"Pregnant," Kyuhyun says with a deep, dark voice that somehow even gets Kangin creeped out, "You made me pregnant. Me. I just. It's," he struggles to find the words, tries to convey how deeply this thought offends him, but all he can settle for in the end is a strangled, "why."

Ryeowook pats his arm, not at all fazed by Kyuhyun's aura of despair. "Mpreg gets a lot of attention."

"Any kind of publicity is good," Sungmin pipes up, shuffling closer to rest his chin on Ryeowook's shoulder, "oh, here, look at this comment! It says they're totally meant to be and that your writing is awesome." He looks a little wistful when he snuggles closer. "Cool."

"I knew I should have tried that with the SiHan," Heechul mutters under his breath, storming past Kyuhyun on his way to the nearest computer, and Kyuhyun visibly deflates at the complete lack of band support he is getting.

"Are you still mad that I didn't hold your hand in that presscon?" Kyuhyun wails, digging his nails into his palms as he refrains himself from wiping the half-traumatized, half-knowing smirk on Eunhyuk's lips. "You are, aren't you?" He grouches on, looking almost kicked and abandoned that even Sungmin starts to look guilty, and maybe Ryeowook, too, only another comment pops up in his browser, so any chance of Ryeowook deleting the damn thing is suddenly squashed by the prospect of more entertainment for the night.

"He'll get over it," Eunhyuk says consolingly, careful not to step within ten feet of Kyuhyun, just in case he balks or attacks him with the nearest object.

"Never," Ryeowook sing-songs, and Kyuhyun really wants to know what he had ever done to deserve this.

“Permission to hide under your bed for the rest of the night?” Kyuhyun says, very solemnly, and Eunhyuk almost has to do a double take.

“Um. What?” Eunhyuk asks, very intelligently.

“I spammed Ryeowook’s inbox with Kyuwook , and may have posted a few more in the forum he keeps frequenting now. He hasn’t seen them yet, but I can safely assume that he’ll be out for my blood when he does since I’m, y’know, ruining his OTP or whatever he calls it,” he explains, stooping under Eunhyuk’s bed and grimacing when he can’t fit. “Personally, I liked the one where you break his heart and I mend it with magical healing , but whatever.”

“Urgh,” Eunhyuk buries his head under the blankets, intent on crying in his sleep just to get rid of the mental images. Kyuhyun, on the other hand, starts to throw out Eunhyuk’s clothes from the closet, fully intent on hiding there for a few hours. Days. He hopes Ryeowook’s in a forgiving mood.

“KYUHYUN,” Ryeowook suddenly screams, “WHAT THE HELL.”

“Oh no,” Eunhyuk groans, “you guys are not having a pairing war in my room.”