Oh Stay, Stay Again
Cold Hearts
Heck
What am I doing, giving you this confusing and weird fic kekeke
Actually this is the remake version of this story. Just thought that HunHan suits my angsts better kekeke
Happy mourning everyone ~
_____________________________
They're standing on the sands, right at the foreshore, facing each other. Eyes are already b red, swollen as if they had been crying all night. Both of them had promised to theirselves that there won't be any tears today, because it might be their last meeting, and both didn't want to remember each other this way. But it has already happened, even fate couldn't help them right now.
Sehun stared into Luhan's deer eyes. It resembles his own eyes. Red, swollen, tired, wanting to end this as soon as possible.
Finally he speak up. "Hyung.. let's end it like this."
"But why?" Luhan feeling so stupid for asking it.
"You know why. You know it so well."
"No. I don't. And i don't want to."
"Luhan hyung, please - "
"No, Oh Sehun," Luhan cut his words, "you're right, let's just end it like this."
Sehun know he could do nothing as he watched Luhan turned his back on him and walked slowly, until he disappeared by the distance, along with his happiness.
When Luhan woke up the next morning, he found his eyes are teary alreay. He pressed his palm gently at his face, to absorb the salty liquid, and take a look at it.
'Sehun, I'm crying again. Please tell me how to stop it. I'm tired already, but the tears are keep trying to get out from my eyes. Please. My eyes are burning. My heart is still burning too.'
When Sehun woke up the next morning, his eyes are completely dried already. He wiped his cheeks furiously, because there's so many traces of the very same salty liquid he know Luhan would spend too.
'Hyung, I ran out of tears. I can't sob again, I think. Look, how much it hurts me, even my tears can't come out anymore. I hope you're not as miserable as me.'
When Luhan get up from his bed, his legs are trembling. But he tried to walk. He still can walk. He still can live. Without him. He hoped.
'Sehun, do you remember how I said I can't live without you? I guess I was wrong. I still can. But, well, without you, I don't think it's my own life anymore.'
When Sehun get up from his couch, he barely can order his own legs to move. He fell on the floor instead. He tried to walk. Though he can't easily do it. He can't easily live. Without him. He know.
'Hyung, I can't live without you. It's like I'm living someone else's life. But if I could save your future and you heart with disappearing from your life, then I'm fine with this pain. I won't feel it sooner, tho.'
When Luhan chewed his bread and drank his milk, he couldn't really taste them. He just swallow it along until it reached his tummy. He barely could taste it on his tongue.
'Sehun-ah, food tastes nothing. And it's weird for me. I'm not used to this. I'm not used to be without you.'
When Sehun chewed his bread and drank his milk, he couldn't really chew and gulp anymore because even the softest bread and the tastiest milk hurts his throat so much. As if he's swallowing a knife.
'Hyung, I can't eat anymore. Maybe I'll still try to do it if you're here. You were always here to cheer me. But I can't be selfish anymore. I need to set you free.'
When Luhan took a spoon of ice cream and ate it, he didn't flinched at the coldness at first. Then suddenly a stream of tears starts to rolling down his cheeks. He cried so badly. He found himself panicking inside his head.
'Sehun-ah, please be fine, please be fine, please don't get sick again, please, just for a day, please.'
When Sehun was about to take a full spoon of ice cream, suddenly a pain rushed from his tummy to his throat, and he immediately went to the toilet, choked after he coughed so hard and see the red ironic-smelled stains at the toilet floor. He cried silently. But he smiled as he whispered in his head.
'Hyung, I'm fine, I'm fine, I won't get sick again, I hope. Pray for me then.'
When Luhan reached a book that seems a bit interesting from his bookshelf, he opened the last page, staring at the words written. 'Will you think of me?'
'Sehun-ah, will you think of me?'
When Sehun tripped over an old book, he took it and flipped through its pages, staring at some words. 'Yes, forever I'll think of you.'
'Hyung, of course I'll always think of you.'
When Luhan picked up a photo of him and Sehun, he smiled so wide at it. But somehow tears managed to stream down his cheeks. He cried so hard and wiped his tears with all his might. A drop of it fell right on Sehun's smiling face at the photo.
'Sehun, why is this life could be so hard for you and me?'
When Sehun stared at his own painting of Luhan's smiling face, he couldn't bear not to cry. Then he cried so loud, as a drop of his tears fell on Luhan's left eye at the painting.
'Hyung, how could the destiny be so cruel on us?'
When finally Luhan can't hold it anymore, he laid his back on the floor, still crying sadly. He reached out his hand to grab the air, pretending that it's Sehun's silhouette. Because he know he won't be able to touch him anymore. And still with faling tears, he fell asleep, as he whispered something, entering another sleep that will be ended with a nightmare.
When finally Sehun felt his entire body got numbed, he fell onto the floor, his tears are still flowing. He managed to reach one of his hand out, grabbing onto nothing. And he wished so bad that Luhan is there. Because he wanted to see him for the very last time, which is not going to happen at all. With the rest of his strength, he mouthed the three words he wanted to say so much, before entering his own eternal sleep, leaving this cruel world.
'I love you..'
__________________________________
As I said ~~~~~~
Comments