It was early in the morning.

“Where did you spend the night?” – she heard from behind. Yongguk’s voice was lower than usual. His tone was not accusative, but one of reassurance.

Jieun looked at him, standing by the kitchen’s entrance.
She sat by the table, sipping her warm black coffee.
“With the girls. Sunhwa was feeling sick and dizzy…” – her tone was casual when she lied. Practice leads to automatization.

Yongguk just nodded.
They stared at each other for seconds… both knew Jieun didn’t have to tell a lie. Not another one.

“Do you need a ride to work?” – he broke the silence. His voice with a different tone now. One Jieun couldn’t identify.

She cleared , before speaking.
“No, it’s fine… I’ll take a bus.”
A smile never leaving her lips.

Yongguk nodded, and forced a smile. He was so tired of trying, that it looked more like a painful expression.

Jieun left earlier, as she had been doing for a while now, and she only waved from the door before going out.
Yongguk knew better.
Seems like a woman can’t fake it. When she’s happy, when she’s not… when she’s in love, when she’s not…

It was later than midnight when Jieun got home that day.
She thought Yongguk would be already asleep, but he was awake, sitting on the sofa she had insisted to be orange.

She seemed to be slightly shocked upon seeing him, but… but, no, that wasn’t shock. It was something else.
“Hey…” – she greeted, taking her coat off.

“Hey…” – Yongguk anwered. His eyes with a different light, or probably no light at all. – “I… I tried to call you, but you didn’t get it… I was getting worried.”

Jieun could feel his deep voice making her heart shake. Yongguk had once been so bright, and full of emotion. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for killing that each day. 

“My phone… it ran out of battery” – she spoke, sitting by his side.

“I see…” – was all Yongguk managed.

Jieun looked at him while he looked at his hands. The wedding ring he had always been proud of was there.
Did Jieun know where hers was?

“I’ll bath and go to bed, okay?” – she spoke, standing up – “Sorry for worrying you” - she said before placing a kiss on his cheek. Her lips burning with regret.

She had already reached the staircase when Yongguk’s voice stopped her.

“Jieun…” – he called, still on the sofa, not facing her – “…if I… If I had ever done anything wrong, anything to hurt you or… to push you away, I…” – his voice broke – “…I’m sorry… I love you”

Jieun was devastated.
How had she dared to do this to the one she loved the most? The one who had accepted her feelings and given her his…
How could she sleep by his side and be so… venomous and unworthy?

They slept together, but apart.
Yongguk couldn’t help but wonder if he was really the one Jieun wanted to sleep beside, and one could say “it gets better by the morning”, but it wouldn’t, and it didn’t.

Jieun’s heart was heavy.
Yongguk had woken up earlier than usual because her phone was ringing. He knew who it was, so he had tried to leave, to give Jieun privacy, to stay from that situation... Before he could though, she placed a hand on his tense shoulders.
“Stay… Sleep a bit more…” – she forced a smile, declining the call.

Yongguk answered to her smile with a similar one.
“It’s okay, get it…” – he stood up – “…it could be important.”

Then he left, leaving Jieun behind.

Hours passed like hours, days passed like days…

Jieun had woken up alone in their bed. It felt cold, empty…
She bathed and dressed herself to work… The sunshine entering their room through the window… she could see the flowers they had cultivated. Yongguk had insisted those to be Baby Breathes.

Yongguk…

“What’s the matter?” – his voice brought Jieun back.

“It’s nothing… it’s just work, you know.” – he heard her replied while walking close to him, placing her arms around his neck.
He wanted to hold her back, he did! But his arms wouldn’t move… that hug, that love… it didn’t belong to him anymore.

There was silence.
Then her phone rang.

Jieun looked at him, as if apologizing.

“Get it… it could be important.” – Yongguk managed with a forced smile, and he himself took her arms away from him.

He left the bedroom, heading to the living room.
It felt cold without her arms around him… it felt empty, and although he had learned how to deal with this feeling, it didn’t hurt less.

Through the window he could see the warm sunshine give room to a very heavy rain. It felt as if the sky cried the tears he no longer had.

He heard Jieun’s steps, and met her by the staircase.
“Your coat…” – he spoke. His voice lower, deeper than usual.

They walked to the door in silence then he spoke first.
“See you later…”

Jieun replied with a tight hug.
“I’ll come home earlier” - and that had made him smile.

Yongguk watched as she crossed the street and entered the bus, which stood still.

The rain was still heavy… He wondered if she could see him as clearly as he could see her. Sitting on the forth seat, her favorite; taking her phone from her purse…

The way she rushed to take her phone…

“Please, don’t…. I love you”