbed her big belly. Then she turned her gaze back to us.

Luckily we had reached at my car. I went to the driver seat. In this moment I wondered how this would look from her point of view. 
Before he sat in the passenger seat he took off his sunglasses and gave her a final look.