“Jieun ah!”

     I saw my mom waving at me.

     I walked towards her and she clasped her arms around my mine as we continue strolling into our old ancestral house.

    “Ballet”

     The old signage in our rusty metal gate hanged in there for years. Who knows when will it be removed someday? It holds many memories from the past.

     Heading inside the house, I can still feel the welcoming atmosphere as I opened the huge entrance door leading to the lobby which used to be a practice room for ballet dancers like my mom. It was once a lively hall.

     Everything seems untouched. Even the curtains and chairs are still in the same places, just covered by the white blankets.

     Then I saw the old wooden piano organ still laid in the same area. I just felt nostalgic after seeing it for quite some time. But what made me smile was the old cabinet with a mirror attached in front of it. I opened it and saw something familiar, something memorable during my childhood days- my ballet shoes.

     “Oh it’s still here?”

      I lifted up my sleeves and picked up my old pair of shoes, then closed the cabinet. Upon looking at the mirror, I remembered the same scene fifteen years ago.

     As I peeked into the mirror, the reflection showed a boy dancing gracefully in the wooden floor. I may say that he’s the best dancer I’ve seen at that time.

     “Maybe he’s one of my mother’s students” I mumbled.

      The boy, who’s a few years older than me, waved at me upon noticing my presence. “Hello!”

      But I just kept on ignoring him and continued depressingly my shoes while sitting on the floor. It was just awkward being noticed for the first time since I’m not used to being given attention anyway.

     I thought he will leave me alone just like how other children did to me. Who would even care about me? I’m not fun to be with.

     I stared blankly at the mirror. Then the boy got hold of another mirror and reflected the light back at the mirror I’m staring at. He smiled and approached me, doing such sign languages to make me understand what he would like to say.

     “I’m Kai.” That’s what I’ve interpreted based on his gestures.

      “Why are you alone here and sad?” he looked at me with those innocent eyes.

     I replied, “I don’t have any friends to play with.” showing a frustrated pout on my lips.

     “Can I play with you?” he asked then sat beside me.

     I paused for a moment, thinking deeply. “Is he really going to play with me?”

     I hesitated at first, but later on I nodded at him. Who knows, he might be the friend that I was waiting for? I’m not going to let this chance by this time.

     Then he showed me a gorgeous smile that made me blush. He was so cute especially when he’s this close at me. He then grabbed my hand and accompanied me to the garden outside the practice room.

     It’s my first time to be accompanied by someone different from me. I somehow felt comfortable because I’ve always wanted to have a brother by my side. The little girl inside of me is secretly smiling, my heart is full of contented happiness. I’ve never been this happy before, and it’s just sad to think that it may end soon.

     “Woah! There are lots of beautiful flowers here!” I was really mesmerized by natural beauty surrounding me. But maybe, it was just that magical feeling that everything seems as beautiful as reflected by my mood.

     Then we played, chasing each other down the stairs and running endlessly into the corridors. Even the feeling of exhaustion is neglected when you’re having fun. We played up until the sun sets. Childish as we were before, it’s a sad part where we need to say goodbye.

     He bid goodbye to me afterwards and promised to come back tomorrow to play with me once again. And every night, I would wish that it’s morning once again so that we can have as much fun as we can have.

     From that day on, we will always do the same childish acts. I treated him as my best friend and I know that he did the same thing to me too. I always searched for him after his practice hours and he would happily peek at the window telling me to come up because his practice will be ending soon.

     At that moment, I felt really happy and blessed to have a great friend like him, that although I’m not normal just like him, he still stayed by my side as a friend.

     One day, he asked me, “Do you want to dance?” offering his hand to me.

     I felt insecure and replied while looking at the floor, “How can I dance if I can’t even hear the raindrops and the chirping of the birds?”

     He started tapping his feet on the floor. Then he raised his hands just like a flying bird.

     “I want you to imitate my moves” he said.

     Can I do this? Yes, you’ve always wanted to do this.

     So I stood beside him and tapped my feet following his moves. Every time, he would look at me and check if my moves are accurate, and I can’t help but stare at his flawless skin. And when I realized that he noticed my strange acts, I would often look away and breathe deeply.

     He uncovered the piano keys and then taught me about notes and keys. Of course it’s not as easy as it seems to be, especially for the fact that I can’t hear them.

     Sometimes, when I’m at the edge of breaking down from frustration, Oppa would lift me up and smile at me saying, “Don’t be afraid, you are going to be ok. You can dance, just believe in yourself.”

     Then he started using the old disk player, also called a turntable, the one which uses a big disk as seen in the movies. And as the disk started spinning, he would usually ask me to touch the speaker to feel the beat of the music then count each rhythm so I could follow his routine steps.

      Each day, I would apply all that I’ve learned from him and dance alone. He would usually watch me secretly. I knew it because I can see his shadow. You can’t fool me, oppa!

      Once, when we were both exhausted from practicing, he lay down on the floor and I sat beside him. He grabbed my wrist and placed the palm of my hand on top of his chest.

     “It’s my heart…can you feel my heartbeat? It’s like dancing.” he asked while heavily panting.

     Oppa’s heart, it’s racing so fast.

     I nodded and furrowed my brows, “What’s the connection with your heart and dancing? Is he kidding me?”

     Then he replied, “Just follow the beat of your heart, and you’ll never go wrong with your steps. Feel every rhythm, every beat…feel the presence of your soul, and always be the best that you can while dancing.”

     His words struck me. I’ve always been eager to dance since I was a little child, but my disability made me frustrated and made me lose all my hope and dreams of becoming a great dancer someday just like my mother.

     Are you an angel in disguise? You have changed my whole life.

     Instead of playing, everyday, Kai oppa would teach me how to dance gracefully just like how he did with those arabesque moves. One by one, I could confidently move my body even without hearing the notes. I wonder how beautiful those notes are.

     I’ve always wanted to hear them, I hope I can someday.

     “Sway it like this…”

     “Stretch out your arms…”

     “Straighten your legs gently…”

     “Lean forward…”

     “Give me your hand, and we’ll both dance…”

     I could feel his warm touch on me. Shivers run down my spine, and it’s suddenly getting more and more awkward for me, but I still managed to control my feelings because we’re too young for those kinds of things.

     We did those lovely dance routines for almost a year, up until I memorized all the steps. He would evaluate me afterwards if my steps are in rhyme with the beat of the music. My body volunteered to sway and turn with the melody composed by my inner mind.

     “OMO! Jieun, you’re now a great dancer!” he would usually clap for me happily while doing those gestures.

     “It’s because you taught me how to! My teacher is really great! “ I commended his efforts.

     Whenever oppa would have his practice sessions, I would always follow his steps until I became familiar with them one by one.

     “This is a miracle, our Jieun already dances gracefully”, my mother would sometimes proudly compliment my moves.