"How was Summer?"
 
It wasn't that I didn't hear him my mind was just elsewhere it was like I just forgot to reply. I'd been like that since I got back from my vacation. I went to Thailand with Peniel and his family and we spent the entire Summer at a beach resort. It was expensive too, the kinda thing my parents could only ever dream of affording. It was great, amazing even and I could even stretch as far to say I had the time of my life. Of course he had something to do with it, the guy that made my stomach twist into knots and made my heart do backflips in my chest. The guy that even when I got home, no matter what how i tried I couldn't shake him and I knew things wouldn't be the same again.
 
"Hyunsik?" Changsub asked again this time tugging my arm. I turned to look at him, he had cocnern written all over his face. "Are you okay? You're all spaced out. You didn't happen to do a load of drugs on vacation did you?" He raised both eyebrows it was like he thought that was the genuine reason why I hadn't been myself.
 
I just laughed and shoved him playfully as we walked. "With Captain Fun Police? No way." Peniel was a really good friend of ours but we both knew him too well to know that anything out of the ordinary, unorthodox or illegal was out of the question. He was a good kid, too good and at times a bit of a kill joy. Not that I'd ever do drugs, or anything illegal, out of the ordinary or unorthodox.

I was as normal as they came. Just a kid raised in the country with my Dad and Mom as my only family. I worked since I was twelve harvesting the vegetables for the local farm, I did well at school, got into the college I wanted and instead of going out getting drunk at night I stayed home playing video games, reading manhwa and watching idol variety shows. Still, I was lying to everyone, my parents, my friends and sometimes even myself. Being gay didn't really come under the category "normal" where I was raised.
 
"So, the goggles still going for that look?" Changsub quipped flicking the plastic goggles that were strapped to my baseball cap. He was all about fashion and a little bit of a diva at times. He made me laugh though.

People just thought he was weird, he spoke with a bit of a lisp and he was very effeminate in his behaviour. That's what made him Changsub though and Changsub was my best friend. He was gay too, he came out to me in the middle of our first year at college. It was all so dramatic. I remember how his arms flailed, the tears streamed down his face and how he fell to his knees sobbing into his hands. I just gave him a hug and told him no matter what I still loved him. That was my problem though, as much as he'd confided in me I refused to do the same to him. I admit, I felt bad for him at times, I got to watch how he was treated for being open about his uality and it turned out even college kids were horrible when it came to people who were different.
 
"What can I say? I'm stuck in my ways." I straightened my goggles, worried he might have knocked them out of place and then I really would have looked stupid. "Besides they're cool. You could say I'm a fashionista?" I said taking a slight dig at Changsub who was obsessed with the idea of emulating his idol, Kwon Jiyong, the third year student who dressed like he'd fallen backwards through a designer wardrobe. To Changsub however, his dress sense was impeccible and he had the nerve to mock my goggles.
 
"Not cool. They were cool in the 90's back when H.O.T did the whole beenie hat/goggles mix and match but it's not the 90's and you're not an idol." He smiled. He genuinely thought he was doing me a favour commenting on my dress sense but he wasn't. I just let him get on with it though, it helped massage his ego when he felt he was giving a sassy fashion critique and he often laughed to himself before scribbling down what he'd said in his note book. The same phrase would probably crop up later in the day on his online fashion blog.
 
"Well maybe you could say I'm vintage." I teased, I knew if I didn't back down it would wind him up. He always liked to have the last word.
 
As we approached the college gates I could hear the roar of a car engine, I turned to see a red audi speed up along side us and come to a halt at the parking bay in front of the gates. There was a lot of people in the car, I didn't recognise the driver and there were kids in the back I didn't know either but the girl in the passenger seat I knew very well her name was Gayoon, she was a in high school and she was still a in college. She stepped out of the car, her heels clicking on the pavement. She was wearing denim shrots and a vest top. Her hair was down, flowing past her shoulders in perfect ringlets. I figured then she must have left the house half because it took her all morning to style her hair.
 
"Well look who it is." She didn't even waste a moment of the first day back at college to speak to us. She must have been dying to be the first person to insult the two of us for the new semester. I just smiled as sweetly as my face permitted.
 
"Gayoon. Lovely to see you." I said.
 
She looked me up and down with a look of complete disdain on her face. She then grinned as the perfect insult came to mind. "Oppa, sing Candy for me." She was insulting my goggles of course it even made Changsub titter. "Wait, you couldn't be an idol. Idol's aren't facially challenged." She said, waving her hand in my face as if to point out to me where my face was.
 
"Gayoon, how was your summer? Stock up on pregnancy tests?" Said Changsub with his arms folded across his chest, lips puckered and one eyebrow raised. It was the iest thing I'd ever heard him say and I was proud of him for it. Gayoon was practically speechless, she never expected one of the college underdogs to take a swipe at last years rumour. Apparently she had with so many different guys on vacation she thought she was pregnant. Apparently her friend Jiyoon saw her purchasing ten tests from the local pharmacy. Of course, Jiyoon was no longer her friend and mysteriously ended up transfering schools.
 
"." Was the best she could come up with as she her heel and walked through the gates.
 
"." He called after her but she didn't hear him. She had already been reunited with her friends.
 
I could see them jumping up and down as they hugged. Screaming at the top of their lungs because it had like been, so forever since they last saw each other. "Like oh my god, I had the best summer. Like, seriously, why is your hair tied so tight? It's to keep my brain from falling out." I mocked. Changsub laughed, at least he appreciated my sense of humour.

I continued to put words into the girls mouthes as we entered the college grounds, mocking them and laughing with Changsub. However my laughter soon subsided when I saw him standing there in the courtyard waiting with his hands behind his back, a smile on his face and as we got closer I heard him say "I missed you."
 
Gayoon draped her arms over his shoulders. "I missed you too baby." She said and the couple shared a kiss. An inapropriately long, lingering kiss that made more than just me stop and stare.

It was weird. Public displays of affection were commonplace on college grounds and normally I'd just look the other way. However I became froze to the ground. I felt a feeling in my chest that I'd never felt before as though someone had my heart in their hands and they were squeezing it to the point of bursting. My arms fell numb by my sides and I dropped my text books to the floor, the sound of them crashing on the pavement beneath me was what finally snapped me out of it.
 
"." I cursed and quickly knelt down to gather my things.
 
"Earth to Hyunsik. What is wrong with you?" Changsub asked. I didn't even realise he was standing beside me the whole time, watching me space out into lala land.

He placed a concerned hand on my shoulder. I stood up and looked back over to where the couple had been kissing, they were still stood there only now Minhyuk was staring right at me and the arrogance of his smirk made me uneasy. Gayoon was talking away and this time I didn't feel like mocking her or making jokes with Changsub. Apparently, Summer vacation was a time you could be someone else, someone better and then when you get home things inevitably go back to how they were regardless.