ATHENA

Description

This is the first time i made a fanfic at this web....and this is my first fanfic i made....i hope you guys like it....and i'm sorry if the story is not good or else...i choose the character of them , because i like them....so enjoy reading guys....

Foreword

[IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/s2b8xs.jpg[/IMG]

when justice cannot be relied upon, a human prefer a dark road ....

seeking their  justice by  themselves in their own world.....

character :

Park Jiyeon

19 years old girl that just graduated from her highschool days , entered one of university at Korea , since she’s so interested in chemical lesson , she decided to learn about it , then she took chemical engineering direction in that university, but she also interested with psychology things. The darkness past , made her became different.

Kim Myungsoo

Jiyeon’s sunbae , he was cheerful guy and really love with animal especially dog , he took veterinary medicine direction since he’s really care about animal. He took that direction because he ever got bad experience from past about his pet.

Park Hyomin

Studied at police academy in Directorate of Criminal Investigation. There’s a reason why she took that direction and want to be police. She just living with her younger brother and her mother , since her father already gone.

Nam Woohyun

His father is one of general at police office , also the  lecturer at Hyomin’s college. But , he didn’t want to be like his father and more choose music direction , his voice is nice and also can playing many kind of musical instruments. Populer , absolutely yes , since he has a band that famous at his university. Myungsoo’s friend.

Hahm Eunjung

Working at police office at investigation direction , she also the assistant-lecturer , which sometimes replace Woohyun’s father , when he couldn’t teach the students. Careless girl , she was smart to arrange some cases but sometimes there’s something that she forgot.

Ok Taecyeon

Sergeant mayor , that the position that he got in his young age , kind , cool guy and smart but sometimes his act made some people annoyed too with his showoff attitude. Beside that he was Eunjung’s close friends since they still at highschool.

Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
mjc0930 #1
the first time i write down my comment here, be prepare.. it'll be a bit long haha..

so far i like your story line unnie~ really interesting :D
since i am a lover of detective stories, i really interesting in this fic :D
and you are dare enough to take this as your theme, it's not easy to write a mystery, but you are doing good enough in your first time :))

for the 1st chap, congratulation it's so fast to took my attention! i can say you did good there, you know so well the rule how to attract reader's attention in 1st chap >
"exaggerate simple things and try to hide the main point, and 'pause' it in the best part."
NICE~

in the 2nd chap.. nah nah~
it was good... i also like... but i found some little awkward ways on your writing style... and awkward part too..
not to make you to feel offense or else, i really like this story so that's why i wanna make some "investigation" in hope you can improve it in the next chapters :D

would you mind to read my "analysis" of your 2nd chap?
here i go...

Hyomin and Eunjung are the detective (police) here, it's a bit impossible if they dunno about poison thingy, the symptoms of it and its effect of human body.
moreover in 1st chapter you wrote that they already checked the dead body, normally police (they are professional or amateur, has high position or low) if the dead body died cz of poison, they will fastly find it out.
and.... you have to remember, police has Doctor or Forensic team and Chemist to help their investigation, it's almost impossible for them to miss out the symptoms of poisoned dead body :)
i read it so awkward when a citizen like Jiyeon knows it the most and became the 1st person who found it out.

it's all only my opinion and my thoughts :))

but OVERALL.... the story line is NICE :D
and i like it really <3

nah unnie... i showed you my "analysis"...
i wanna share my correction to you.. but not here...
let's have some discussion :D

_Dhee
sungran #2
Chapter 2: Looks interesting. Keep update author-nim
Sieghearts #3
Chapter 2: Detective Jiyeon is coming.. XD
The analysis that Jiyeon make, made her sounds like å detective.. Hahaha :))

Who is this tablo?
Is he related to them?

Will waiting for the update then..

Keep it up als unnie..
It's not like we didn't like your fanfic but, sometimes I didn't know what to comment.. So, I end up not commenting it.. Maybe it's the same with other people.. Figthing Unnie, I love your fanfic (◦ˆ⌣ˆ◦)
Sieghearts #4
Chapter 1: It seems nice...
The thing that make me curios is Jiyeon Past and woohyun too...
Want to know more...

Keep it up.. ^^
mondchan #5
Chapter 1: aww crime story!!! cool!!! nah... I wonder what's jiyeon actually..
keep it up unnie!!!
Back to Top ↑