Title: 4/5

I can smell the symbolism everywhere! X'D Now, time for business.

/puts on serious face

Honestly, I feel that using the word "Kiss" in the title is usually incredible cliché, but in this case...it fits so well with the story, and has a much deeper meaning. A title like this usually wouldn't draw me in immediately or pique my interest all too much, but the symbolism ups your score.

Description & Foreword: 5/5

The description and foreword both drew me in and made me want to read more of the story. It was also spaced out and easy to read, so no problem there. Kudos to you for not including a character chart, they annoy me quite a bit.

Plot: 17/20

First of all, sorry if I'm a bit nit-picky with this review, but this story was overall fantastic and while you still have room to improve, your writing is quite exemplary.

The aloof/innocent/sheltered girl who gets herself into a terrible situation with a dangerous stranger is quite a common plot and appears everywhere, though people often change it up with other variables. The idea of a girl running away from home is fairly common, and so is the psychopathic murderer antagonist with a painful past. The flashbacks that reveal the backstory are well-written and connect the events of the present to each other and helped make more sense of the story, but I feel that I was reading more flashbacks than the actual story.

What I like about your plot is that while there is beauty involved, you reveal (though somewhat cryptically) to the readers that beauty can mask ugliness. Although this is a great story overall, the ending was a bit of a let-down. I know that you plan on adding a sequel, but feel that it should've been climatic and suspenseful as opposed to melancholy and bittersweet, as to draw in more readers to the sequel and leave them squirming in their seats for the continuation of the story.

Gore and psychological elements are included in the story, but would I really categorize this story as horror? Probably not. I feel like it's more of a gore/psychological/romance story than horror. The scenes included weren't particularly frightening or startling, albeit being very bloody. It's a very emotional piece and points out the beasts inside of beauty, bravo!

Flow: 14/15

Overall, the flow and voice of the story was smooth, and transitioned well from each part. Although there were parts where I was momentarily confused about what was going on because of the flashbacks or random scene changes, I was able to get back on track quickly. (aka I didn't just sit and stare at the screen for ten minutes, scrolling up and down and wondering wtf is going on.)

Also, there is an awkward moment in canto vi--not sure if you intended it to be this way, but there is a passage that repeats itself about halfway down the page, from when Mieun encounters Daehyun and he's gripping her neck. (For what seems like the 40th time, I would change it up if I were you, and have him grip her arm, or legs, or face, or waist, or something else). The dialogue also seemed very natural, if a horror story could be natural.

The timing was very well-balanced; the story didn't move too fast or drag out. The chapters were fairly lengthy, but didn't keep me reading the same chapter or one scene for too long. Besides the sequencing of the events and flashbacks throwing me a bit off while reading, the flow of the story was very even.

Characters: 13/15

Giving the two main characters split personalities is interesting. I think your main characters are very well-rounded and nicely developed, but not so much the side characters. Xi Luhan is a bit random and pops out of nowhere then just disappears for the rest of the story. Although he does serve a purpose, I'd like to see more of him and how you can incorporate him into the story a bit more. The same with Hyun; I feel that after the flashback, it is very easy to forget about him.

What I liked about your characters was having Mieun be almost a reincarnation of Eunmi. You also portray the characters very well--insanity is quite a hard emotion to write about, because most people haven't yet experienced it. It's the same with love, but you capture these emotions nicely. Mieun has the weirdest case of Stockholm Syndrome that I've seen in a while, but her naïveté and being 'blind' to the events around her added even more deep symbolism to the story.

As for Daehyun, his guttural, almost instinctive need for Mieun is well-written, and his descent into insanity is...interesting, to say the least. I'd suggest that you make his split personalities even more contrasting than they already are, to shock and appall the reader further.

Mechanics--grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.: 8/10

I have to say, this is the area where most people usually screw themselves over, even if their story is brilliant. However, the mechanics in your story seemed just fine, give or take a few places where your grammar or tenses were off.

In one place, there was a repetition of words that made the sentence sound off; "He squeezed her neck painfully, listening to her painful gasps." (canto iv)  Using the two different variations of the word 'painful' in this sentence made an otherwise correct sentence a bit odd to hear or read in my head. Try using a synonym for pain instead, or any other word that can replace 'painful' and still convey the feeling of pain to the reader.

I suggest that you re-read your chapters carefully and use spell/grammarcheck, because there are quite a few tiny mistakes here and there that were probably just overlooked. But anyways, the format was very neat and clean--no huge lettering or random colors or pictures placed in the middle of the story (yes, people do that).

Originality: 12/15

I especially liked all the nods to Dante's Inferno, from the title and the quotes from the original text, to using "canto" to name the chapters. The layout of the story follows the traditional layout--I'd like to see it become a bit more unique and one-of-a-kind.

As I mentioned before in the 'Plot' section, the main plot of your story is still very common, but I like how you tweaked it. Also, regarding originality in the formatting and sequencing of the events in the story, there isn't much; like most of the other stories out there, your story includes flashbacks cutting in between scenes that occur in the present time.

I haven't read many Daehyun stories or even watched him in variety shows, so I don't really know about his personality--but I'm pretty confident that many people don't portray their precious idols as psychopaths, so good for you, you're original!

Writing style & voice: 10/10

Your writing style and voice is very natural, and it's probably what I like best about the story; it feels as if you're telling a story to the reader instead of narrating it. The heavy symbolism in your writing also adds a nice flair, there are way too many writers that just jot down whatever comes into their mind and don't bother with symbolism or understand its importance in writing.

The focus on the more horrific side of things is a nice touch, especially during the kiss. Using repetition over and over again was really nice, even when it became a bit, well, repetitive at times. The voice of your story feels very cryptic and mysterious, which adds and ties into the overall mood and feel of the story.

Total: 83/100

Really great, but you can still improve!